Author: docsleaze

Slim The Ebola Way

Controversial Medic’s Use of Ebola as Slimming Agent for Celebrity Clients Condemned by Experts. Allegations that West African Aid Effort Being Hampered by Celebrities Seeking Rapid Weight Loss.

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Save Our Celebrities!

Taxing Times as Britain’s Celebrities Strike Back Against Oppressive ‘Mansion Tax’. Celebrity Riots and Strike Action Predicted as Rich and Famous March in Protest at Threats to their Wealth and Privilege!

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Collateral Damage

Did Combat Trauma Cause Ex-Soldier’s Deadly Gun Attack on Neighbours’ Guy Fawkes Party ? Claims Fireworks Caused Flashback to Afghanistan. Did Supernatural Trauma Cause Drunk’s Attack on Trick or Treaters? Claims Costumes Caused Flashback to Transylvania Monster Attack.

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Feeling Uncharitable

The idea that just because something is for charity, you can get away with serving up any old shit, seems to be prevalent amongst celebrities these days. It displays an incredibly patronising attitude on the part of the participating celebrities- if you want us to donate money, then at least have the decency to put some effort into entertaining us.

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Eating Poverty

Are Benefits Cuts Forcing Britain’s Poor into Cannibalism? Campaigner Makes Shocking Claim After Resident of Welsh Homeless Hostel Caught Eating Neighbour!

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The Haunting of Simon Cowell

Panic at X Factor as Producers Hold Seances to Try and Contact Simon Cowell after Judge Vanishes Following Exorcism at His Mansion! Has Supercilious Pop Impresario Been Exorcised by Mistake, or Kidnapped by Evil Spirits?

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The Ghost Gropers

Does Saying Jimmy Savile’s Name Five Times Summon Sex Offender’s Ghost? Fears that Britain’s Youth Putting Themselves in Supernatural Sex Peril as Dangerous Halloween Craze Sweeps Nation!

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Benefits of Terror

Workfare Takes Sinister Turn as Benefits Claimants Forced onto Placement with Overseas Aid Charity Taken Hostage by ISIS! Unemployed Must Choose Between Losing Benefits or Losing Heads to Islamic Extremists!

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Parliamentary Nudes

Government in Disarray as Stolen Nude Photos of Top Tory Ministers Released Online! Identity of Hackers Behind Naked Tory Scandal a Mystery – Muslim Extremists Suspected!

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Witches of Westminster

Government Rocked by Witchcraft Allegations After Cameron Accused of Using Black Magic to Influence Scottish Independence Referendum! Claims that British Politics Rife with Witches!

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Better Together?

Has Government Deliberately Sabotaged ‘Better Together’ Campaign? Allegations of Plans for Mass Deportations of Scots in England Following ‘Yes’ Vote to Create Jobs for the English, Cut Welfare and Reduce Crime!

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Naked Fame

Is there some kind of ‘dark web’ of celebrity naked picture sharing? Do they happily swap nude pictures, marvelling at how perfect they are and how this is another privilege bestowed by fame: the exclusive opportunity to see Scarlet Johansson’s knockers or Brad Pitt’s cock in all its alleged glory?

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The Dead That Crap

Aid Worker Claims West African Ebola Outbreak a Fake! Alleges Global Scientific Community is Actually Covering Up Plague of Zombies!

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Cult of Isis

Have Muslim Extremists Sought Supernatural Assistance from Ancient Egyptian Goddess to Conquer Iraq? Did Hitler Invoke Cult of Isis to Send Living Mummys Against Red Army? Historian’s Bizarre Claims Provoke Outrage!

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