Jurassic Fart
Did the dinosaurs fart themselves into extinction? Top scientist sparks controversy with new theory that Jurassic giants own noxious emissions might have wiped them out by triggering catastrophic climate change.
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Author: docsleaze
Worst Defence
Were Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson’s latest policy initiatives inspired by watching children’s TV? Worst Defence Secretary ever’s plans for moonbase and interceptors to combat future alien threat allegedly ripped off from Gerry Anderson TV shows.
Read MoreBelow the Belt
Is Jeff Bezos’ penis about to bring down Trump? Amazon boss calls Trump-supporting tabloid’s bluff, daring them to publish illicitly obtained ‘below the belt’ photos of the billionaire. Does ‘smoking wang’ point toward President?
Read MoreBum’s Rush
Fears that post-Brexit toilet paper shortages could lead to civil unrest. Government prepares plans for rationing (two sheets per dump) and martial law, while citizens explore potentially hazardous alternatives including newspaper and scouring pads.
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Shoot ‘Em in the Commons
House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn’s ‘Zombie Government’ comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting ‘shoot ’em in the head!’ Rival parliamentary factions ‘tool up’ as Brexit debate turns violent!
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Ghosts of Brexit
Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?
Read MoreTory Tough Guy
Public amazement as Home Secretary takes tough line on immigration by personally attacking rubber dinghy and hurling illegal occupants back into sea. New policy initiative or cynical political posturing as Sajid Javid positions himself as Tory tough guy in race to succeed Theresa May?
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The Past Year Forgotten
We look back at the year past – or would if we could remember any of it. From phantom drones to Brexit turmoil, 2018 is vaguely recalled, but any predictions for 2019 are roundly rejected.
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Happy Brexmas!
Top Brexiteer switches sides following visitations from three ghosts with visions of Brexit past, present and future. Spectre of a far from Happy Brexmas with Santa being denied free movement to deliver presents, leads to cabinet minister embracing second referendum and ‘No Brexit at All’.
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Santa’s Secret Sweat Shop
Santa’s secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!
Read MoreInside the Brexit Bunker
Meet the ‘Brexit Preppers’ as they prepare their ‘Brexit Bunkers’ for the chaos they believe will follow a ‘No Deal’ Brexit. Top ‘Prepper’ tells of how tinned food, medicines, even illegal drugs, European porn and prostitutes are being hoarded in preparation for Brexit. Reveals that he is prepared to defend his bunker by force, if necessary.
Read MoreBlack Face Friday
Government proposes replacing ‘Black Friday’ with ‘Black Face Friday’, where you can only ‘bag a bargain’ if your face is covered in boot polish . Supporters believe ‘Black Face Friday’ would better address British traditions of intolerance, bigotry and casual racism than US import ‘Black Friday’.
Read MoreThe Hippie Quake (1971)
The film posits a future where the peace movement has become ascendant across the world, not as a result of rational argument or peaceful protest, but rather by force. Frustrated by the resistance to their creed, have decided to force their whole ideal onto people, deploying psychedelically painted tanks against pro war protesters…
Read MoreAlien Excrement
Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.
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Outdated Sexual References
Apparently these days people need to be warned that the past was different from the present. The TV schedules are full of shows with the premise of: ‘Wasn’t TV horrible in the past?’ They are full of micro celebrity millennial types looking aghast at the terrible racism and sexism on display in the carefully chosen clips of seventies TV programmes they’ve just been shown…
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Call of the Monstrous
Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.
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