Top psychotherapist expresses fears for mental health of two former Tory Prime Ministers in light of Boris Johnson’s bizarre memoirs and Liz Truss’ claims of persecution by ‘transgender Mafia’. Former aides blast Johnson’s unreliable memoirs for inaccuracy, claiming he wanted to send SAS to raid Netherlands for weed and prostitutes, not vaccines.
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Should mad doctors and their dangerous experimental procedures be available on the NHS? Health chiefs accused of clinical insanity for forcing patients to go private for treatments including penis transplants, full fur grafts and radioactive blood transfusions as private clinic providing such procedures accused of being front for Nazi human experiments.
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Did President Biden die in office before being resurrected as a zombie by Voodoo High Priestess Kamala Harris? Latest bizarre claims from Trump camp as campaign strategists claim Haitian immigrants are using Voodoo rites to raise army of the living dead which they will unleash against white Americans!
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Does pornography pose an existential threat to the US? Clergyman calls on Trump campaign to commit to banning porn. claiming young Americans spend too much time masturbating over porn, resulting in falling birth rates. Fears that immigrants are out-producing Americans in baby stakes, raising spectre of Americans becoming minority in own country.
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As the right-wing press tries to rewrite current events before our very eyes, in order to evade their own culpability for recent political violence, the Doc ventures into ‘The Editing Suite of History’ to look at how the establishment have rewritten and re-edited history to their advantage…
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Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he looks at the strange case of ‘The Curse of the Insatiable Sex Fiend’. Is a husband’s sudden infidelity with multiple women the result of contact with a cursed mummified penis? The Rev investigates.
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Top British Fascist dismisses far right rioters as ‘slobs’, blaming their failure on lack of discipline and dress sense. Slams rioters for betraying true fascist tradition of being best dressed and coiffured extremists. Infamous Nazi war criminal agrees, arguing if you claim to be ‘Master Race’, you must look and dress like a ‘Master Race’, not a drunken rabble.
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Are UK’s far right riots down to an outbreak of extreme idiocy? Top academic opines that country currently has surfeit of idiots susceptible to unattributed right-wing propaganda and racist rhetoric from public figures seeking to ferment unrest. Rioters claim that violence actually provoked by ‘woke’ police preventing them from burning down mosques.
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What lies behind series of attacks on fishermen by mutated fish? As woman swimmer has bottom slapped by aquatic sex maniac’s tail and angler sexually assaulted by giant man-fish, marine biologist speculates that hormones in sewage spilled into sea could be behind creation of sex-obsessed mutant fish.
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Fugitive ex-Marine claims Trump assassination attempt faked – alleges that he shot Trump months ago, but both targets were actually inflatable decoys! Other conspiracy theorists assert that whole thing pre-recorded in film studio – like the fake moon landings – with crisis actors. Question remains – if only fake Trump targeted, where is the real Trump?
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Ever had one of those week’s when you feel that outside entities are getting way too intrusive with regard to your life? Unsolicited invitations to drug trials, to buy a retirement home and plan your own funeral, along with equally unsolicited banking advice, leave Doc Sleaze wondering if any aspect of our lives is still private and exempt from monetisation…
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Are desperate Tories planning to take another leaf out of Trump play book by trying to discredit election result? Top academic claims they might follow example of US Republicans and claim that voters ‘hijacked’ by phantom polling stations or even set up fake polling stations themselves on election day, in order to divert non-Tory votes.
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Religious hate group denounced by government revealed as limited company run for profit by wealthy Tory donors. Did Tory government invent security threat in order to engender culture of fear in run up to election? Newspaper investigation claims whole religious cult faked in order to pursue government’s ‘Culture Wars’.
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Struggling right-wing news channel’s new reality TV show puts ordinary family into midst of wartime Britain complete with rationing and deprivation. Family involved complains they were traumatised as TV company went to extreme lengths for realism, including bombing their street, and strafing their grandmother with live ammunition.
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British online monkey torturers outraged at outsourcing of their activities to cheaper sadists in Far East by organisers of online monkey torture rings. Rejecting allegations that use of baby monkeys implies cowardice on their part, top UK torturer claims Far Eastern torturers simply not zealous enough, failing to deliver value for money to customers.
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The Irish/UK conflict over illegal immigrants crossing the border from Northern Ireland to the Republic has escalated into an actual shit-throwing contest. Drive by shit flingings in North blamed on Irish militants protesting at strain the extra crap is putting on Dublin’s sewage system, while Northern Irish paramilitaries retaliate by firing canned shit across border.
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