http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/ Top British Political Satire, News Parody and Surreal Humour en Copyright 2012, The Sleaze editor@thesleaze.co.uk Top Tories Blame Proposed Legalisation of Gay Marriages for Local Election Drubbing! Prominent Backbenchers Believe Pandering to Gay-Loving Liberal Democrats Has Alienated Core Tory Voters, Reject Notion That Economic Mismanagement Behind Poll Slump! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/pink-blues-765.html Was Spy Found Dead in Sports Bag Actually M's Secret Gay Lover? Sensational Claims That Double O Agent Sent to Soho in Drag to Retrieve Incriminating Bondage Photographs Stolen From Murdered MI6 Man! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/double-bondage-764.html What is it with this new puritanism that's sweeping the land? David Cameron might like to witter on about 'happiness indexes' for the UK and the like, but the grim reality of his government is ever increasing restrictions on people enjoying themselves! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/editorial76.html Is Commercialisation of Church of England Going too Far? Radical Cleric Proposes Replacing Cathedrals With Superstores to Raise Funds! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/jesus-saves-763.html Boris Johnson Must Die! Time Traveller's Grim Warning of Fascist Dictatorship in Britain if Top Tory Wins Mayoral Election Sparks Assassination Attempt! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/the-assassination-of-boris-johnson-762.html Outrage at claims that young unemployed threatened with benefits being stopped if they refuse 'work experience' as rent-boys and prostitutes! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/sexual-benefits-761.html A former News of the World executive has angrily denied that the now defunct paper attempted to set up the kidnapping of former Spice Girl Haliwell. "Such an allegation is utterly insane," says a spokesman for publisher News International. "Who in their right mind would pay money to get her back?" http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/son-of-bollocks-759.html Has Government's Police Privatisation Initiative Gone Too Far? Claims That Putting Murder Investigations Out to Tender Has Resulted in Two-Tier Crime Solving! Allegations That Amateur Sleuths Being Allowed to Bid For Less Glamourous Murder Cases! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/what-price-justice-758.html Has Fugitive Peer Spent More Than Thirty Years Hiding in Plain Sight as Nelson Mandela? Accusations of Racism as Top Investigative Journalist Claims Lord Lucan Fled to Africa and Blacked Up to Avoid Murder Charges! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/lord-lucan-found-757.html "Total turd might be a good way to describe this truly terrible exploration of the lives of people who are crap fetishists..." http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/crap-stories-756.html Peeping Toms for God? Controversial Bishop Supports Voyeuristic Bed and Breakfast Proprietors in Fight to Prevent Themselves From Being Exposed to Gay Sex! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/bed-and-buggery-755.html "Hooray, hooray! It's a leap year! The occasion when, every four years, we get given an extra day! Yes, that's right - a whole bonus day!" http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/editorial75.html Allegations of German Plot as Bailiffs Descend on Greece as Part of New EU Bail Out! Citizens Have Personal Possessions Seized to Pay Off Foreign Creditors Amidst Claims of National Asset-Stripping! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/all-greek-to-me-754.html Charities Blame Series of Attacks on Disabled People on Government. Accuse Ministers of Demonising the Disabled, Labelling Them as Benefit Scroungers Responsible for UK's Deficit! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/rage-against-the-wheelchair-753.html Is Labour Leadership Under Telepathic Attack From David Cameron? Miliband and Balls Don Tinfoil Hats for Defence Amidst Claims that Recent Policy Statements Result of Tory Mind Control Offensive! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/out-of-their-minds-752.html Prime Minister's Question Time to go Showbiz in Deputy PM Nick Clegg's Proposals for Constitutional Overhaul. Lib Dem Leader Claims He Wants to Make Politics more Relevant to Britain's Youth. Critics Accuse Main Parties of 'Dumbing Down' Political Process! