Author: docsleaze

Double Dealing Devil?

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a worried public figure fears their pact with the Devil for unlimited sex, power and wealth is being reneged upon as he finds his popularity, especially with women, and undeserved success are slipping away. Can the Rev help?

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Untrue Crime

Have ‘True Crime’ podcasters run out of crimes to investigate? Wrongful conviction in unsolved murder case exposes how popular podcasters made up evidence to gain popularity. Allegations that other podcasters actually committed the bizarre crimes they ‘investigated’ and framed innocent people in order to create ‘solution’.

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Conspiracy Wars

World of conspiracy theories rocked by bitter feud as top UK conspiracy guru blasts Q Anon followers as ;nutters’. Claims their theories actually part of Deep State plot to discredit Trump by associating him with crackpots. Top Q Anon populariser ripostes with accusation that UK conspiracies are old hat, ineffective, anti-Semitic claptrap.

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Three Line Whipping

Is new Tory sleaze scandal about to break? Mysterious death of MP who took ‘three line whipping’ threatens to expose ‘parliamentary porn’ racket. Dead Conservative member allegedly illegally rented out parliamentary office and House of Commons chamber for explicit porn movie shoots.

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Blue Energy

Can Boris Johnson’s rippling buttocks power half of London as he has sex? Top scientist proposes radical plan to use Tory sexual misconduct to generate green electricity. New technology will enable Tory MPs bondage sessions to produce energy as they are whipped.

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Selling the Sleaze

I don’t do enough merchandising. But what sort of merchandising would be appropriate for The Sleaze? Colouring books for the kiddies or sleazy calendars? Maybe pop-up books illustrating our sleaziest stories or life-size inflatables depicting characters like ‘Kick Ass Jesus’ would be more appropriate…

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Beast From the Bowels of Britain

Is the UK government’s policy of allowing raw sewage to be dumped into the country’s rivers creating deadly mutated beasts spawned from the bowels of Britain? Scientists warn Britons could soon face terror of being pursued by huge bipedal turds. Giant toilet rolls prepared as defensive measures.

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Hypno-Gove!

Is Michael Gove using his hypnotic powers for evil? Journalist claims top Tory using mesmeric gaze to get women to undress, delude voters into voting for Brexit and convincing nation that Boris Johnson is actually Prime Minister. Allegations dismissed as ridiculous by mesmerised media.

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Smut on the Beach

As environmentalist battle to clean up latest porn spillage to hit Britain’s beaches, experts ask if vast quantities of contraband European porn washing up on the coast is result of Brexit? Tory MPS. meanwhile, propose temporary visa scheme to alleviate current Brexit-inspired shortages of continental sex workers and mistresses.

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Think of the Arsonists

Are arsonists the forgotten victims of Britain’s petrol panic buying crisis? Expert claims lack of petrol supplies causing significant reduction in deliberate fires – costing professional arsonists thousands in fees. As arsonists turn to alternative accelarants, fears that shortages of meths will cause anguish for down and outs.

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Mad Fundamentalist Bastards

New fundamentalist terror group vows to be maddest mad bastards in world of terrorism. Dissatisfied with ‘too liberal’ approach of groups like Taliban, Mad Fundamentalist Bastards promises more extreme and senseless atrocities in the name of Holiness.

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Dangerous Driving

Will government plans to make Heavy Goods Vehicle licences easier to obtain result in increased carnage on Britain’s roads? Safety campaigners fear diluting the qualifications will result in dangerous drivers, terrorists and the medically unfit joining the sex offenders, serial killers and morons currently behind the wheels of Britain’s trucks.

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Whatever It Is, We’re Against It!

Are the mobs of ill-informed idiots swarming onto the streets to protest non-existent lockdowns and life-saving vaccines an analogy for modern Britain? They are clearly furious about something, but they just aren’t sure what, exactly – but whatever it is, they want it stopped…

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The Decline and Fall of Dracula

Did Dracula end his days as a drug addled vagrant on the streets of London? New book claims legendary bloodsucker brought low after imbibing blood of coked up City types during 1980s. Also alleges Frankenstein’s monster now a cripple due to dodgy organ transplants and mummy hit with reincarnation restraining order.

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Secret Rulers of the Premier League

Does the UK media actually control football transfers and decide Premier League title? Astonishing claims by top tabloid sports journalist that secret cabal of soccer writers create football’s narrative rather than reporting facts. Alleges similar cabal controls Britain’s political narrative, secretly deciding election and leadership contest outcomes.

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Hate Island

New reality TV show draws criticism for bringing together representatives of various extremist ideologies on ‘Hate Island’ in order to see if they can form liaisons. Viewers get to vote on ‘best’ and ‘worst’ extremists to find winning couple. Passions run high as Klan member uses blazing cross to warn Nation of Islam representative off of relationship with QAnon supporter.

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