Category: Arts & Media

Postmark Evil (1998)

Shot on the streets of Smethwick, Postmark Evil is an insane mix of horror and crime featuring an apparently demonic postman searching for a stolen artefact possessed of evil powers. Made on a miniscule budget, it is part of a cycle of direct-to-video exploitation releases produced by and starring Reg Smedley, all filmed in the West Midlands.

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Match Made in Heaven?

Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.

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Marriage of Inconvenience

Despite recent Royal Wedding boosting popularity of matrimony in the UK, growing numbers of single people continue to believe in inconvenience of marriage. Consequently, wedding-themed magazine proposes self-marriage service allowing singles to walk down the aisle with themselves.

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I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out

Is new exploitation movie ‘I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out’ pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?

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Pop Shots

Which Spice Girl is Your Masturbatory Fantasy? That’s the question we’re asking in our fabulous new competition as we try to lay to rest one of the great unanswered questions of the nineties – was it Spicy, Scary, Posh or Baby who inspired the most pop shots. For balance, we’re also asking the ladies – which celebrity has the biggest schlong?

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They Came From Beyond England

A long forgotten film, condemned on its release and thought lost for many years, 1968’s They Came From Beyond England has recently resurfaced on DVD. An appalling piece of racism in which equates immigration with alien invasion, it sees illegal immigrants from Africa and the Indian sub continent parachute into the Home Counties and take over a large swathe of Surrey.

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Halloween Sex Pests

Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.

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The Two Faces of Brexit

A bizarre continental take on Brexit, which casts the whole debate over whether the UK should leave the EU or remain as a horror movie. Essentially a variant on Jekyll and Hyde, it features a pro-European journalist turning bestial after being secretly injected with a mysterious serum by a sinister pro Brexit politician.

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Hipsters in a Haunted House

Hipsters in a Haunted House features a trio of London hipsters who have ventured from the safety of gentrified Spitalfields for deepest, darkest ‘Mummerset’ en route to the Newton Abbot Beard Championships. Seeking shelter from a storm as they drive to the contest, they find themselves in a supposedly haunted house.

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Secrets of the Shed

Anger as ‘Sex Dungeon Shed’ disqualified from local heat of ‘Shed of the Year’ contest. Investigation uncovers secrets of Britain’s garden sheds as private prisons and sleazy photographic studios exposed as successful entrants in competition.

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Doctor in a Dress

As Doctor Who fans rage over character’s regeneration into a woman, former Who actor claims BBC tried to force him into sex change in 1970s. While gay fans claim gender change is homophobic plot to destroy gay icon, straight fans claim feminist plot to emasculate them.

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Total Bollocks Strikes Back

“It is completely untrue that we ever planned a story accusing Robert Robinson, Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell of behind the scenes sex romps with minors whilst recording Call My Bluff in the early seventies”. More completely unfounded celebrity gossip.

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Naturist Naturalist

BBC wildlife presenter’s naked Malta rampage revealed! Did popular naturalist bare all to disrupt bird hunters? Tabloid alleges BBC nature programmes promoting naturism with calendar featuring presenters in provocative nude poses with animals!

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Shooting Wars

Low budget film director’s use of Syrian conflict for filming war movie raises fears of unscrupulous film makers prolonging and agitating conflicts to produce cheap action footage. Astounding claims that World War Two extended by two years for benefit of Hollywood studios! Was Vietnam War staged by CBS?

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Extreme Breast Feeding

Legitimate sporting challenge or misogynistic titillation? TV executive defends ‘Extreme Breast Feeding’, a newly televised ‘extreme sport’ against charges of sexism and objectification of women.

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