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/political-games-751.html All Aboard for the New World Order! Is Proposed new Royal Yacht Really to be Ark to Save Wealthy and Privileged From Approaching Apocalypse? Sinister Truth Behind Bonkers Education Secretary Michael Gove's Proposals Exposed! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/a-royal-yacht-hurrah-748.html Which Member of the Royal Family Has Blood on Their Hands? Allegations of Royal Killer at Large After Discovery of Body on Royal Estate! Police Detective Claims Establishment Cover-Up Following Removal From Investigation for Trying to Interrogate Prince Philip! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/royal-murder-mystery-747.html Did BBC Use Men in Animal Costumes Instead of Real Animals in Frozen Planet Wildlife Documentary? Are World's Governments, Zoos and Wildlife Film Makers Conspiring to Cover Up Mass Extinction of Planet's Animal Life Through Use of Actors in Animal Suits? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/animal-magic-746.html "A 1960's cult favourite involving a stash of weed, hippies, a VW beetle, and a gorilla that periodically turns invisible. The plot involves our heroes falling in with some anti-vivisectionists, joining their plan to break into some government labs secretly growing top dope for the army..." http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/apes-a-go-go-745.html "The most striking thing about 2011 is the way in which, through the phone hacking scandal in the UK and the various financial crises around the world, a veil seems to have been drawn aside and the true workings of our world exposed..." http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/editorial74.html Was Duke of Edinburgh's Recent Hospital Stay Actually Result of Assassination Attempt? Top Royal Journalist Claims Giant Mutant Carrots Bred by Prince Charles in Unsuccessful Attempt on Father's Life! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/fruits-of-treason-744.html As Santa Seeks Injunction Against Crazed Stalker, Allegations of Sexual Harassment Against Christmas Icon Emerge! Father Christmas Accused of Abusing Position to 'Groom' Female Victims With Sexually Suggestive Gifts! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/stalking-santa-743.html Is David Cameron Planning to Steal Organs of Poor to Extend Lives of Wealthy Tory Backers? Incredible Claims of Secret Government Policy to Increase Supply of Organs by Boosting Traffic Fatalities by Cutting Road Safety Measures and Increasing Speed Limit! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/the-organ-snatchers-742.html Did Top TV Gardener Squeeze Guest's Big Melons Live On Air? Did Chris Evans Turn Mental Oriental After Cancellation of TV Show? Amazing Celebrity Breakdowns Revealed by Top Tabloid Psychologist! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/forbidden-fruit-741.html How Has a Sleepy Sussex Village Become Britain's Crime Capital? Are Unprecedented Spate of Armed Robberies, Sexual Assaults, Arson and Riots Result of Closure of Local Police Station? Is Village Victim of Gang-Related Crime Campaign? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/english-country-crime-wave-738.html A sequel to last year's Delta Fatwah, Delta Fatwah 2: Pilgrims of Hate gets off to a brisk start with several apparently Arabic passengers casting off their traditional robes and pulling off false beards to reveal that they are actually a group of redneck US terrorists intent on seizing control of the Iranian Air Lines jumbo jet they are travelling on... http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/delta-fatwah-737.html Did Beloved British Comic Tommy Cooper Appear in Porn Film? Fans of Fez Wearing Magician in Uproar as DVD Publisher Promises to Expose Britain's Pervos of Comedy With Release of Long-Suppressed 1970s Sex Comedies! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/just-like-that-736.html Is the UK Government Promoting Low-Level Third World Armed Conflicts in Order to Boost Demand For British Weapons Exports? Former Adviser Claims Ministers and Officials Running Private Foreign Policy for Profit!! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/give-war-a-chance-735.html Tom Jones and Robbie Williams' penis envy, Liam Gallagher breaks wind and Radiohead disappear up their own arses - more wild rumours and gossip from The Sleaze! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/bollocks11.html Clergy Condemns Latest Occult Craze - Sex With Ghosts! Warn of Evil Consequences as Controversial Medium Summons Spirits of Deceased Loved Ones of His Clients for Carnal Relation From Beyond Grave! Phantom Lovers or Spectral Sex Offenders in Disguise? