All Compassion Spent Feb26

All Compassion Spent

Don’t worry, I’m not going to rant about those crackpot conspiracy theorists again. Not that they aren’t still out there peddling their deluded versions of the ‘truth’ to the unwary. But I’ve had my fill of them for the time being – there are more pressing...

Enter the Sexecutioner Feb19

Enter the Sexecutioner

“These are possibly the most disturbing hostage videos yet to come out of the whole Middle East crisis – even worse than those beheading videos,” says Middle East expert Mohammed Al Cack, with regard to number of videos featuring Islamic State members which have recently been uploaded to various video-sharing and social media sites online. “Truly, I was shocked at just how degrading to the victims and their families they were! They are clearly the work of depraved maniacs!” Each of the five videos so far uploaded appear to show a captured ISIS fighter, clad in pink, bent over a barrel, chair or table by a mysterious figure wearing a black...

The Conspiracy Man Feb12

The Conspiracy Man

One of Britain’s top conspiracy theorists is reeling from the revelation that he might not actually exist. “I was first alerted to the fact that I could be some kind of false flag operation when people started pointing out that my profile picture on Facebook looks a lot like an actor...

What Lies Beneath Feb05

What Lies Beneath

After the UK was struck by two earthquakes in quick succession – first in Winchester, then in Rutland – a leading scientist has claimed that, far from being natural phenomena, these earth tremors were, in fact, the first stage of an assault by hostile forces upon the country. “It’s...

His Finest Hour? Jan29

His Finest Hour?

“Winston Churchill? That flatulent fool was the worst Prime Minister we’ve ever had!” declares top TV historian Dr David Starkers. “Believe me, we won the war in spite of him, not because of his so called leadership!” Starkers makes his controversial claims in a new documentary being...

Daily Nudes No More?

“Rupert Murdoch was absolutely right when he said that Page Three was ‘old fashioned’ – in the twenty first century, a tabloid newspaper is no place for semi-naked women,” opines retired News International executive Bruce Blaggs, reflecting on the apparent dropping of topless...

Uncanny Sex Men Jan15

Uncanny Sex Men

Has the US deployed a team of top secret super powered porn stars against terrorists and rogue states? Amid stories from North Korea that Kim Jong-un had recently been ‘molested’ by an invisible assailant and rumours from Iraq that several senior ISIS leaders had dies after being...

A Hundred Years on Benefits Jan08

A Hundred Years on Benefits

Recent newspaper reports that, with advances in medical science, the UK’s average life expectancy could reach 120 years, have reportedly caused alarm at the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP). “The Secretary of State, Iain Duncan Smith, is obviously very concerned at this possibility,” a source at the DWP told The Sleaze. “After all, it is one thing if the right sort of people – those with independent means of supporting themselves – start living to these ages, but what if the wrong sort start regularly living past a hundred? You know – poor people. Imagine what it would cost us in pensions alone!” Indeed, the government has...

Nothing is Real Dec31

Nothing is Real

If you are currently contemplating the events of the past year, lamenting the tragedies, wars and disasters which have befallen people all over the globe – don’t. None of them really happened. They were all staged by ‘them’. That’s right, everything you see in the...

Inhuman Bondage Dec18

Inhuman Bondage

“Those redacted bits in the Senate Intelligence Committee report on the use of torture on terror suspects weren’t just to try and cover up UK involvement, but to hide just how embarrassing our contribution was,” former Security Service officer Dan Shagler has told The Sleaze. “The fact...

An Austerity Xmas Dec11

An Austerity Xmas

With Christmas approaching, disturbing reports of a Santa-figure stealing presents and wrecking decorations have emerged. “He didn’t even come down the chimney – the bastard just burst in through the front door,” thirty nine year Doris Klynge told the Solihull Observer. “He was dressed...

Slim The Ebola Way Dec04

Slim The Ebola Way

“Look, there really is no danger to this new weight loss regime – don’t believe all those scare stories in the press,” says Dr Hans Schlonger, the man behind the controversial new ‘Slim the Ebola Way’ scheme. “It’s all perfectly natural –...

Save Our Celebrities...

“At last those poor oppressed celebrities are fighting back against the evil mastermind Ed Miliband and his ‘Mansion Tax’,” declares Harold Crackman, millionaire proprietor of the Daily Excess in a recent editorial. “First it was Griff Rhys Jones who was daring enough to risk...

Collateral Damage Nov20

Collateral Damage

A Northampton man who opened fire on his neighbours with an illegally held assault rifle has claimed that he was suffering a flashback to his time in Afghanistan and thought that he was defending himself against the Taliban. According to thirty four year old Joe Crapster, his lethal flashback...

Feeling Uncharitable Nov17

Feeling Uncharitable

Apparently it doesn’t have to be any good – it just matters that you buy it because it’s for charity, you see. At least, that’s what Bob Geldof has been telling everyone with regard to the latest version of the ‘Band Aid’ single being inflicted upon an...

Eating Poverty Nov13

Eating Poverty

Are austerity and the government’s benefit cuts forcing Britain’s poorest citizens into cannibalism? This is the shocking claim being made by a top anti-poverty campaigner in the wake of the recent tragedy at Welsh homeless hostel during which one resident died after being tasered...