Town calls for Halloween to be banned after drugged up ‘Trick or Treaters’ go on homicidal rampage after being given hallucinogens disguised as sweets. Further mayhem caused by Suella Braverman-masked teenagers harassing immigrants and asylum seekers with threats of deportation if Halloween treats not forthcoming.
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When is a packet of chocolate covered peanuts not a packet of chocolate covered peanuts? An impulse purchase in Tesco Metro leads Doc Sleaze into the labyrinth that is the madness of modern shopping when the peanuts he tries to pay for turn out to be non-existent, according to the shop whose shelves they are on.
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Is a phantom flasher terrorising an English town? Are local children being subjected to spectral exposure by a vengeful spirit? As local vigilantes dig up local graveyards in search of deceased sex offender, spirit itself contacts medium to protest innocence of peadophilia in life, claiming post-mortem antics are payback against his former persecutors.
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Britain’s top ghost hunter discusses his most mind-boggling cases. From toilet-blocking phantom stools in Trowbridge to the ghostly talking anus of Plymouth and the moaning nun of Minehead, our leading paranormal investigator explains why restless ghosts are moving into our modern, new build, houses.
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Is Sunak’s Tory government aiming to hasten global apocalypse with its reckless anti-green policies? Are the Tories’ increasingly extreme right-wing policies on everything from the environment to human rights the result of a diabolical pact which will guarantee a special self-governing Tory Hell if they do Satan’s work and engineer end of world?
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Are flying saucers the new ‘small boats’ in the fight against illegal immigration to the UK? UFO expert claims spaceships dropping off huge numbers of literal illegal aliens by night in UK. Are creatures from outer space stealing our jobs, benefits and women? Counter claims of secret government deal with aliens to take human illegal immigrants off-world for ‘processing’.
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Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he faces the problem of a man who claims that the sexual outrages, including indecent exposure and bestiality, he is accused of committing are the result of possession by the evil spirit of a sex offender!
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Are Tories organising fights between right-wing Tory MPs and dangerous dogs for money? Government denies ‘XL Bully’ dog died of its injuries after bout with Suella Braverman in secret arena. Should extremist Tory MPs be muzzled instead of so called dangerous dogs?
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Plagued by idiots driving BMWs, the Doc ponders just why people driving German cars think they are the road’s ‘Master Race’, above such trivialities as speed limits , braking distances and road safety. And just how do those so-called ‘performance cars’ produce that irritating exhaust note?
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Tabloid causes outrage with misogynistic, homophobic and racist headlines. Editor claims newspaper simply reflecting its readers true feelings instead of trying to disguise them with euphemisms. Opines that paper should be praised for its honesty instead of being condemned by hypocritical rivals.
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Are a gang of international arsonists traveling around world setting wild fires to provide fake evidence of climate change? Extraordinary claims from controversial ‘climatologist’ that climate change actually being faked by groups of saboteurs employed by evil green energy lobby, out to discredit carbon-based energy.
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Should children be drinking a glass of oil a day for their health? Controversial climate denier claims oil-related pollution actually beneficial to human health, welcomes UK premier Sunak’s commitment to more oil production and fewer urban low-emission zones. Alleges that more pollution would have stopped pandemic, reduced childhood illness rates.
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Sinister cult leader Rishi Sunak announces plans to brainwash Britain into conformity. ‘Running down Britain’ to be classified as warning sign of possible ‘radicalisation’. Critics to be subjected to ‘deradicalisation’ process to impress true British values of bigotry, xenophobia, sexism and authoritarianism upon them.
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Have the likes of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump been taken roughly from behind by Vladimir Putin? Wild and unfounded social media speculation follows publication of vague claims of sexual abuse by unnamed parties against other unnamed parties in world of global politics. Irresponsible journalism or scoop of the century?
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Is there a conspiracy to euthanise the world’s billionaires under cover of extreme exploration? Outrage as controversial conspiracy theorist advances bizarre thesis in wake of ‘Titan’ submarine tragedy. Claims that very expensive extreme tourism is actually honey trap designed by shadowy group to lure super wealthy to their deaths.
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Is the Doc getting old? It’s a subject that’s been preoccupying me somewhat of late – I’ve recently been referred to as ‘old’ by others, yet I don’t feel, or even look old. Despite this, I’m besieged by junk mail inviting me to move to a retirement flat or plan my funeral – I’m not even a pensioner yet!
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