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WILLIAM HAGUE'S SHOCK REVELATION THAT HE THOUGHT DAVID CAMERON WAS A FIGMENT OF HIS IMAGINATION SPARKS FEARS THAT BRITAIN'S LEADING POLITICIANS ARE CRACKING UP UNDER PRESSURES OF ELECTIONEERING!
BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY KICKS OFF ELECTION CAMPAIGN BY UNVEILING NEW COLOUR-CODED ENERGY POLICY! NEW ENERGY TARIFFS TO BE BASED ON ETHNIC ORIGIN! HAS TORIES' LURCH TO THE RIGHT FORCED BNP TO ABANDON EXTREMIST POLICIES?
IS CONSERVATIVE LEADER DAVID CAMERON PLANNING A MILITARY COUP? CLAIMS THAT BRITAIN'S TORIES PLOTTING TO USE WORLD WAR TWO RE-ENACTMENT NAZIS AS PRIVATE ARMY TO SEIZE POWER IN EVENT OF HUNG PARLIAMENT! WAS OCCUPATION OF COUNTRY TOWN BY FAKE GERMAN SOLDIERS TRIAL RUN FOR COUP ATTEMPT?
IS PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN A WEREWOLF? NEW BOOK CLAIMS PREMIER RIPPED OUT THROATS OF DOWNING STREET STAFF DURING LYCANTHROPIC RAGES! CABINET COLLEAGUES FEAR FULL MOON AFTER TERRIFIED CHANCELLOR CHASED TO DOORS OF TREASURY!
ARE INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST GROUPS A FRONT FOR COALITION OF MILITANT ENVIRONMENTALISTS AND NATURISTS? JOURNALIST ALLEGES GLOBAL PLOT TO RESTRICT AIR TRAVEL AND IMPOSE UNIVERSAL COMPULSORY NUDISM!
TOP ADULT STAR HELD BY MILITANT PALESTINIAN PORNOGRAPHERS FREED IN DARING SAS RAID! PERFORMER FORCED AT GUN POINT TO PARTICIPATE IN FUNDAMENTALIST PORN FILMS!
BRITAIN'S POLITICIANS DECLARE WAR ON THE WEATHER! TORY LEADER PROPOSES DEPLOYING MILITARY AGAINST INCOMING COLD FRONTS AND SHOOTING SNOWMEN ON SIGHT! PRIME MINISTER RESPONDS WITH PLAN TO DETONATE NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO HEAT COUNTRY!
DOES GORDON BROWN URINATE ON GRAVES OF FALLEN HEROES? IS DAVID CAMERON A NAZI? FEARS THAT TABLOID CIRCULATION WAR IS DRAGGING BRITISH POLITICS INTO GUTTER AS PRO-GOVERNMENT PAPER STRIKES BACK AT RIVAL'S ANTI-BROWN STORIES WITH SHOCKING CAMERON ALLEGATIONS!
ARE TORY LEADER DAVID CAMERON AND THE BESTIAL WILD MAN HAUNTING BRITAIN'S CORRIDORS OF POWER ONE AND THE SAME? POLITICAL COLUMNIST CLAIMS OPPOSITION LEADER'S ABUSE OF ANCIENT SEXUAL ART FOR ELECTORAL GAIN HAS UNLEASHED HIS INNER SEX FIEND!
ARE LIB DEM LEADER'S PROPOSALS TO TAX PERSONAL AIR CONSUMPTION BY NOSE SIZE RESPONSIBLE FOR EPIDEMIC OF NOSE RAGE SWEEPING BRITAIN? POLICE BAFFLED BY SPATE OF VICIOUS ATTACKS ON LARGE-NOSED MEN!
NEWSPAPER ACCUSES PRIME MINISTER OF TRYING TO CREATE NATIONAL CRISIS FOR POLITICAL GAIN! WAS SWINE FLU VIRUS CREATED IN SECRET GOVERNMENT LAB? DID GORDON BROWN PLAN FAKE TERROR ATTACK TO TRY AND BOOST SUPPORT?
