Author: docsleaze

Santa Strikes Back

Violence Erupts as Britain’s Striking Santas Clash With Police on the Picket Lines! Union Claims Businesses Endangering Public by Employing Perverts and Sex Offenders as Unofficial Father Christmases!

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Terror Under Wraps

Top Policeman Warns of Imminent Mummy Attacks on Britain as Al Qaeda Recruits Egyptian High Priests! Tony Blair Authorises Detention of All Fez Wearing Foreigners to Combat ‘Credible new Threat’!

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Fat of the Land

London’s Restaurants Under Attack From Exploding ‘Suicide Eaters’! Obscenely Obese Militants Gorge Themselves to Death in Protest at Society’s Treatment of the Overweight!

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Tiny Terrors

Barney the Dinosaur Beheaded as Little Blue Insurgents Retaliate Against US Bombing of Smurfland! Further GI Joe Casualties Expected as Father Abraham Co-ordinates Terror Campaign From Mountain Lair!

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George’s Big Fat Gay Wedding

New Scandal Rocks White House as Shocked America Learns of Bush and Cheney’s Secret Gay Marriage! Aides Claim Wedding Just Political Ploy, But Public DEmand to Know: ‘Was Bush the Bitch’?

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Flushed With Fear

Occultist’s Possessed Toilet Terrorises Hotel – Foul Odours and Things That Go Splash in the Night Drive Out Guests and Leave Staff Traumatised!

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House of Wax

Young Women Left Hairless and Shiny as Crazed Fiend Waxes Victims! Top Beautician Suspected as Madman Holds City in Grip of Terror!

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Suburban Cannibals

New Documentary Exposes Britain’s Suburban Cannibals! Eating Human Flesh the New Culinary Fad From Hampstead Dinner Parties to Ten Downing Street!

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National Affront

British Nationalists Claiming Asylum as New Anti-Terror Laws Used to Deport Extremists! Far Right Turns to Islam in Quest For New Ethnic-Minority Friendly Image!

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I Married a Homosexual From Outer Space (Bardache, 1985)

Virile amateur rugby player Tom Tranny’s stag night takes a turn for the worse when he finds himself chained naked to a lampost and abandoned by his friends, just as violent thunderstorm breaks. Facing the prospect of a long, cold, wet and humiliating night, he unexpectedly sees the possibility of salvation when he spots the stripping ‘traffic warden’ from his stag party approaching him. His relief rapidly turns to horror when a flash of lightning reveals the stripper’s true form – an alien drag queen! Sadly, despite this brisk opening, what should have been a tense paranoid thriller along the lines of The Stepford Wives finds itself fatally undermined by its giveaway title…

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Barmy Army?

Are Britain’s Soldiers Out of Control? Allegations of Brutality Against Civilian Population as Troops Storm British Police Station to Rescue ‘Drunk and Disorderly’ Colleagues!

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Making Crime Pay

Outrage as Police Terror Hot Line Serves up Phone Sex! Has Out-Sourcing of Police Support Services Gone Too Far?

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Sleazy in the Big Easy

Cuba to Send Hundreds of Pimps to Hurricane-Stricken New Orleans to Assist City’s Economic Recovery! Local Scum Fear Foreign Takeover as Overseas Whores, Perverts, Beggars and Drug Dealers Pour into Big Easy Under Guise of ‘Humanitarian Aid’!

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Nudists From Outer Space

Citizens Forcibly Stripped in the Street as Wave of Nude Riots Hit Britain! Are Alien Naturists to Blame? Contactees Tell of Bizarre Encounters With Men in Black Preaching ‘Peace Through Nudity’!

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