Contrary to crackpot coronavirus deniers, ‘The Sleaze’ welcomes the arrival of Covid-19 as it ushers in the prospect of two weeks off work in self isolation. Plenty of time to contemplate the horrors of Boris Johnson getting another unsuspecting woman pregnant – will the mental image of his wobbling buttocks drive the population mad before the virus kills them?
Read MoreCould grave robbing for entertainment make for great TV? Fan suggests radical new format for ‘Masked Singer’, featuring dead celebrities revived as zombies by necromancy beneath masks. Is the elephant Elvis? Dead good TV or just bad taste?
Read MoreHas ‘wokeness’ emasculated modern men? Does The League of Angry Men, an underground organisation dedicated to stoking up and celebrating anger, in the hope of inspiring modern male youth to get furious and thereby reclaim their manhood, actually exist? Academic claims shadowy group behind current rise in hate.
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Do we need to start culling celebrities? Any celebrity expressing idiotic or ill informed opinions should be targeted for culling, experts suggest amid fears that TV reality and talent shows creating too many low quality celebrities.
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Constitutional crisis or cobblers? Will Prince Harry and Meghan’s decision to renounce royal life and live on council estate in Slough result in end of the monarchy as we know it? Royal experts disagree as to consequences of Harry becoming Uber driver.
Read MoreWhat lies behind Pope Francis’ assault on a woman in St Peter’s Square on New Year’s Eve? Was he fighting off sex starved Papal groupie, or was he preparing to fight evil with his fists?
Read MoreMan threatens to sue NHS for reviving him from clinical death. Claims medics’ actions wrenched him unwillingly from heavenly paradise. Controversially claims hereafter is eternal pub presided over by Christ the Geezer.
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Another Christmas done. Personally, I spent an extremely tranquil, low-key, Christmas Day – no turkey, no bloody relatives, no Queen’s speech. Yet, despite all my determination to break with tradition, on Christmas Eve I found myself watching the Midnight Mass on BBC1…
Read MoreSanta’s memoirs threaten to reveal salacious details of celebrities caught in flagrante delicto as he came down their chimneys. Legal action threatened as details of Peeping Santa’s activities made public.
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Boris Johnson in pre-election fist fight with shopping mall Santa. Furious Father Christmas accuses top Tory of indoctrinating kiddies in Grotto visit.
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Is the Tory Party under Boris Johnson actually a death cult? Top political analyst claims Tory supporters being lead into oblivion by a false Messiah.
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Does Labour have ‘Manifesto of Madness’ designed to undermine middle class conservatism through compulsory drug taking and homosexuality? Extraordinary claims by Tories that Corbyn victory would mean ‘enforced permissiveness’.
Read MoreIs Britain’s National Health Service being transformed into a ‘National Death Service’? Activist argues Tories turning NHS into institution for mass euthanasia of poor, disabled and elderly.
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This is what we need to do: start using the right’s tactics to get back at them. Steal all their shitty defences and phrases and use them to justify ourselves every time we call them Nazis and the like. Before you know it, the snowflakes will be whining on about ‘cultural appropriation’…
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Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a reader fears that she will never be rid of a group og ghosts constantly trolling her over her appearance. Can the Rev help?
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Has Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage been converted to the cause of Remain? Has he been secretly brain-washed by EU with aim of sabotaging latest Bexit deal? Or is he victim of black magic plot on part of powerful witch doctor and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn?
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