ALLEGATIONS OF POLITICAL OPPORTUNISM VEHEMENTLY DENIED AS TORY LEADER DAVID CAMERON PREPARES TO SPANK OWN MPs OVER EXPENSES CLAIMS!
GOVERNMENT ROCKED BY NEW SCANDAL AS MINISTER MAKES OWN PORN MOVIES ON PARLIAMENTARY EXPENSES! CLAIMS FILMS ARE ESSENTIAL POLITICAL RESEARCH INTO EXPLOITATION OF WOMEN!
MEET THE CIVIL SERVANTS WHO PROCURE PORN, PROSTITUTES AND PERVERSITY FOR VISITING FOREIGN DIGNITARIES! SECRET GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT'S AMAZING ACTIVITIES EXPOSED!
IS TORY LEADER DAVID CAMERON LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE? DOES BRITAIN'S SUAVE LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION HAVE AN EVIL ALTER EGO INVOLVED IN EXTREMIST POLITICS AND SHADY FINANCIAL DEALINGS?
SUBURBAN STREET BLITZED AS BROWN DECLARES WAR ON RECESSION! RESIDENTS SUFFER BOMBS, BLACK OUTS AND CONSCRIPTION IN EXPERIMENT TO RECREATE 'WARTIME SPIRIT'!
ARE HOMOSEXUAL NAZIS FROM THE HOLLOW EARTH PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION? TOP CONSPIRACY THEORIST REVEALS GAY NAZI GENERALS' PLOT TO 'TURN' HITLER!
GOVERNMENT TO NATIONALISE AMY WINEHOUSE IN ATTEMPT TO BOOST ALCOHOL SALES! SINGER PERFECT ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNG BINGE DRINKERS CLAIMS CHANCELLOR!
REPUBLICAN VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SARAH PALIN DENIES INCITING CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALIST MOB BY CLAIMING BANKERS ARE BABY-SACRIFICING DIABOLISTS!
RUMOURS OF GIANT OCTOPUS ATTACK ON EAST COAST WIPES MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OFF OF SHARE PRICES! FINANCIAL SECTOR DENIES MAKING DECISIONS BASED ON IRRATIONAL FEARS!
TONY BLAIR SET FOR SHOCK RETURN TO GOVERNMENT AS WITCHFINDER GENERAL! BROWN ACCUSES OPPOSITION OF BLACK MAGIC CONSPIRACY AS BANKS FALL VICTIM TO VOODOO ECONOMICS!
FAILING LABOUR PARTY FACES HAVING PRIVATE COMPANY BROUGHT IN TO RUN AFFAIRS! BRANSON'S VIRGIN GROUP FAVOURITES FOR TAKEOVER AS MPS FEAR JOB LOSSES AND ASSET-STRIPPING!
FUEL PRICE PROTESTERS FORCED TO CANCEL DEMONSTRATION AS RIOTERS UNABLE TO AFFORD PETROL FOR MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!
PRIME MINISTER ACCUSED OF BUYING VOTES WITH SEXUAL FAVOURS! DID GORDON BROWN WIN VITAL TERROR VOTE BY OFFERING PROSTITUTES AND PORN TO REBEL BACK BENCHERS?
MINISTER HELD HOSTAGE IN S&M DUNGEON AND MPs PELTED WITH DILDOS AS MILITANT FETISHISTS STORM PARLIAMENT IN PROTEST AT NEW LAWS BANNING VIOLENT PORN!
INTERNATIONAL TERRORISM AWARDS ROCKED BY ALLEGATIONS OF VOTE-RIGGING! NON-ISLAMIC TERROR GROUPS THREATEN BOYCOTT!
