DIRECTOR: JIM SWAGHAMMER/FANNER FANNERSSON.  RUNNING TIME: 92 mins. DVD: PEEPHOLE FILMS. PRICE: £9.99. CERT: 15.

A bizarre piece of Euro-horror with a chequered history, Island of the Cod Men has been opportunistically re-released on DVD to coincide with current EU-UK disputes over fishing rights stemming from trade deal negotiations, post-Brexit. Well, a version of the film has been re-released. The original version of the film was made somewhen in the seventies, against the background of the so-called ‘Cod Wars’, which saw Royal Navy frigates escorting British trawlers to prevent their interception by Icelandic gun boats, as they fished in disputed waters. Apparently made as a satire, of sorts, on the situation, the film had the distinction of being the first Icelandic produced horror film. Despite its landmark status, Island of the Cod Men was barely distributed outside of Iceland in its original form. It would have remained a forgotten film if, in the late eighties, it hadn’t been bought by notorious British schlock producer and distributor Rudiger J Quant, who proceeded to completely rework the film, cutting nearly half an hour of the original footage, redubbing the remainder and combining it with newly shot footage to bring it back up to feature length. After enjoying mild success as a direct-to-video release, the film vanished from public view again. Until the Brexit referendum, when Quant reworked it yet again, removing the previously added footage, re-editing the original and adding more new footage to completely change the plot once more, in order to turn it into a Brexit horror satire. This time, as a direct-to-DVD release, it sank without trace.

Original director Fanner Fannersson’s film was an Island of Dr Moreau type story, with a group of British sailors washed up on a mysterious island after their warship has been mysteriously sunk. Finding themselves accosted by various strange creatures, the group of survivors is quickly reduced in numbers, with the final three eventually stumbling upon a mansion, inhabited by a reclusive scientist and his daughter. As his two companions quickly vanish, the sole survivor learns that the scientist is conducting experiments to create a race of half-men, half cod creatures. Using shipwrecked sailors as he raw materials, he has created a whole shoal, or school, perhaps, of these hybrids, which he is sending out, Captain Nemo style, to sink British warships and the trawlers they protect, as his contribution to the Icelandic Cod War effort. While the idea of cod catching fishermen would seem to have some satirical potential, the film undermined by its cheapness, with the titular monsters disappointingly represented by men wearing rubber fish masks, (according to some piscean authorities, these aren’t even cod masks, apparently most resembling haddock). Moreover, there never seem to be more than three of them seen together at any one time, making them a singularly unimpressive army. The use of amateur actors doesn’t help, let alone the cardboard sets and sea scenes that look as if they had been shot in a bath tub.

The first reworking of the film, overseen by Quant, provides a whole new framing story, this time setting the story in a post-apocalyptic world, where fresh fish is in short supply. According to the new footage, directed by veteran exploitation director Harry Rammer, the Cod War had turned ‘hot’ after a British warship had inadvertently depth charged a shoal of neutral plaice, with the conflict then escalating to a full nuclear exchange between the super powers. The plot proper opens in a half-ruined London, where fish and chip shop chain owner – who is having to pass off dog meat as fish – decides to mount an expedition to the North Sea to try and obtain fresh fish. Inevitably, the expedition ends in disaster, with the chartered trawler – commanded by a crazed Captain Ahab-type salty old seadog – encounters giant mutated cod, which attack and sink it. The survivors wash up on a mysterious island – which is footage from the original, with the Icelandic cast seen in long-shot and the new cast (witch matched costumes) in close up – where they encounter the vicious Cod Men. This time, however, there is no mad scientist. Instead, the survivors gradually discover that they are spontaneously mutating into Cod Men as a result of eating radioactive fish. While more inventive than the original in terms of plot devices, poor matching of old and new film stock and poor miniature work ultimately let the film down.

The third version of Island of the Cod Men discards the post-apocalyptic framing device in favour a new, contemporary, storyline. This time, the new footage, (directed by TV director Jim Swaghammer), involves a Nigel Farage-type nationalist and ant-European political leader setting sail with a British fishing boat flotilla, to confront foreign fishing vessels allegedly operating illegally in British waters. Once again, the British vessels find themselves attacked by unseen forces, with the survivors, including the Farage lookalike, washing up on that now familiar island. This time around, the mad scientist is back, but this time he’s working for the EU and turning captured British fishermen into Cod Men as part of an evil European plot to restock the Norh Sea cod population. Horrified by the prospect of British fishermen turned fish men being caught n the nets of foreign trawlers, the politician fights to thwart these diabolical schemes. This version is slightly better than its predecessors, mainly thanks to the use of CGI to create some half decent special effects. The satirical elements, though, are clunkingly obvious and about as subtle as a sledgehammer.

It is this third version which has now been re-released on DVD. It contains the least footage from the original and is probably the most easily accessible for contemporary audiences. In the final analysis, though, it represents a cynical attempt by Quant to wring yet more revenue from footage he bought cheaply some thirty odd years ago. To be brutally frank, Island of the Cod Men really isn’t worth paying to see in any version.