A Hundred Years on Benefits
Government Fears that Increased Longevity Could Result in Centenarian Dole Scroungers Undermining Economy. Plans Policies to Ensure Increased Life Expectancy Restricted to White Middle Class People.
Read MoreAuthor: docsleaze
Nothing is Real
Everything you see in the media is faked, manufactured by those mysterious ‘powers that be’ in pursuit of their sinister and secretive agenda. At least, that’s what those crackpot conspiracy theorists I highlighted in an earlier editorial would have us all believe.
Read MoreInhuman Bondage
Did UK Government Outsource Torture of Terror Suspects to S and M Dungeons and Bondage Parlours? Ex-Spy Claims References to UK Sex Industry Involvement in Torture Redacted From Senate Report!
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An Austerity Xmas
Is Iain Duncan Smith Imposing Standard ‘Austerity Christmas’ on Benefits Claimants? Incredible Claims of Work and Pensions Secretary Stealing ;Excessive’ Presents and Destroying ‘Too Extravagant’ Decorations!
Read MoreSlim The Ebola Way
Controversial Medic’s Use of Ebola as Slimming Agent for Celebrity Clients Condemned by Experts. Allegations that West African Aid Effort Being Hampered by Celebrities Seeking Rapid Weight Loss.
Read MoreSave Our Celebrities!
Taxing Times as Britain’s Celebrities Strike Back Against Oppressive ‘Mansion Tax’. Celebrity Riots and Strike Action Predicted as Rich and Famous March in Protest at Threats to their Wealth and Privilege!
Read MoreCollateral Damage
Did Combat Trauma Cause Ex-Soldier’s Deadly Gun Attack on Neighbours’ Guy Fawkes Party ? Claims Fireworks Caused Flashback to Afghanistan. Did Supernatural Trauma Cause Drunk’s Attack on Trick or Treaters? Claims Costumes Caused Flashback to Transylvania Monster Attack.
Read MoreFeeling Uncharitable
The idea that just because something is for charity, you can get away with serving up any old shit, seems to be prevalent amongst celebrities these days. It displays an incredibly patronising attitude on the part of the participating celebrities- if you want us to donate money, then at least have the decency to put some effort into entertaining us.
Read MoreEating Poverty
Are Benefits Cuts Forcing Britain’s Poor into Cannibalism? Campaigner Makes Shocking Claim After Resident of Welsh Homeless Hostel Caught Eating Neighbour!
Read MoreRoyal Baby Snatchers
Is Kate Middleton’s Pregnancy Faked to Distract Public From Global Crises? Incredible Claims that Working Class Children Abducted to Provide ‘Royal Babies’!
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The Haunting of Simon Cowell
Panic at X Factor as Producers Hold Seances to Try and Contact Simon Cowell after Judge Vanishes Following Exorcism at His Mansion! Has Supercilious Pop Impresario Been Exorcised by Mistake, or Kidnapped by Evil Spirits?
Read MoreThe Ghost Gropers
Does Saying Jimmy Savile’s Name Five Times Summon Sex Offender’s Ghost? Fears that Britain’s Youth Putting Themselves in Supernatural Sex Peril as Dangerous Halloween Craze Sweeps Nation!
Read MoreBenefits of Terror
Workfare Takes Sinister Turn as Benefits Claimants Forced onto Placement with Overseas Aid Charity Taken Hostage by ISIS! Unemployed Must Choose Between Losing Benefits or Losing Heads to Islamic Extremists!
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Parliamentary Nudes
Government in Disarray as Stolen Nude Photos of Top Tory Ministers Released Online! Identity of Hackers Behind Naked Tory Scandal a Mystery – Muslim Extremists Suspected!
Read MoreWitches of Westminster
Government Rocked by Witchcraft Allegations After Cameron Accused of Using Black Magic to Influence Scottish Independence Referendum! Claims that British Politics Rife with Witches!
Read MoreBetter Together?
Has Government Deliberately Sabotaged ‘Better Together’ Campaign? Allegations of Plans for Mass Deportations of Scots in England Following ‘Yes’ Vote to Create Jobs for the English, Cut Welfare and Reduce Crime!
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