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Just Sayin’!

This is what we need to do: start using the right's tactics to get back at them. Steal all their shitty defences and phrases and use them to justify ourselves every time we call them Nazis and the like. Before you know it, the snowflakes will be whining on about 'cultural appropriation'...

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Ghost Trolling

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a reader fears that we will never be rid of a group og ghosts constantly trolling her over her appearance. Can the Rev help?

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The Turning of Nigel Farage

Has Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage been converted to the cause of Remain? Has he been secretly brain-washed by EU with aim of sabotaging latest Bexit deal? Or is he victim of black magic plot on part of powerful witch doctor and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn?

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The Great British Porn Challenge

Reality TV show that gets participants to film own adult movies is latest UK viewing sensation. 'Great British Porn Challenge' hailed as greatest TV phenomenon since 'Great British Bake Off'. Makers claim series aims to revive lost skills of adult movie production in the UK.

Boris and the Beast

Is Boris Johnson the reincarnation of neolithic sex beast? Incredible claims that Prime Minister’s alleged groping of women is result of this bestial past life involuntarily reasserting itself. Claims that other right wing leaders also apes in past lives.

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Smash and Grab?

Parliamentarians fear any attempt to arrest law breaking Prime Minister Boris Johnson might result in parliament being smashed by his Hulk alter ego. Experts, however, believe if Johnson allowed to break law with impunity, law breaking will be legitimised and the UK overwhelmed by lawlessness.

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Spanked by the Swastika

Several old cans of film dug up from a field reveal a sensational wartime secret involving a lost British pornographic propaganda film. Was ‘Spanked by the Swastika’ banned because of fears it made Nazis sexually attractive, or because it made bondage available to the masses?

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Broken Up Britain

If Brexit has ‘broken’ Britain, with opinion on leave or remain splitting the population down the middle, is the solution to break up Britain? Cross party political group propose North-South split, with South staying in EU and North cast adrift. Strict North to South immigration rules suggested to protect Southern jobs.

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Outrageous Indignation

The question we should really have been asking about Mark Field,the Tory MP suspended for violently manhandling a female protester at a Mansion House function, wasn’t whether he acted because he perceived herr as a threat, but whether he would have done the same thing if she had been a real terrorist?

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Trump Island

Is government planning to sell UK to Donald Trump post-Brexit? Former Tory adviser suggests sale would solve UK’s problems in event of no deal Brexit by obviating need for trade deals and replacing expensive public services with Trump corporate services.

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The Third Secret

Just what is the truth behind the Third Secret of Sutton Coldfield? Why is it being suppressed by the Vatican? Conspiracy theorist claims it prophesises gay pope, thereby threatening whole basis of Catholicism.

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The Wet Sell

Will male incontinence products be the next advertising phenomena? With women’s incontinence products market now saturated, advertisers turning to male equivalents, promising ‘Wet Sell’ to make rubber pants and adult nappies to cater for binge drinking and curry consequences sexy.

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Casting Cats

Fury over trailer for new film version of ‘Cats’ – critics accuse makers of prejudice due to failure to cast real cats. Claim use of human actors playing felines as bad as white actors blacking up to play negro roles. Casting allegedly part of media’s pro-dog, anti-cat, agenda.

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Black and White House

President Donald Trump shocks nation by appearing in black face and performing minstrel songs live from White House. Aides claim President’s actions represent celebration of black American culture and are definitely not racist.

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Never Had it So Good? (1975)

Set against the backdrop of the February 1974 general election, Humber’s film is a ‘ripped-from-the-headlines expose of the seamier side of the British political scene. The plot is straightforward: teenager Wally, attending a Young Conservatives convention declares that he wants to become a political groupie and stows away in the campaign bus of a parliamentary candidate, bound for what he thinks will be the bright lights of the London political scene.

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Political Shake Up

Who would have thought that a milkshake being thrown over a neo fascist could be condemned as being on a par with a terror attack? But that’s what some people would have you believe after a recent spate of such incidents over the past couple of weeks…

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True Blue Sex Scandal

Top political spin doctor laments lack of good sex scandals during Tory leadership contest. Contends that well-managed and carefully leaked affair can enhance candidate’s standing with male voters who believe sexual prowess and virility translate into political competence and international statesmanship.

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Phoney War

Did President Trump’s German relative play crucial role in Allied victory in World War Two? New book claims General Von Trumpenhoffer advised Fuhrer D Day invasion was ‘Fake News’, ensuring reinforcements not sent. Also told Hitler to build wall to keep out Russians and suggested suing Allies for bomb damage.

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Unreal Ales

Can the Campaign for Real Ale tell the difference between effluent and craft beer? While real ale buffs enthuse over new brew, micro brewery owner accused of brewing unreal ales from raw sewage as part of revenge plot for loss of local pub.

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Perversion Therapy

Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called ‘Perversion Therapy’? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from ‘Conversion Therapy’ scandal.

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