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/horrible-sexy-ghosts-734.html "People, eh? Aren't they just so bloody tiresome? I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be bothered to communicate with most of the bastards..." http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/editorial73.html Are These Twins of Evil Demons Summoned by Labour Leader Ed Miliband to Discredit Tories as Part of Satanic Pact to Exchange his Soul for Electoral Success? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/twins-of-evil-733.html What is the Dark Secret Behind Internet Adoption Agency Offering Blue-Eyed, Blonde Haired 'Designer' Babies to Prospective Parents? Journalist Claims Aryan Children are Being Created From Stolen Body Parts by ex-Nazi Scientists as Vanguard of Fourth Reich! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/hitlers-step-children-732.html Government Rocked by Allegations That Dead Hooker Found in George Osborne's Bed During Student Days! Friends Claim Future Chancellor Merely Victim of a Harmless Bullingdon Club Jape! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/blue-murder-731.html Government 'free schools' under fire after allegations of brutality and 'beasting' at new secondary school staffed by ex-military personnel. School Principal claims establish aims to imbue pupils with 'officer values' of ruthlessness, arrogance and indifference to suffering in order to equip them for life at the top of twenty-first century commerce! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/officer-class-729.html David Cameron's 'Papist Plot' to disestablish Church of England and Return UK to Catholicism Revealed! Back Bench MP Claims Prime Minister in Cahoots with Vatican to Establish New Social and Moral Order Giving Divine Blessing to Wealth and Privilege! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/camerons-crusade-728.html Fears of 'end of privacy' as News International launches spy satellite to gather tabloid sex and scandal stories. Orbital surveillance systems provide media empire with more extensive coverage of celebrities' private lives that phone hacking! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/spy-news-727.html Is Your Neighbour a Paedophile? Read Our Handy Guide to Recognising These Disgraceful Perverts and Spot Whether You've Got a Nonce Next Door! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/paedo-alert-726.html Intended to be a companion piece to That's Spanking, the same director's compilation of famous cinematic spanking sequences, this film celebrates the unjustly neglected cinema of masturbation... http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/thats-wanking-725.html Controversial Historian Claims Restrictive Safety Regulations Impaired Efficiency of Nazi Concentration Camps, Whilst Risk Assessments Hampered Military Offensives. http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/health-and-safety-nazis-724.html Restorative Justice or Just Mob Rule as Gangs Cause Chaos on Streets of London? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/king_mob-723.html Allegations of Cover-Up as Politicians Deny Police Shooting of Unarmed Racist Bear Sparked Pitched Street Battles Between Polar Bears and Local Youths! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/wild_in_the_streets-722.html New Book Chronicles His Fight for Survival and Controversially Claims Existence of Lost Civilisation on Vanished Roundabout! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/roundabout_crusoe-721.html Top Tabloid's Editorial Judgement Called into Question Following Admission that Royal Exclusive is Simply Latest in Series of Stories Bought From Sex Offenders! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/her_majesty_exposed-716.html More Astonishing Revelations About Conduct of Doomed Tabloid as Ex-Employee Claims Newspaper 'Groomed' Serial KIller For Exclusive Headlines! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/great_british_news_scandal-715.html Believes Feline's Instant Access to David Cameron via Cat Flap Copuld Undermine his Relationship with Prime Minister! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/political_cat_fight-714.html BBC Chief Political Correspondent Nick Robinson denies trivialising Political Debate by trying to pass off inconsequential tittle-tattle about David and Ed Miliband as political analysis! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/brothers_from_another_planet-713.html Controversial New Film Depicts Jesus as Violent Avenger Beating and Shooting Adherents of Rival Religions! Amid Calls From Clerics to Ban Film, Director Defends Movie as Being Highly Moral and Supportive of Christian Values! