Fake Hate

A religious cult promoted by the government as being a threat to democracy and the British way of life has been revealed by a newspaper investigation to actually be a limited company run for profit, with two major Tory donors as its only two shareholders. “For months now, we’ve had Rishi Sunak and his ministers telling us how dangerous these people are, how they are brainwashing our youth and sponsoring terror, but it turns out that it is all a sham,” explains Daily Norks investigative journalist Jim Shackles. “Two of their biggest supporters are actually behind the whole thing – I don’t think that there can be any doubt that they’ve done this at the behest of the government!” In the run up to the election, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak had repeatedly ramped up his rhetoric with regard to the threats to the UK’s security which were facing the country and how only he and the Tories could guarantee public safety. In addition to the threat of war from the likes of Russia, the government had been placing great emphasis upon the threat from terror organisations and religiously inspired extremists, with the Church of Janus, a hitherto unknown sect, being increasingly mentioned. “It seems obvious that the government felt the need to create a new, entirely fake, threat, which it could control, in order to engender the atmosphere of fear they clearly think is necessary for them to win re-election,” opines the reporter. “It’s a quite shameless attempt to manipulate the electorate.”

But just why would the government find it necessary to create a fake threat when there are already so many real potential security threats in existence? “The key lies in the simultaneous downplaying of the threat posed by so-called Islamic extremists,” muses Professor Bob Mincer of the Rotherhithe Animal Husbandry Institute’s Department of Electoral Affairs. “It’s clear that they wanted to divert attention from the idea that Muslims and by extension all ‘brown people’ are crazy fanatics who are going to murder all of us white people in our beds. But only after they’ve raped every man, woman and child.” Having spent more than a decade building up Muslim extremism as the most potent threat to the very fabric of British society, why would the government now be trying to backtrack? “Well, this sort of thing was all very well while the Tories were being led by white people, but once Rishi Sunak took over as leader, they had a problem,” says Mincer. “Not only had they indoctrinated large swathes of the population into believing that people who looked like him were all terrorists, but the hardcore of the Tory party’s membership – the ‘little Englander blue rinse brigade’ are dyed in the wool bigots anyway. I mean, just look at the way that Sunak had to avoid a membership vote, relying instead on being the only candidate to survive the MPs’ vote in order to secure the leadership!”

The academic also believes that the alleged nature of the Church of Janus is highly significant. “According to the government, it is run by a bunch of white degenerates from Eastern Europe probably Slavs, but they keep that bit vague – who are intent upon corrupting our youth. It retains the idea of foreigners being untrustworthy and evil – which is always important as part of their whole schtick is that us Brits are inherently decent – while neatly tying into the whole post-Ukrainian invasion villainous Russian business,” he notes. “Plus, it evokes the more generalised demonisation of Eastern European migrant workers that was peddled during Cameron’s time in Number Ten.” The sect’s supposed activities also play into the current ‘Culture Wars’ that the government has been pursuing as part of its policy of setting various sections of society against each other in order to deflect attention from its own failures, contends Mincer. “All of the propaganda claimed that they were preaching some kind of sexual degeneracy, claiming that gender was an oppressive construct imposed by the patriarchy, while sex itself was biological tyranny, with nature forcing people to conform to sexual stereotypes according a quirk of genetics,” he says. “Gender and sex should change according to the requirements of the sex – hence the claim that they were forcibly performing not just gender re-assignment, but also ‘conversion therapy’ where, instead of gays being converted back to ‘heterosexuality’, the opposite occurred. This was clearly analogous to the ‘radicalisation’ that ‘Islamic Militants’, the government’s previous bogeyman, had supposedly been practising.”

The, entirely fictional as it turned out, activities of the Church of Janus, were clearly designed to demonise the entire LGBTQ spectrum, Mincer claims. “It’s the only prejudices left that seem entirely acceptable to the right – unlike race, say, homosexuality. transgenderism or transsexuality can be passed off as ‘against nature’, ‘abnormal’ or perverted,” he explains. “Besides, they’d flogged all their other targets – single mothers, the disabled, immigrants, Muslims, benefit claimants and the like – to death over the preceding fourteen years. Moreover, race, religion and even immigration were getting more difficult for the Tories to sustain as ‘dog whistles’ for their followers as more and more people with those backgrounds began to take senior positions in the party.” In order to ensure that public hatred of the Church of Janus was cemented, the right-wing press quickly began to imply that it also endorsed such things as peadophilia and child pornography. “There were various planted stories in the likes of The Daily Excess claiming that the religious iconography in the Church’s ‘temples’ included imagery of children being raped and molested,” says Shackles. “As with most of the other stories about the Church of Janus, both in print and online, we could never ever pin down any reliable sources – they all seemed to be anecdotal or based on hearsay. We also could never find any of these ‘temples’ to depravity that the press kept talking about and that the police allegedly kept raiding.”

Shackles and the investigative team at the Daily Norks finally uncovered the trutch about the Church of Janus when they investigated what happened to financial donations made to it by prospective members. “Disturbingly, there were actually people out there who thought it was genuine and wanted to join,” the journalist explains. “But the Church had a ‘joining fee’ – which, alone, should have set alarm bells ringing – which had to be paid up front. We decided to pose as a prospective member and trace where the payment went.” Paying by cheque, an undercover reporter was able to find that it was cashed by a limited company which, according to Companies House, had been set up by two wealthy businessmen who regularly donated to the Tory party. “The Church of Janus was, in effect, a trading name for Hot Leather Enterprises Limited, a highly successful purveyor of bondage equipment and publisher of a number of specialist pornography magazines, including Bum Biter International, Creamy Jugs and Hot Cheeks,” reveals Shackles. “Far from financing terrorism, as the government had claimed, the profits made by the Church of Janus were going into producing Jazz Mags of the type probably read by Tory MPs.”