Top Psychic Investigator’s New Book Tells of Night of Fruit and Vegetable Based Halloween Horror! Were Terrifying Supernatural Disturbances Result of Haunted House Being Built on Site of Market Garden Notorious for Plant Abuse?
Read MoreDid Crazy Scientist Chef Heston Blumenthal Create a Culinary Monster in the Kitchens of his Restaurant? Local Village in Grip of Terror as Celebrated Eccentric TV Chef’s Latest Haute Cuisine Experiment Goes Awry!
Read MoreNo Jiggery Popery Here, Thank You!
Read MoreFormer Rat Pack Member Reveals Ol’ Blue Eyes’ Obsession with Penis Enlargement! Crooner Driven by Envy of Sammy Davis Jr’s Schlong!
Read MoreElderly Racist Claims Black Neighbours Subjecting Him to Campaign of Voodoo Terror! Condemns Police for ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ as They Refuse to Take Allegations of Black Magic Ceremonies at Local Gospel Church Seriously!
Read MoreCoalition Government Revives Piracy to Cut Defence Costs! Ministers Claim Privateering is ‘Big Society’ in Action as Armed Yachts and Car Ferries Seize Thousands of Tons of Foreign Shipping!
Read MoreFormer Cleaner to the Stars Reveals All About Former Celebrity Clients’ Lack of Hygiene! Lifestyles of the Rich and Filthy Exposed!-
Read MoreAre Britain’s Spies Going Mad? As Scandals involving Cross-Dressing Secret Agents and Deranged Analysts Rock Intelligence Community, Fears Raised that Rampant Insanity in UK’s Secret Services Could be Threatening National Security!
Read MoreOutrage as Female Aide ‘Outs’ Top Tory Minister as Straight! Fears that Revelation of MP’s Closet Heterosexuality Could Undermine Coalition With Liberal Democrats!
Read MoreAre Aliens About to Take the Earth From Behind? As Thousands of Flying Saucer Contactees Prepare to Bare Behinds in Anticipation of Close Encounters, UFOlogists Warn of THreat Posed by Extraterrestial Sex Tourists Out to Exploit Naive Earthlings!
Read MoreDid the US Army Pay Soldiers to Stare at Pornography? New Film Claims Existence of Top Secret ‘Sex Ops’ Programme With Aim of Creating Cadre of Assassins Capable of Remotely Killing Using Tantric Sex Techniques!
Read MoreWe’re Not Going on a Summer Holiday
Read MorePublic Outrage as Newspaper Proprietor Reveals Secret Experiments to Rip Headlines Directly From Readers’ Minds! Brains of Comatose Subjects Stimulated With Electrodes to Produce More Relevant Content!
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Attempting to avoid gold diggers following his lottery win, local radio DJ Mark Flakers and his friend and Marc Donnelly become involved with a gang of counterfeiters led by Blackpool mayor Fat Harry White and the mysterious, but beautiful, Miss Laycock…
Read MoreConfusion as London Mayor Boris Johnson Suggests Buttock Skiing and Horse Pummelling as New Events for 2012 Olympics! International Olympic Committee Ignore Calls to Modernise Traditional Sports to Make Them More Relevant to Modern British Youth!
Read MoreHas Top Pornographer Discovered Entirely New Sexual Position? Believes That Newly Discovered Technique Will Revitalise Adult Industry Dominated by Extreme Sex as Customers Grow Bored With Conventional Porn!
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