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/kick_ass_jesus-712.html Is FIFA President Sepp Blatter Conspiring to Destroy Football as a Global Sport? Amazing Claims That Blatter is in Pay of NFL as Part of Plot For American Football to Usurp Soccer's Position as World's Favourite Sport! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/penalty-711.html Salford Man Claims Top Premiership Footballer Behind Public Exposure of His Extra-Marital Affairs! Alleges Poster Campaign Namimg and Shaming Him as Adulterer is Tit-For-Tat Revenge for Breaking Super Injunction by Naming Footballer on Twitter! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/named_and_shamed-706.html Osama or 'Faux'-sama? Conspiracy Theorists Cast Doubt on Assassination of Bin Laden, Claiming Terror Leader Died in Accident and Was Replaced by Double in 2007! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/i_buried_osama-705.html Lost Classic of British Cinema or Low-Budget Violent Porn? DVD Release of Notorious 1970s Slasher Movie Sparks Furious Critical Debate! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/sex_murderer-704.html UK Government Resorts to Crime to Cover Budget Deficit! Chancellor George Osborne Launches Daring Armed Raid on Icelandic Bank to Recover Debts! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/crime_tory-703.html Ecclesiastical Outrage Amid Claims That News of The World Tapped Mobile Phones of Top Bishops! ROgue Reporter Makes Amazing Claims of Leading Clergy Overheard Admitting Religion a Sham and Other Shocking Clerical Behaviour! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/true_confessions-702.html Britain Menaced by Radioactive Penis After Nuclear Worker Irradiates Genitals With Atomic Waste! Scientists Warn of Threat Posed By Mutant Monster's Mushroom Cloud Ejaculations as Series of Earth Tremors Blamed on Doomsday Cock! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/great_balls_of_fire-701.html Former Top Downing Street Aide Claims Libyan Military Intervention Motivated by Top Politicians' Desire for Perverse Sexual Gratification Rather Than Humanitarian Concerns! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/war_lovers-696.html Outrage as UK Government Strikes Deal For Aliens to Take Over North East of England! Prime Minister David Cameron Claims Alien Presence Represents 'Partnership' Rather than Invasion! Denies Deal is Attempt to Destroy Safe Labour Seats by Vapourising Voters! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/conservatives_and_aliens-695.html Is Charlie Sheen's Crazy Behaviour the Result of Bizarre Conspiracy? Top Hollywood Private Eye Claims Sinister Plot to Drive Sheen and Other Top Celebrities Insane! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/madness-694.html Top Super-Villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld Revealed as Evil Mastermind Behind Scheme to Blackmail British Racing Industry by Electrocuting Horses! SPECTRE Chief Claims Criminal Organisation Forced to Scale Back Operations Due to Lack of Investment During Recession! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/against_all_odds-693.html Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke Unveils Plans to Close Prisons and Put Rapists and Murderers into People's Cellars and Sheds! Claims Scheme for Local 'Community Prisons' in residents' homes is Big Society in Action, Rather Than a Cynical Cost-Cutting Measure! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/crime_does_not_pay-692.html Rogue Journalist's Extraordinary Claims of Systematic Blackmail of Top Public Figures Denied by News Corp! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/news_of_the_screws-691.html Designer Claims New Smart Phone Application Can Identify Suspect Nonces on the Street and Alert Local Parents to Potential Threat! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/stranger_danger-686.html Tabloid Claims Success in Solving High Profile Murder as Chief Suspect Commits Suicide Following Front Page Accusations! Outrage as Newspaper Applies Principles of Cheque Book Journalism to Crime Fighting! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/tabloid_detective-685.html Minor Celebrities to Risk Fires of Hell in New Reality TV Show as they Compete to Create Own Religions! Those With Least Votes Cast into Fiery Pit, Whilst Winner Ascends to Heaven! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/celebrity_messiah-684.html Calls for Christmas to be Postponed on Security Grounds as Festive Terror Plot Foiled! