Author: docsleaze

Going Down in Flames

Is Sunak’s Tory government aiming to hasten global apocalypse with its reckless anti-green policies? Are the Tories’ increasingly extreme right-wing policies on everything from the environment to human rights the result of a diabolical pact which will guarantee a special self-governing Tory Hell if they do Satan’s work and engineer end of world?

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Stop the Saucers!

Are flying saucers the new ‘small boats’ in the fight against illegal immigration to the UK? UFO expert claims spaceships dropping off huge numbers of literal illegal aliens by night in UK. Are creatures from outer space stealing our jobs, benefits and women? Counter claims of secret government deal with aliens to take human illegal immigrants off-world for ‘processing’.

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Naked Possession

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he faces the problem of a man who claims that the sexual outrages, including indecent exposure and bestiality, he is accused of committing are the result of possession by the evil spirit of a sex offender!

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Attacking the Attack Dogs

Are Tories organising fights between right-wing Tory MPs and dangerous dogs for money? Government denies ‘XL Bully’ dog died of its injuries after bout with Suella Braverman in secret arena. Should extremist Tory MPs be muzzled instead of so called dangerous dogs?

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Driven to Madness

Plagued by idiots driving BMWs, the Doc ponders just why people driving German cars think they are the road’s ‘Master Race’, above such trivialities as speed limits , braking distances and road safety. And just how do those so-called ‘performance cars’ produce that irritating exhaust note?

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Everything But The Truth

Tabloid causes outrage with misogynistic, homophobic and racist headlines. Editor claims newspaper simply reflecting its readers true feelings instead of trying to disguise them with euphemisms. Opines that paper should be praised for its honesty instead of being condemned by hypocritical rivals.

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Fanning the Flames

Are a gang of international arsonists traveling around world setting wild fires to provide fake evidence of climate change? Extraordinary claims from controversial ‘climatologist’ that climate change actually being faked by groups of saboteurs employed by evil green energy lobby, out to discredit carbon-based energy.

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Just Drink Oil

Should children be drinking a glass of oil a day for their health? Controversial climate denier claims oil-related pollution actually beneficial to human health, welcomes UK premier Sunak’s commitment to more oil production and fewer urban low-emission zones. Alleges that more pollution would have stopped pandemic, reduced childhood illness rates.

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Brainwashing Britain

Sinister cult leader Rishi Sunak announces plans to brainwash Britain into conformity. ‘Running down Britain’ to be classified as warning sign of possible ‘radicalisation’. Critics to be subjected to ‘deradicalisation’ process to impress true British values of bigotry, xenophobia, sexism and authoritarianism upon them.

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Bare Arsed Lies

Have the likes of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump been taken roughly from behind by Vladimir Putin? Wild and unfounded social media speculation follows publication of vague claims of sexual abuse by unnamed parties against other unnamed parties in world of global politics. Irresponsible journalism or scoop of the century?

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The Billionaire Euthanasia Club

Is there a conspiracy to euthanise the world’s billionaires under cover of extreme exploration? Outrage as controversial conspiracy theorist advances bizarre thesis in wake of ‘Titan’ submarine tragedy. Claims that very expensive extreme tourism is actually honey trap designed by shadowy group to lure super wealthy to their deaths.

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Ageing Disgracefully

Is the Doc getting old? It’s a subject that’s been preoccupying me somewhat of late – I’ve recently been referred to as ‘old’ by others, yet I don’t feel, or even look old. Despite this, I’m besieged by junk mail inviting me to move to a retirement flat or plan my funeral – I’m not even a pensioner yet!

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Stop The Boats!

Are refugee boats being sunk by rogue submarine operated by secret cabal of right-wing anti-immigration politicians and activists? Incredible claims that private groups have taken government’s ‘Stop the Boats’ slogan literally, as Nigel Farage denies allegations he was seen captaining U-Boat in Channel.

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Fear The Queer?

Should we fear the sexually diverse? Small town US newspaper proprietor launches extraordinary campaign against sexual and gender diversity practices at major US firms. Claims it is part of long term plot by unholy aliens to takeover earth by normalising gay sex, thereby wiping out humanity by halting sexual reproduction.

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Political Monsters

Are top Tories being harassed and victimised by monsters? Claims that Boris Johnson menaced by The Blob while Mothra held responsible for Suella Braverman’s recent speeding conviction. Was Liz Truss’ economic master plan destroyed by Gorgo eating the Treasury?

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Attack of the Invisible Lesbians

‘Lesbian Visibility Week’ causes panic amongst US right-wingers, raising fears that invisible lesbians have been walking among unsuspecting Americans for years. Calls to protect American women from sexually rampant unseen lesbians who could be lurking in any elevator, changing room or bathroom.

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