Author: docsleaze

Think-tank proposes radical solution to threat posed by rise of extremist parties at the UK polls – the creation of a shadow, virtual electoral system for their votes, complete with virtual parliament and government. MPs elected under ‘shadow’ election to be placed in virtual political environment where they can enact policies as extreme as they like, without endangering real world. Subverting democracy or saving democracy?

Top intelligence expert claim swarms of Russian drones invading NATO airspace are here to spy on Western women in hope of snatching illicit nude shots through bedroom and bathroom windows. Makes extraordinary claim that thanks to Ukraine war and sanctions, Moscow is currently suffering a severe pornography shortage. Fresh female nudity desperately needed to relieve deprived troops on front line.

As ghost of slain right-wing agitator Charlie Kirk prepares to present first posthumous podcast via Ouija board, speculation mounts as to whether he is suitable candidate for sainthood. MAGA faithful fervently search for evidence of miracles performed by Kirk’s spirit despite mooted miraculous gay and trans ‘conversions debunked as hoaxes. Will Charlie Kirk become Church of MAGA’s first saint – the patron saint of hate and bigotry?

Retired top stench packer sensationally reveals battle to remove the stench of Trump from White House at end of first term, before Biden could move in. Describes challenge of removing stench so toxic it stained the walls of the Oval Office and threatened the health of the stench packers dealing with it. Claims that Trump stench so poisonous that, once packed, it has had to be stored in top secret secure underground nuclear waste facility.

Is the government planning to monitor heterosexual men’s sexual fantasies for illegal acts? Are you about to face prosecution for school uniform fantasies? Extraordinary claims of top British influencer who also complains that modern masculinity being undermined as men can no longer be sure that the models they see on porn sites are really women, not just transsexuals or transvestites who will ruin their sexual daydreams.

Is the Labour government planning to house asylum seekers and immigrants arriving on small boats in our garden sheds and closets? Do human rights laws mean we can’t stop them from eating our pets and performing human sacrifices because they are part of their culture and therefore protected? Bizarre claims of Reform MP strike chord with many supporters as his meteoric rise in popularity has Nigel Farage fearing for his job!

Was Jeffrey Epstein merely a media construct created by the left to try and discredit Trump? As picture emerges of Trump apparently jumping out of a cake at Epstein birthday party, president’s supporters go into full denial mode, declaring that there was no Epstein, therefore no list and no Epstein island. But will shouting ‘fake news’ placate Trump’s followers?