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/tinsel_terrorists-683.html Trading Standards Issues Stark Warning as Nation's Shopping Centres Invaded by Unofficial Father Christmases Offering Sub-Standard Gifts from their Rip-Off Grottos! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/rogue_santas-682.html British Prime Minister David Cameron Forced to Drop Official Pornographers From Public Payroll! Plans to Use Adult Movies for Party Political Purposes Denied by Government! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/blue_movies-681.html New Internet Suicide Exchange Aimed at Giving Suicidal Chance to Literally Go Out With a Bang Draws Widespread Condemnation! Rival Service Promises to Arrange 'Dream Suicides' For Those Wanting to 'Go Out in Style'! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/suicide_network-676.html Animal Shelter Claiming it Never Puts Down a Healthy Dog Accused of Cruelty! Allegations That 'Problem' Dogs Which Cannot be Re-Homed Being Deliberately Maimed and Injured to Justify Humane Destruction! Claims That Other Animals Entered in Illegal Dog Fights to Raise Funds for Shelter! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/dogs_life-675.html Are Britain's Police Trying to Drum Up Business by Encouraging Crime? Incredible Allegations of Officers Selling Guns and Drugs to Off Set Budget Cuts and Falling Crime Rate! Are Innocent People Being Fitted Up to Inflate Clear Up Rates? http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/caught_by_the_fuzz-674.html Top Psychic Investigator's New Book Tells of Night of Fruit and Vegetable Based Halloween Horror! Were Terrifying Supernatural Disturbances Result of Haunted House Being Built on Site of Market Garden Notorious for Plant Abuse?! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/haunted_house-673.html Did Crazy Scientist Chef Heston Blumenthal Create a Culinary Monster in the Kitchens of his Restaurant? Local Village in Grip of Terror as Celebrated Eccentric TV Chef's Latest Haute Cuisine Experiment Goes Awry! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/hells_kitchen-672.html Police Condemned for 'Political Correctness Gone Mad' as They Refuse to Take Allegations of Black Magic Ceremonies at Local Gospel Church Seriously! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/black_magic-671.html Coalition Government Revives Piracy to Cut Defence Costs! Ministers Claim Privateering is 'Big Society' in Action as Armed Yachts and Car Ferries Seize Thousands of Tons of Foreign Shipping! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/pirates_of_the_coalition-666.html Are Britain's Spies Going Mad? As Scandals involving Cross-Dressing Secret Agents and Deranged Analysts Rock Intelligence Community, Fears Raised that Rampant Insanity in UK's Secret Services Could be Threatening National Security! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/spy_who_lost_his_mind-665.html Fears that Revelation of MP's Closet Heterosexuality Could Undermine Coalition With Liberal Democrats! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/coming_out_of_the_blue-664.html Are Aliens About to Take the Earth Roughly From Behind? As Thousands of Flying Saucer Contactees Prepare to Bare Behinds in Anticipation of Close Encounters, UFOlogists Warn of THreat Posed by Extraterrestial Sex Tourists Out to Exploit Naive Earthlings! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/close_encounters_from_behind-663.html Did the US Army Pay Soldiers to Stare at Pornography? New Film Claims Existence of Top Secret 'Sex Ops' Programme With Aim of Creating Cadre of Assassins Capable of Remotely Killing Using Tantric Sex Techniques! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/sex_assassins-662.html Public Outrage as Newspaper Proprietor Reveals Secret Experiments to Rip Headlines Directly From Readers' Minds! Brains of Comatose Subjects Stimulated With Electrodes to Produce More Relevant Content! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/fiend_with_the_tabloid_mind-661.html Confusion as London Mayor Boris Johnson Suggests Buttock Skiing and Horse Pummelling as New Events for 2012 Olympics! International Olympic Committee Ignore Calls to Modernise Traditional Sports to Make Them More Relevant to Modern British Youth! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/going_for_gold-656.html Festive Fear as Britain's Christmas Trees Turn Body Snatchers! Threat of Christmas Every Day as Seasonally-Obsessed Replicants Take Control! http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/evilxmas.html