As a New Year dawns, Doc Sleaze looks back at one of the previous year’s least welcome returns, (apart from Donald Trump’s return to the White House, of course) – the return of open racism to Britain’s public discourse. A bitter disappointment for those of us who remembered racism as a relic of the seventies, banished along with kipper ties and flares…
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A compendium of seasonal sleaze culled from our archives, wrapped up in shiny paper and tied with a bow! Get those ear goggles on and listen to our celebration of the true spirit of Christmas! Featuring celebrity guests and lots of festive fun!
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US announces Santa to be banned from entering US – stands accused of tariff evasion and trafficking illegal immigrants into country on his sleigh. White House proposes new all-American replacement – ‘Daddy Donald Christmas’, backed with ‘naughty or nice’ list compiled by the FBI. Present ordering to be done through online ‘Christmas Portal’ outsourced to highest bidder. Merry Capitalist Christmas!
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As extreme right-wing MP issues non-denial denial of having racially abused fellow students when at school in 1970s, classmates recall him dressing as Nazi Santa, goose-stepping and throwing Nazi salutes at Christmas party. Also allege his complicity in attempt by close associate to build gas chamber as school project. Harmless pranks or racist intimidation?
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What has moved a furious Elon Musk to attack and destroy own high tech cyber suits? Journalist sensationally claims billionaire’s new cybernetic exoskeletons, which promised wearers ability to experience ecstasy of mind-blowing cyber sex couplings – but only for heterosexuals – have been hacked to allow other, non-binary sexual identities to be created and experienced!
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Is heaven too woke? Amid fears that Donald Trump will be barred from liberal heaven due to his conservative views, top Republican slams world’s religions for being too woke, too concerned with liberal values, equal rights and being nice to other people. Proposes takeover of major religions to facilitate reworking of heaven for the ordinary guy – paradise with guns, booze and broads on demand.
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As effluent rains down out of nowhere inside Briton’s houses, top scientist theorises such attacks could be retaliation by dwelllers in parallel universe for secret experiments in our universe to revolutionise waste disposal by creating a ‘Pan Dimensional Poop Chute’ which allows us to take a dump in another dimension.
Could a cross-dimensional crap throwing war be on verge of erupting?
Think-tank proposes radical solution to threat posed by rise of extremist parties at the UK polls – the creation of a shadow, virtual electoral system for their votes, complete with virtual parliament and government. MPs elected under ‘shadow’ election to be placed in virtual political environment where they can enact policies as extreme as they like, without endangering real world. Subverting democracy or saving democracy?
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‘Content is King!’ we used to say with regard to internet search In real life, however, it is context that is king when it comes to information. Without it, ‘news’ quickly becomes propaganda. Which is why the right is so keen to avoid to properly contextualising any issue, from flags to online abuse – take away the context and you can characterise it all as ‘wokeness-gone-mad’ or unpatriotic leftist repression.
Read MoreVincent Price and Peter Lorre crawl out from their catacombs to disinter a trio of sleazy scary stories from the musty archives of ‘The Sleaze’. Put on your ‘ear goggles’ and join them to listen to three tales from the seamier side of horror, a trilogy of sleazy scary stories that will make you shiver with fear and revulsion!
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Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he looks into a case of ‘Halloween Pumpkin Peril’. Has drunken oral sex with a carved pumpkin resulted in persecution by a pumpkin hurling evil spirit? As victim felled by pumpkin to the groin, the Rev investigates.
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Is the right’s opposition to Online Safety Act really based upon their fears that data leaks in age verification systems could expose their use of extreme Nazi-themed porn sites, rather than their avowed claims that it threatens free speech? New theory advanced by notorious left wing commentator triggers outrage amongst Reform UK and Tommy Robinson supporters.
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Top intelligence expert claim swarms of Russian drones invading NATO airspace are here to spy on Western women in hope of snatching illicit nude shots through bedroom and bathroom windows. Makes extraordinary claim that thanks to Ukraine war and sanctions, Moscow is currently suffering a severe pornography shortage. Fresh female nudity desperately needed to relieve deprived troops on front line.
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As ghost of slain right-wing agitator Charlie Kirk prepares to present first posthumous podcast via Ouija board, speculation mounts as to whether he is suitable candidate for sainthood. MAGA faithful fervently search for evidence of miracles performed by Kirk’s spirit despite mooted miraculous gay and trans ‘conversions debunked as hoaxes. Will Charlie Kirk become Church of MAGA’s first saint – the patron saint of hate and bigotry?
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Drive-by shootings by double decker buses! Top TV producer unveils controversial plans to update classic UK TV sitcom ‘On the Buses’, portraying original characters as drug dealers dispensing cocaine from the top deck! Scripts feature shootings, gang warfare and drug driving of buses – all played for laughs in what is described as a dark comedy for contemporary Britain.
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Retired top stench packer sensationally reveals battle to remove the stench of Trump from White House at end of first term, before Biden could move in. Describes challenge of removing stench so toxic it stained the walls of the Oval Office and threatened the health of the stench packers dealing with it. Claims that Trump stench so poisonous that, once packed, it has had to be stored in top secret secure underground nuclear waste facility.
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