SHOCK CLAIMS THAT HILARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN FUNDED BY HUSBAND'S IMMORAL EARNINGS! DID HILARY PIMP BILL OUT AS MALE ESCORT FOR LONELY WIDOWS TO RAISE FUNDS?
BORIS JOHNSON REVEALS PLANS TO TURN LONDON'S SINK ESTATES INTO 'GATED COMMUNITIES'! LOCAL POPULATIONS TO BE SEGREGATED BEHIND BARBED WIRE FENCES - 'FOR OWN SAFETY'!
NAKED CRIME FIGHTER HITS UK'S STREETS! IS NEW SUPER HERO PROPERLY EQUIPPED TO COMBAT CRIME - CAN NUDISM BE EFFECTIVE AGAINST SUPER VILLAINY?
DOES TORY LEADER DAVID CAMERON REALLY EXIST? AMAZING CLAIMS THAT UK'S LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION IS A MEDIA CONSTRUCT MANIPULATED BY SHADOWY RIGHT WING ORGANISATION!
WAS 9/11 AN ILLUSION MASTERMINDED BY TOP CONJURER DAVID COPPERFIELD? HAS BIN LADEN BROKEN THE MAGICIANS' CODE? EXPERTS WARN OF DIRE CONSEQUENCES!
SUBURBIA'S SECRET TORTURE CAMPS REVEALED! 'EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION' OF TERROR SUSPECTS TO INTERROGATION CENTRE IN PRIVATE HOUSE!
DID BRITAIN'S SECRET INTELLIGENCE SERVICE SPECIALLY RECRUIT AND TRAIN UNDERCOVER PERVERT TO PROTECT UK'S PORN RESERVES?
POST RETIREMENT ANTICS OF THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL MEN REVEALED! INDECENT EXPOSURE, CANNABIS FARMS AND NUDE BEAR WRESTLING AMONGST EX-LEADERS' HOBBIES!
BRITAIN ON TERROR ALERT AS SMOKERS STRIKE BACK AT SMOKING BAN! HUMAN ROLL-UP LAUNCHES SUICIDE ATTACK AT CROWDED AIRPORT!
POLICE FEAR NEW TERROR CAMPAIGN AS KGB-TRAINED RUSSIAN MAIL ORDER BRIDES SEDUCE THEIR WAY INTO BEDS OF BRITISH OFFICIALS!
BRITAIN'S BEARD WEARERS IN GRIP OF TERROR AS GANGS OF VIGILANTE BARBERS FORCIBLY SHAVE OFF HUGE BEARDS TO EXPOSE THE EXTREMISTS HIDING BEHIND THEM!
SADDAM'S EXECUTION BY AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION CONDEMNED BY WEST! FEAR DICTATOR'S LAST ERECTION WILL BE RALLYING POINT FOR INSURGENTS!
DOES CHANCELLOR GORDON BROWN STALK THE STREETS OF SOHO PROCURING YOUNG WOMEN FOR VISITING FOREIGN DIGNITARIES?
PRESIDENT BUSH DECLARES WAR ON CLIMATE CHANGE - US BOMBERS SENT TO NEUTRALISE WORST FOREIGN POLLUTERS! CAN GUNG HO GREENERY SAVE THE WORLD?
BRITAIN'S TORIES AIM TO 'SEX UP' IMAGE WITH DARING NEW 'PARTY PORNOGRAPHIC BROADCASTS'! NAKED CAMERON AIMS FOR 'GENERAL ERECTION' VICTORY!
THE DEAD ARE RISING FROM THEIR GRAVES - TO VOTE TORY! CONSERVATIVE LEADER DAVID CAMERON'S SINISTER NEW STRATEGY TO FLOOD POLLS WITH LIVING DEAD VOTERS REVEALED!
GOVERNMENT ADOPTS RADICAL NEW STRATEGY IN WAR ON OBESITY - STIGMATISE THE FAT! RIOTS ENSUE AS SALES OF CONFECTIONARY RESTRICTED!
