Suicide Celebrities

“How my spirits soared at the recent headlines that Richard and Judy had entered into a suicide pact,” enthuses top celebrity gossip columnist Roland Filtheart. “At last, I thought, these minor league celebrities and daytime TV detritus are finally accepting that they no longer have any...

Crackpot Conspiracies Jul17

Crackpot Conspiracie...

It really feels as if the fabric of our so-called reality has finally been pulled asunder to reveal that we’re actually living in some kind of conspiracy theory where every public figure is actually a depraved sex offender protected by the establishment. Everything we ever suspected now...

Right to Forget Jul10

Right to Forget

According to a leading psychologist, large numbers of Britons have been left severely traumatised by the recent conviction of once popular children’s TV star Rolf Harris for serious sexual offences. “There are a variety of traumas being manifested,” Professor Roger Persil, of the...

Celebrity Sex Crimes

According to newspaper claims, disgraced veteran children’s TV star Rolf Harris, recently convicted of several serious sex offences, could also now be facing treason charges. “He wasn’t satisfied with molesting young girls, it seems he also subjected Her Majesty, The Queen to...

Kickstart the Revolution Jun26

Kickstart the Revolution

“It’s the only way to finance anything these days,” thirty two year old Hank Stangless told The Sleaze. “I mean, the banks aren’t lending and most people don’t have the spare cash to contribute thanks to the recession, yet if you look at crowd-funding sites like Kickstarter, you can find people prepared to invest millions in the most bizarre-sounding projects. So, I thought, what the Hell, why not go there to finance the revolution?” Stangless, a call centre operative and part-time post-graduate student, seems an unlikely revolutionary, sat in the kitchen of his West London flat, calmly discussing the dynamics of on line...

Black Comedy

“Is it any wonder that they are shutting the channel down if this is their idea of comedy,” splutters Ralph Friggington, TV critic of the Daily Excess, denouncing digital channel BBC Three’s latest comedy pilot. “Really, it is an insult not only to victims of the holocaust, but also to...

Dogging Watch

“Welcome to the Springwatch dogging special. As you join us, we’re positioned in our hide beside a B-road in Berkshire, within sight of a busy lay-by known to be one of the area’s most popular dogging spots,” presenter Chris Packham yesterday told shocked viewers of the...

I Was Farage’s Double! May29

I Was Farage’s Double!

In the wake of the UK Independence Party’s (UKIP) ‘stunning’ local and European election victories the extraordinary story of the subterfuge perpetuated by the party’s leader on the media and enemies, has been revealed in the book I Was Farage’s Double. The book’s author, Southampton accountant and amateur actor Marty Cliffey, claims that, because of his uncanny resemblance to Nigel Farage, he was plucked from obscurity to act as a decoy for the UKIP leader during the recent election campaigns. “It was my party piece – taking the piss out of Farage,” he explained at the book’s launch earlier this...

Race for Votes May22

Race for Votes

“It all started during the last council elections – this guy came knocking on the door, claiming that he was standing for UKIP and started going on about Eastern European immigrants and how they were all rapists and murderers! When me and the wife told him that was just racist, he said...

Foreign Influence May15

Foreign Influence

The past few months have made me painfully aware of the fact that I’m not getting younger – aches, pains, niggling illnesses which take longer and longer to get over and increasingly frequent health scares – so I’ve started training a new generation of the Sleaze family to...

Stolen Lives? May08

Stolen Lives?

“There was no warning at all – it completely came out of the blue! One minute I’m minding my own business, getting on with my life, next thing I know, these people are telling me that it isn’t my life I’m living – it’s someone else’s,” explains twenty eight year...

Counter Crop World May01

Counter Crop World

Police have revealed that the man recently arrested for attempting to murder a top London banker is leading cerealogist and conspiracy theorist Frank Dibble. “Mr Dibble has a clear history of mental illness – at the time of the current incident he was still on bail, having been arrested last...

Paint it Blue (North Wind, 1972) Apr24

Paint it Blue (North...

DIRECTOR: RON BLADDER. RUNNING TIME: 87 mins. DVD: AEOLUS RELEASING. PRICE: £7.99. CERT: PG. One of three films to have carried this title – theis is sadly not the dark, uncouth 1972 police thriller from France, or the amusing 1980s movie about a London students’ residence. No, this is...

Killing for Fame

“Interest in serial killers has never been greater with books, newspaper articles, films and all manner of memorabilia appearing – one manufacturer is even planning to bring out a series of ‘Great Mass Murderers’ lunchboxes, flasks and backpacks for kiddies, featuring the likes of Fred...

Flight of Fancy Apr10

Flight of Fancy

Police have raided the Maidenhead home of notorious prankster and practical joker Neville Cockster following a tip-off from the Malaysian authorities that the forty-eight year old salesman was behind the disappearance of flight MH370. According to witnesses of the dawn raid, the police seemed...

Rough Trade Apr03

Rough Trade

In extraordinary scenes yesterday, hundreds of rent-boys abandoned their usual Soho haunts to march down Whitehall in protest at the growing numbers of foreign male prostitutes working in London. Waving placards emblazoned with slogans such as ‘British Bottoms are Best’ and...