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Pop Shots

Which Spice Girl is Your Masturbatory Fantasy? That's the question we're asking in our fabulous new competition as we try to lay to rest one of the great unanswered questions of the nineties - was it Spicy, Scary, Posh or Baby who inspired the most pop shots. For balance, we're also asking the ladies - which celebrity has the biggest schlong?

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Sex Education

Government's plans for sex education in schools under fire. Minister proposes establishment of proper training schemes for potential sex offenders to ensure their aptitude and proficiency in their chosen field of deviance.

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Overheard Conversations

Are the great British public actually a bunch of ill informed morons? With radio phone ins more popular than ever and social media allowing ordinary citizens to publicly express their opinions as never before, top academic claims that everything they say is utter, ill informed, bollocks. Should government actually be discouraging greater electoral engagement by the terminally ignorant?

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Saving Brexit?

Is Nigel Farage's call for second EU referendum part of cunning plan to save Brexit from Tory incompetence? Top journalist claims that by reversing decision to leave EU, Farage plans to start whole process afresh, on his terms! Former UKIP leader also allegedly behind collapse of old party to clear way for new hard line pro leave party to fight third referendum!

They Came From Beyond England

A long forgotten film, condemned on its release and thought lost for many years, 1968’s They Came From Beyond England has recently resurfaced on DVD. An appalling piece of racism in which equates immigration with alien invasion, it sees illegal immigrants from Africa and the Indian sub continent parachute into the Home Counties and take over a large swathe of Surrey.

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I Buried Santa!

Was Santa killed and replaced by double in 1996? Astonishing claims by ‘Santa is Dead’ conspiracy theorists that Santa replaced by Jesus after being hit by van while delivering presents! ‘I buried Santa’ claims former van driver!

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Secret Santa

Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!

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Evil Elves

Londoners warned of threat posed to Christmas shoppers by gang of crazed dwarves dressed as Christmas elves. Police claim that evil elves are targeting people buying and giving inappropriate and disappointing gifts for relatives.

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Immoral Thoughts

Are feminists now using mind readers to detect men’s lewd thoughts? Tory MP claims feminist fundamentalists want to see men prosecuted for their abusive sexual fantasies about women.

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Nightmare Mayor

Council workers stage ‘military coup’ against so called ‘Nightmare Mayor’ of provincial UK town. Inspired by President Duterte, mayor launched reign of terror against alleged non recyclers, litter louts and non poop scooping dog owners.

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The Great British Sex Scandal

Are standards of British sex offending in decline? Is current political sex scandal too little, too late? Expert demands that MPs must step up sexual harassment to set example if US lead in sexual offences to be cut.

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Groping for the Apocalypse

What has befuddled me from the start over this whole groping apocalypse is the way in which much of the media professes mystification as to what fuels such attitudes to women. Really? Have you seen your own content of late?

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Halloween Sex Pests

Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.

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Sex Offensive

Top therapist claims revolutionary treatment of sex addicts through use of sex bots. Technological ‘sex offensive’ will allegedly cure offenders by turning them into victims.

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The Two Faces of Brexit

A bizarre continental take on Brexit, which casts the whole debate over whether the UK should leave the EU or remain as a horror movie. Essentially a variant on Jekyll and Hyde, it features a pro-European journalist turning bestial after being secretly injected with a mysterious serum by a sinister pro Brexit politician.

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Stiff Shifters

New Uber-like app Stiff Shifters offering to provide customers with hearse within fifteen minutes for cut price funeral services under fire from users. Mourners claim ‘hearses’ have included ice cream vans and coffins carried on roof racks.

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Fake Quake?

Did Mexico fake recent earthquake in order to defraud US and other donors of relief funds? US ‘Shock Jock’ controversially claims natural disasters are ‘racket’ on part of poorer countries to siphon billions of dollars from wealthy states.

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Licence to Discriminate

British Secret Service slammed by new report claiming SPECTRE, KGB and other evil secret organisations have better record on employing women, homosexuals and ethnic minorities. Accused of having ‘Licence to Discriminate’ against minorities.

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