REVEALED AT LAST - THE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE WAR ON TERROR: COPYRIGHT LAWYERS! PLAGIARISM CHALLENGE FORCES AL QAEIDA TO ABANDON ATTACK!
BRITAIN'S TORIES GO HIP HOP AS DAVID CAMERON 'RUNS WITH THE BIG DOG' TO TAKE 'COOLSERVATIVE' MESSAGE TO DISAFFECTED BRITISH YOUTH!
IS FORMER PRESIDENT CLINTON ACTUALLY A PORN-POWERED ALIEN ROBOT? BRITISH COMPUTER HACKER UNCOVERS SECRETS OF PROJECT PORNUCOPIA!
CARRY ON AGAIN DOCTOR AS GOVERNMENT RECRUITS SEXY NURSES AND COMIC DOCTORS IN ATTEMPT TO RESTORE PUBLIC FAITH IN HEALTH SERVICE BY MAKING ILLNESS FUN!
UK GOVERNMENT UNDER FIRE FOR IMPORTING FOREIGN CRIMINALS TO BOLSTER CRIME FIGURES!
IRAQI HOSTAGES FORCED TO PARTICIPATE IN PORN VIDEOS SOLD TO FINANCE INSURGENCY! CLAIMS THAT IRAQI BONDAGE MOVIE INSPIRED BY ABU GHRAIB SCANDAL!
ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR ORDERS BROUGHT AGAINST GOVERNMENT BY UK CITIZENS SEEKING RESPECT! BLAIR FORCED TO ATTEND 'GOOD GOVERNANCE' CLASSES!
OUTRAGE AS MI5 ADMITS TO EMPLOYING SEX OFFENDERS TO SPY ON TERROR SUSPECTS! SECRET SURVEILLANCE TAPES SOLD ON NET AS PORN VIDEOS!
PUBLIC INCONVENIENCE AS TERRORISTS STRIKE AT LONDON'S TOILETS! POLICE SECURITY CHECKS CREATE MASSIVE QUEUES AT CAPITAL'S PUBLIC CONVENIENCES!
BRITISH GOVERNMENT TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR MONSTER ATTACKS! MASSIVE OFFICIAL COVER-UPS TO CONCEAL EXTENT OF MONSTER RAMPAGES IN UK!
GOVERNMENT PLANS TO PUT A SEX OFFENDER IN EVERY SCHOOL BY 2012! ONLY REGULAR PERVERTS ALLOWED IN CLASSROOMS - NONCES SCREENED OUT!
BARNEY THE DINOSAUR BEHEADED AS LITTLE BLUE INSURGENTS RETALIATE AGAINST US FOR BOMBING OF SMURFLAND! FATHER ABRAHAM CO-ORDINATING SMURF TERROR NETWORK!
TOP POLICEMAN WARNS OF IMMINENT MUMMY ATTACKS ON BRITAIN! PRIME MINISTER ORDERS DETENTION OF ALL FEZ WEARING FOREIGNERS TO COMBAT 'CREDIBLE NEW TERROR THREAT'!
IS SANTA A NAZI WAR CRIMINAL? THIRD REICH LINKS SURFACE AS FASCIST FATHER XMAS WAGES REIGN OF RACIST TERROR IN NORTH LONDON!
WHITE HOUSE ROCKED BY NEW SCANDAL AS AMERICANS LEARN OF BUSH AND CHENEY'S SECRET GAY MARRIAGE! US PUBLIC ASKS: 'WAS BUSH THE BITCH'?
BRITISH NATIONALISTS CLAIM ASYLUM AS NEW ANTI-TERROR LAWS USED TO DEPORT DOMESTIC EXTREMISTS! FAR RIGHT TURN TO ISLAM IN QUEST FOR NEW IMAGE!
CUBA TO SEND HUNDREDS OF PIMPS TO ASSIST ECONOMIC RECOVERY OF NEW ORLEANS! LOCAL VICE DISRUPTED AS FLOODS WASH AWAY PROSTITUTES!
