His Finest Hour? Jan29

His Finest Hour?

“Winston Churchill? That flatulent fool was the worst Prime Minister we’ve ever had!” declares top TV historian Dr David Starkers. “Believe me, we won the war in spite of him, not because of his so called leadership!” Starkers makes his controversial claims in a new documentary being...

Daily Nudes No More?

“Rupert Murdoch was absolutely right when he said that Page Three was ‘old fashioned’ – in the twenty first century, a tabloid newspaper is no place for semi-naked women,” opines retired News International executive Bruce Blaggs, reflecting on the apparent dropping of topless...

Uncanny Sex Men Jan15

Uncanny Sex Men

Has the US deployed a team of top secret super powered porn stars against terrorists and rogue states? Amid stories from North Korea that Kim Jong-un had recently been ‘molested’ by an invisible assailant and rumours from Iraq that several senior ISIS leaders had dies after being...

A Hundred Years on Benefits Jan08

A Hundred Years on Benefits

Recent newspaper reports that, with advances in medical science, the UK’s average life expectancy could reach 120 years, have reportedly caused alarm at the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP). “The Secretary of State, Iain Duncan Smith, is obviously very concerned at this possibility,” a source at the DWP told The Sleaze. “After all, it is one thing if the right sort of people – those with independent means of supporting themselves – start living to these ages, but what if the wrong sort start regularly living past a hundred? You know – poor people. Imagine what it would cost us in pensions alone!” Indeed, the government has...

Nothing is Real Dec31

Nothing is Real

If you are currently contemplating the events of the past year, lamenting the tragedies, wars and disasters which have befallen people all over the globe – don’t. None of them really happened. They were all staged by ‘them’. That’s right, everything you see in the...

Inhuman Bondage Dec18

Inhuman Bondage

“Those redacted bits in the Senate Intelligence Committee report on the use of torture on terror suspects weren’t just to try and cover up UK involvement, but to hide just how embarrassing our contribution was,” former Security Service officer Dan Shagler has told The Sleaze. “The fact...

An Austerity Xmas Dec11

An Austerity Xmas

With Christmas approaching, disturbing reports of a Santa-figure stealing presents and wrecking decorations have emerged. “He didn’t even come down the chimney – the bastard just burst in through the front door,” thirty nine year Doris Klynge told the Solihull Observer. “He was dressed...

Slim The Ebola Way Dec04

Slim The Ebola Way

“Look, there really is no danger to this new weight loss regime – don’t believe all those scare stories in the press,” says Dr Hans Schlonger, the man behind the controversial new ‘Slim the Ebola Way’ scheme. “It’s all perfectly natural –...

Save Our Celebrities...

“At last those poor oppressed celebrities are fighting back against the evil mastermind Ed Miliband and his ‘Mansion Tax’,” declares Harold Crackman, millionaire proprietor of the Daily Excess in a recent editorial. “First it was Griff Rhys Jones who was daring enough to risk...

Collateral Damage Nov20

Collateral Damage

A Northampton man who opened fire on his neighbours with an illegally held assault rifle has claimed that he was suffering a flashback to his time in Afghanistan and thought that he was defending himself against the Taliban. According to thirty four year old Joe Crapster, his lethal flashback...

Feeling Uncharitable Nov17

Feeling Uncharitable

Apparently it doesn’t have to be any good – it just matters that you buy it because it’s for charity, you see. At least, that’s what Bob Geldof has been telling everyone with regard to the latest version of the ‘Band Aid’ single being inflicted upon an...

Eating Poverty Nov13

Eating Poverty

Are austerity and the government’s benefit cuts forcing Britain’s poorest citizens into cannibalism? This is the shocking claim being made by a top anti-poverty campaigner in the wake of the recent tragedy at Welsh homeless hostel during which one resident died after being tasered...

Royal Baby Snatchers

An Oxford woman has sensationally claimed that one of the Royal Princes is, in fact, her son, kidnapped at the age of four and subsequently brought up by Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana as their child. “It was the posh accent which threw me, but the more I saw Prince Harry on the...

The Haunting of Simon Cowell

Behind the scenes sources at ITV’s X-Factor are claiming that the programme’s production team is in the grip of panic ahead of the Halloween edition, with rumours of seances and Ouija boards being used to try and contact producer and judge Simon Cowell. “My sources are telling me that no one has seen him since last week’s show,” claims Daily Norks showbiz reporter Bruce Poke. “Although, confusingly, many of the production team and contestants have claimed that they can still feel his presence around the studio, with many reporting the sensation of having him standing behind them and looking over their shoulders as they...

The Ghost Gropers Oct16

The Ghost Gropers

With Halloween approaching, church leaders and child safety groups have issued warnings over the dangers of a new supernatural craze sweeping Britain’s youth. “It seems to be derived from the nineties horror film Candyman, where saying the eponymous character’s name five times in...

Benefits of Terror Oct09

Benefits of Terror

The government’s so-called ‘Workfare’ scheme, whereby the long-term unemployed are forced to take unpaid ‘work experience placements’ or face losing their benefits, appears to have taken a sinister turn, with a young Briton, claiming to be on a placement with a...