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I Let My House to a Serial Killer

'I let my house to a serial killer!' complains Airbnb customer. Users of Airbnb and similar services share tales of how their properties were used as porn movie sets and temporary brothels!

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Never Say Di

Former Royal medium reveals Princess Diana's sensational post-mortem affairs. TV station condemned for airing recordings of seances in which Lady Di chronicles afterlife assignations with Errol Flynn and John Lennon.

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Hipsters in a Haunted House

Hipsters in a Haunted House features a trio of London hipsters who have ventured from the safety of gentrified Spitalfields for deepest, darkest ‘Mummerset’ en route to the Newton Abbot Beard Championships. Seeking shelter from a storm as they drive to the contest, they find themselves in a supposedly haunted house.

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Secrets of the Shed

Anger as 'Sex Dungeon Shed' disqualified from local heat of 'Shed of the Year' contest. Investigation uncovers secrets of Britain's garden sheds as private prisons and sleazy photographic studios exposed as successful entrants in competition.

Doctor in a Dress

As Doctor Who fans rage over character’s regeneration into a woman, former Who actor claims BBC tried to force him into sex change in 1970s. While gay fans claim gender change is homophobic plot to destroy gay icon, straight fans claim feminist plot to emasculate them.

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Coming of the Sex Bots

Should sex robots looking like children be banned? Experts warn of potential perils posed by realistic sex bots, including rape and sexual harassment by proxy. Should they only be playthings of wealthy rapists, or available to the masses to facilitate redistribution of sexual intercourse?

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Modern Conspiracies Are Rubbish!

Are modern conspiracy theories rubbish? Startling claims from top conspiracy theorists that recent conspiracies such as Manchester bombing and Kensington fire have been poorly conceived and ineptly carried out. Call for return to classic conspiracies involving Aliens, Nazis and replicants.

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Total Bollocks Strikes Back

“It is completely untrue that we ever planned a story accusing Robert Robinson, Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell of behind the scenes sex romps with minors whilst recording Call My Bluff in the early seventies”. More completely unfounded celebrity gossip.

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Faking Terror

Were London Bridge attackers actually part of Jihadi terror re-enactment group? Bizarre tabloid claims that whole terror incident a tragic misunderstanding with make believe terrorists armed with fake suicide bomb belts and rubber knives mistaken by police for real thing.

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In Sickness and in Health?

Are serious diseases like cancer a medical scam? Astonishing claims from Tory politician that most sicknesses invented by medics to justify existence of National Health Service and swindle billions of ponds of tax payers money to fund bogus treatments for fake diseases!

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Evil Dead

Were police sent to guard the mortuary holding ‘Moors Murderer’ Ian Brady’s body due to fears that an attempt would be made to resurrect him? Tabloids accused of exploiting dead killer’s notoriety for circulation with bizarre stories of body snatching and return from the grave.

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That Seventies Manifesto

Is Labour planning to, literally, take Britain back to the seventies? Journalist claims manifesto promises compulsory strikes, radio prog rock quotas and peadophile children’s TV presenters. Austin Allegro and Hillman to be put back in production and digital TV scrapped in favour of traditional three channel TV.

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Victims of Fame

Does fame obsessed media treat victims of non-celebrity sex offenders as ‘second class’? Victims’ group demands equal access to celebrity sex offenders for working class kids, to ensure high profile and potentially lucrative reporting of their stories.

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A Question of Class

What is it about the world of gambling which attracts the wealthy? Why is it depicted as a past time for the wealthy, but an addiction for the workers? Is it all a question of class?

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Naturist Naturalist

BBC wildlife presenter’s naked Malta rampage revealed! Did popular naturalist bare all to disrupt bird hunters? Tabloid alleges BBC nature programmes promoting naturism with calendar featuring presenters in provocative nude poses with animals!

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Shooting Wars

Low budget film director’s use of Syrian conflict for filming war movie raises fears of unscrupulous film makers prolonging and agitating conflicts to produce cheap action footage. Astounding claims that World War Two extended by two years for benefit of Hollywood studios! Was Vietnam War staged by CBS?

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Fire Down Below

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a reader fears ‘fire down below’ during sex thanks to her pyrokinetic powers. Can the Rev help?

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Wheels of Terror

Was Westminster terror attacker radicalised by watching Top Gear? Incredible claims that attacker who used car as weapon actually militant motorist dedicated to taking back the streets for drivers. TV producers deny anti road safety agenda of motoring shows inspire automotive terrorism.

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Sick and Depraved?

Islamic State joins Prime Minister in condemning ‘sick and depraved’ Westminster terror attack by militant sexual deviants. Sex-based outrage sees naked man trying to batter way into Parliament with erect penis and groups of deviants performing exotic sex acts in front of commuters on Westminster Bridge.

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