LONDON FACES NEW TERROR THREAT AS SUICIDE SEX BOMBERS STRIKE AT CAPITAL'S HEART AND GONADS! PUBLIC WARNED TO REPORT SEXUALLY PROVOCATIVE YOUNG WOMEN TO POLICE!
PUBLIC AND POLITICIANS UNITE TO CONDEMN CELEBRITY HIJACKING OF WORTHY CAUSES! MARCHES ON TOP STARS' LUXURY HOMES ORGANISED AS PART OF ANTI-CELEBRITY CAMPAIGN!
AMERICA SHOCKED AS FORMER WHITE HOUSE AIDE ALLEGES GEORGE BUSH SNR-DEEP THROAT CONNECTION! DID FORMER PRESIDENT REALLY APPEAR IN HARDCORE PORN FILM?
DOES FORMER PRESIDENT'S PENIS HOLD KEY TO AMERICA'S SECRET TREASURE? TERRORISTS AND PATRIOTS BATTLE FOR SECRET OF ANCIENT MAP TATTOOED ON CLINTON'S FORESKIN!
FORMER HOME SECRETARY VOWS TO CONTINUE FIGHT AGAINST CRIME DESPITE RESIGNATION! BLUNKETT AND GUIDE DOG DON CLOAKS AND TIGHTS TO COMBAT EVIL-DOERS ON BRITAIN'S STREETS!
BLUNKETT PROMISES TO PERSONALLY BEAT UP CRIMINALS! TAKES ON TORY RIVAL IN CONTEST TO INTRODUCE MOST REPRESSIVE LEGISLATION IN NAME OF LAW AND ORDER!
WILL BRITAIN'S POLITICIANS BARE ALL TO PUBLIC IN QUEST FOR VOTES? REALITY TV TECHNIQUES TO BE APPLIED TO UK POLITICS TO BATTLE VOTER APATHY!
SUSPECTED HIPPIES ROUNDED UP AS GOVERNMENT CRACKS DOWN ON SIXTIES RADICALISM! PERMISSIVE SOCIETY STILL CORRUPTING OUR KIDS CLAIMS BLAIR!
SADDAM CLAIMS PRESIDENT BUSH'S OBSESSIVE STALKING HAS RUINED HIS LIFE! WAS INVASION OF IRAQ REALLY TRIGGERED BY SADDAM'S SPURNING OF DUBYA'S AMOUROUS ATTENTIONS?
VATICAN DECLARES HOLY WAR ON WHITE HOUSE AS POPE BRANDS PRESIDENT BUSH THE ANTI-CHRIST! PRIESTS RECEIVE HOLY ORDERS TO KILL DUBYA!
ABU GHRAIB ABUSE SCANDAL SPREADS TO WHITE HOUSE AS SHOCKING NEW PHOTOS SHOW PRESIDENT HUMILIATED AND ABUSED BY AIDES!
FLATULENT FANATICS POSE MAJOR NEW THREAT TO BRITAIN! SUBWAY GAS ATTACK AVERTED AS SUSPECT'S ARSE CORKED IN NICK OF TIME!
DEPUTY PREMIER FED RADIOACTIVE PIES TO CREATE GIANT APE CREATURE TO COMBAT TERRORIST-CONTROLLED MUTANT MONSTERS!
HOLY WAR ON TERROR DECLARED AS GOVERNMENT INVOKES WITCHCRAFT ACTS! NEW ANTI-TERROR MEASURES TO INCLUDE DUCKINGS, BURNINGS AND HUGE CRUCIFIXES!
BRITONS EMIGRATE TO THIRD WORLD TO RETURN AS ASYLUM SEEKERS FOR PRIORITY HOUSING AND HOSPITAL TREATMENT! TELL OF INTERNMENT AND DEPORTATION ORDEAL!
