Category: Arts & Media

Halloween Sex Pests

Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.

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The Two Faces of Brexit

A bizarre continental take on Brexit, which casts the whole debate over whether the UK should leave the EU or remain as a horror movie. Essentially a variant on Jekyll and Hyde, it features a pro-European journalist turning bestial after being secretly injected with a mysterious serum by a sinister pro Brexit politician.

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Hipsters in a Haunted House

Hipsters in a Haunted House features a trio of London hipsters who have ventured from the safety of gentrified Spitalfields for deepest, darkest ‘Mummerset’ en route to the Newton Abbot Beard Championships. Seeking shelter from a storm as they drive to the contest, they find themselves in a supposedly haunted house.

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Secrets of the Shed

Anger as ‘Sex Dungeon Shed’ disqualified from local heat of ‘Shed of the Year’ contest. Investigation uncovers secrets of Britain’s garden sheds as private prisons and sleazy photographic studios exposed as successful entrants in competition.

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Doctor in a Dress

As Doctor Who fans rage over character’s regeneration into a woman, former Who actor claims BBC tried to force him into sex change in 1970s. While gay fans claim gender change is homophobic plot to destroy gay icon, straight fans claim feminist plot to emasculate them.

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Total Bollocks Strikes Back

“It is completely untrue that we ever planned a story accusing Robert Robinson, Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell of behind the scenes sex romps with minors whilst recording Call My Bluff in the early seventies”. More completely unfounded celebrity gossip.

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Naturist Naturalist

BBC wildlife presenter’s naked Malta rampage revealed! Did popular naturalist bare all to disrupt bird hunters? Tabloid alleges BBC nature programmes promoting naturism with calendar featuring presenters in provocative nude poses with animals!

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Shooting Wars

Low budget film director’s use of Syrian conflict for filming war movie raises fears of unscrupulous film makers prolonging and agitating conflicts to produce cheap action footage. Astounding claims that World War Two extended by two years for benefit of Hollywood studios! Was Vietnam War staged by CBS?

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Extreme Breast Feeding

Legitimate sporting challenge or misogynistic titillation? TV executive defends ‘Extreme Breast Feeding’, a newly televised ‘extreme sport’ against charges of sexism and objectification of women.

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Dying for Ratings

Was George Michael Murdered by News Media Conspiracy to boost Christmas News Ratings? Top Conspiracy THeorist Claims Queen also on media ‘Hit List’.

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Daughter of de Sade

The plot of this sixties exploitation movie involves the ‘daughter’ of de Sade giving a bloody good thrashing to various leading members of the establishment, including the aforementioned Tory MP, a High Court Judge, a Bishop and a minor Royal, in order to expose the hypocrisies of the ruling classes, showing that they themselves are practitioners of the very same sexual perversions her ancestor was persecuted for writing about.

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Dead Scandalous

Who are the mystery celebrities protected by latest super injunctions? Are they actually dead – but only for tax purposes? Tabloid makes sensational claims!

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Celebrity Killers

Is 2015’s Celebrity Holocaust the Work of the ‘Star Whackers’? Or is it Result of Cull of ‘Bad’ Celebrities by Secret Moral Fundamentalist Conspiracy?

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I Shagged a Celebrity

Our readers’ incredible stories of celebrity sex encounters! Did Rod Hull and Emu engage in a kinky three-in-a-bed romp? Did a young hippie really ‘duke the Duke’ in 1973?

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Look Black in Anger

Outrage as Academy Awards address diversity issue by having DiCaprio accept Best Actor Oscar in black face. act of ‘solidarity’ condemned as offensive and ill judged stunt.

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