Author: docsleaze

The Return of Analogue Smut?

Are increasing requirements for intrusive ID and age checks for internet pornography driving users back to traditional, analogue, smut? Entrepreneur announces launch of new line of adult magazines in anticipation of analogue migration, pointing to lack of age checks at local newsagents for top shelf content. Others look forward to return of traditional strip joints, peep shows and sex shops as digital ID checks become more prevalent.

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Immigrants Ate My Granny!

Is Britain suffering outbreaks of cannibalism perpetrated by immigrants? Are our grannies being eaten by asylum seekers and our children kidnapped and fattened up for their cannibal feasts? Bizarre claims by Reform UK candidate spark outrage and accusations that Britain’s extreme right are trying to revive crude racial stereotypes of the seventies characterising people of colour as war-paint wearing savages with bones through their noses.

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Devils From Space?

Are aliens actually demons in disguise? Vice President Vance’s views on true nature of extraterrestrials sparks fundamental changes in US protocols for alien contacts. Emphasis now on conversion to Christianity and exorcism rather than communication. Teams of specially trained priests on standby to exorcise and send back to Hell any alien visitors to US soil.

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Trump’s Sex Files

Just what is President Trump’s motivation for declaring that his administration is to release all government files pertaining to aliens and UFOs? Is he hoping files contain details of former Democrat presidents’ sexual liaisons with aliens salacious enough to distract from Epstein files? Or will files reveal Epstein’s involvement in trafficking underage aliens for exotic sex and further incriminate Trump in extraterrestrial sex scandal?

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Deportation DeLuxe

As Homeland Security claims $70 million luxury jet to be used for deportations, questions raised as to whether Trump administration is about to introduce ‘Deportation DeLuxe’ service to incentivise illegal immigrants to leave the country. US think tank proposes further incentivising deportations by building luxury apartments and resorts for deportees in their countries of origin. Brilliant new policy or more immigration madness?

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The Sacred Art of Sex and Terror

Is a legendary ancient text behind much of the current turmoil in the Middle East? Disturbing claims that terrorists have been employing the sacred art of sex and terror, as laid out in the ‘Hamasutra’. According experts, both Israeli invasion of Gaza and US bombing of Iran have been motivated by attempts to destroy all known copies of the dangerous text which promotes sexual ecstasy through violent terror.

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Hang ‘Em High!

Is it time to put a price on the heads of the Trump Gang? Should we be sending out ‘Wanted: Dead or Alive’ posters of Trump, Vance, Hegseth and the like to every lawman West of the Pecos, with instructions to ‘Hang’Em High’? Because, if the current US administration chooses to act like a bunch of lawless cowboys shooting up the town, then surely it’s time to call them out into the street and see who is quickest on the draw…

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Manifesting Political Destiny?

Is UK right-wing media’s relentless focus on doom and gloom part of an attempt to actually manifest a dystopian reality via minds of its readers? Is it part of plot to create environment for extreme right-wing political victory? Is Labour government using Tibetan monks to manifest counter positive reality via meditation?

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Terror on the Boating Pond

Has Trump administration’s policy of illegally sinking small boats alleged to have been involved in smuggling drugs into US been extended across Atlantic? Alarm at series of apparent US airstrikes on small pleasure boats on UK boating ponds and lakes. Are attacks motivated by need to generate headlines to appease Trump? Fears that UK extremists like Nigel Farage will call on Trump to sink small boats carrying migrants in English Channel.

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The Rise of Manic Nazi Girl

Is AI the future for British fascism? As new ‘Manic Nazi Girl’ meme sweeps social media fears raised that flesh and blood extreme right leaders like Nigel Farage could be rendered obsolete by attractive new AI far right figurehead. Is it time for Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson to go digital with less ugly and offensive AI rendered versions of themselves?

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Headlines of Hate

Are UK’s right-wing press’ outrageous hate-filled headlines causing massive coronaries amongst their readers? As several reader’s heads reportedly explode, allegations of left-wing plot to plant bile-filled headline stories in right-wing media in order to deliberately wipe out potential extreme right-wing voters. Plans for fake extreme right-wing paper to act as ‘Trojan Horse’ to attract and kill off as many Reform UK voters as possible exposed.

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Cognitive Dissonance

Get those ear goggles back on and tune into another selection of unlikely news stories culled from the archives of The Sleaze. This time around Trump terrorises the Mid-West with a ferocious fart – but did he follow through? Toxic masculinity is examined – are the Wokerati deploying mind readers to police men’s ‘forbidden’ thoughts? Plus, a strange reminiscence about a lost Dr Who story.

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Drug Baron Trump?

US Congressman makes sensational claim that Trump’s attack on Venezuela actually about drugs, not oil. Did the administration seize Maduro in order to take control of Venezuela’s alleged ‘narco-State’? Are they planning to import vast quantities of drugs into US disguised as barrels of oil? Amazing claims that Trump administration intends to dump tons of narcotics into US’s poorest areas to pacify rebellious population!

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The Death of the Eurovision Song Contest?

Top showbiz journalist predicts welcome death of Eurovision Song Contest in wake of controversy over Israeli participation. Right-wing press meltdown over MP’s suggestion that event could be saved if Gaza be invited to participate alongside Israel, claiming that potential Palestinian entrants could be Hamas terrorists singing songs celebrating deaths of Israeli children.

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