PRESIDENT ADVISED OWN ASSASSINATION IS KEY TO RE-ELECTION! MUMMIFIED BUSH TO RULE FROM PYRAMID FOR SECOND TERM? CONTROVERSIAL STRATEGY REVEALED!
US CITIES ON YULETIDE TERROR ALERT AS PLOT TO HIJACK SANTA'S SLEIGH EXPOSED! ARE SANTA'S ANNUAL ALTRUISTIC ACTS COVER FOR GIANT CRIME NETWORK?
EVIL INFLUENCE OF FACTUAL TV CONDEMNED AS BUSH ADMITS IRAQ INVASION INSPIRED BY WATCHING NAZI DOCUMENTARIES! BIN LADEN AIDE CITES INFLUENCE OF 'JACKASS'!
VANDALS' HOMES VANDALISED AS POLICE DISPENSE ON THE SPOT 'JUSTICE' UNDER NEW ANTI-CRIME INITIATIVE! RETRIBUTION NOT JUSTICE VOWS HOME SECRETARY!
US DESPERATELY SEEKS NEW ENEMIES AS RUMSFIELD REVEALS CONTRACTS FOR NEXT POST-WAR REBUILDING PROGRAMME ALREADY LET! CONTINUED PEACE THREATENS THOUSANDS OF JOBS!
IS SADDAM'S PENIS THE SMOKING GUN? IRAQI DICTATOR SPOTTED IN US PORN VIDEO! EVIDENCE OF DESPOT'S ESCAPE TO CALIFORNIA OR CIA FAKERY?
TERRORISTS STRIKE AT BRITAIN'S MONUMENTS IN SNEAK ATTACK ON MODEL VILLAGE! HAVE SECURITY SERVICES EXAGERRATED AL QAEDA THREAT?
US PRESIDENT TO WAGE APOCALYPTIC WAR ON SINNERS! ‘GAY BOMB’ DEVELOPED TO COMBAT INTERNATIONAL DEVIANCY!
BLAIR PLANS MILITARY ACTION TO OUST LONDON MAYOR - FEARS PROLIFERATION OF EVIL ‘CONGESTION CHARGING’ SCHEME!
PRIME MINISTER PLANS TO ANSWER CRITICS WITH OWN CRUCIFIXION AND RESURRECTION! PROMISES TRUE MORAL LEADERSHIP FOR NATION AFTER ASCENSION TO HEAVEN!
'I TOOK IT UP THE BUM FOR BRITAIN', CLAIMS RENEGADE SPY! DISGRACED SEX-CHANGE SECRET AGENT LIFTS LID ON UNDERCOVER RENT BOYS!
BUSH LINKS TO BUGS BUNNY'S SO-CALLED 'RABBIT PACK' THREATEN PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN!
CAN BUSH 'MEASURE UP' TO HIS PREDECESSOR? DUBYA DESPERATELY SEEKS CLINTON'S PORN STASH IN DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO BOOST HIS FLAGGING 'PERFORMANCE'!
TERRORISTS PLAY DIRTY AS PLOT TO DROWN US CITIES IN OWN EXCREMENT FOILED! SADDAM ACCUSED AS SUICIDE PORNOGRAPHERS TARGET US CHILDREN!
CLINTON'S PENIS HIJACKED BY ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISTS! PLAN TO SHOOT EX-PRESIDENTIAL LOAD AT WEST COAST!
KEBAB VANS BECOME WEAPONS OF TERROR AS SUICIDE BOMBERS TARGET US ICONS! UK TERROR ALERT AS MACDONALD'S BRANCHES BURN!
POLITICS AND CURRENT AFFAIRS
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
RELIGION AND ROYALTY
POP CULTURE
SCIENCE
WEIRD
EDITORIAL
SLEAZE DIARY
REVIEWS
SLEAZEBAG
TOTAL BOLLOCKS!
STAFF PROFILES
LINKS
ARCHIVE
HUMORFEED