Beleaguered Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is hoping to regain his political standing with a bold programme of constitutional reform, with the aim of bringing the glamour of show business to the mother of Parliaments. “I want to bring Parliament into the twenty first century and tap into...

“It’s a proven historical fact that watching the antics of the fabulously rich and privileged does more to boost the morale of the poor and deprived during a time of austerity than any amount of welfare or job creation schemes,” says John Dick-Wadd of the right wing political think tank...

“One of those royal bastards is a murderer! If they aren’t stopped they’ll kill again,” claims Detective Inspector Reg Strangler, who is alleging a massive cover-up by the authorities with regard to the body recently discovered near the royal estate at Sandringham. “That’s why...

Following the revelation that a key sequence had actually been shot in a zoo rather than the Arctic, the credibility of the BBC’s recent wildlife series Frozen Planet, fronted by Sir David Attenborough, has been further undermined by sensational allegations that, in reality, none of the...

DIRECTOR: SIMEON MANDRILL. RUNNING TIME: 83 mins. DVD: REDWING. PRICE £7.99 CERT 15 A 1960′s cult favourite involving a stash of weed, hippies, a VW beetle, and a gorilla that periodically turns invisible. No, really, it does exist and truly needs to be seen to be believed....

Here we are again – as I write this we are on the cusp of a New Year. As 2011 slips between our fingers, leaving, as all outgoing years seem to, that vague feeling that we it is ending too soon, that we never really got to grips with it, 2012 stretches ahead, a blank canvas waiting for our...

Top Royal-watcher Hugh Ropley-Tossington has claimed a massive official cover-up with regard to the Duke of Edinburgh’s recent illness and hospital stay. “The official line about him suffering chest pains is absolute nonsense,” the author of Muck House: Inside the Pleasure Palace told ....

One person unlikely to get a visit from Santa this year is Madge Howlett, after it emerged that Father Christmas had taken an injunction out against the thirty four year old Droitwich shop assistant, preventing her from coming within thirty feet of him, or communicating with him in any way....

Has Top Gear presenter and prize cock end Jeremy Clarkson inadvertently blown the lid on a sinister new government plot? Top conspiracy theorist Will Cupstock believes that Clarkson’s recent controversial remarks on a BBC chat show contain important clues as to a secret government policy to...

Day time television viewers were left shocked this week after popular gardening expert Adam Tithead appeared to suffer an on air breakdown. Throughout Monday’s edition of his show Green Fingers, forty three year old Tithead repeatedly squeezed a pair of large ripe melons, much to the...

DIRECTOR: MUSTAPHA KAKKAH. RUNNING TIME: 94 mins. DVD: ARAB STRAP. PRICE £15.99 CERT 18 A sequel to last year’s Delta Fatwah (a blockbuster tale of Arab special forces commandos defending the Islamic world from the evil West by slaughtering thousands of innocent citizens), Delta Fatwah 2:...

“Honestly, the scene where he thrusts his knob instead of a sword through the sides of a wicker basket containing his beautiful female assistance is comic genius,” enthuses John Pusker of Brazen Films, as he describes one of the highlights of the company’s latest DVD release, much loved...

“I know it isn’t what people want to hear, but world peace is bad for business,” declares former UK Ministry of Defence adviser Alan Wickler. “Besides, it simply isn’t natural – the truth is that people love a good war. It brings communities together, builds character and keeps...

Welsh crooner Tom Jones has found himself coming under fire from several sources. His attempts to move into rap and hip hop have apparently met with a hostile reaction from several top US rap artists. However, Dr Dre has denied that protégé Eminem chainsawed a giant replica of Welsh crooner...

“I suppose that some people might classify it as necrophilia, but no actual corporeal body is involved,” declares controversial medium Henry Wagstaffe, commenting on the new craze sweeping the occult scene – sex with ghosts. “Whilst the spirit form these occultists are having sex with...