Category: Science

Are the world’s cities under attack from titanic human trumps? Top scientists claim recent series of city levelling natural disasters actually caused by huge vegan farts. Are a group of vegan extremists holding world to ransom, threatening to global destruction unless whole globe gives up animal products?

After refuse-filled missile strikes Brussels, spewing stinking household waste across city, UK is accused of running secret scheme to dispose of its rubbish by firing it off in rockets. Despite denials by British authorities, suspicions linger that rain of effluent over German city might also have been from malfunctioning UK waste disposal missile.

Are a gang of international arsonists traveling around world setting wild fires to provide fake evidence of climate change? Extraordinary claims from controversial ‘climatologist’ that climate change actually being faked by groups of saboteurs employed by evil green energy lobby, out to discredit carbon-based energy.

Should children be drinking a glass of oil a day for their health? Controversial climate denier claims oil-related pollution actually beneficial to human health, welcomes UK premier Sunak’s commitment to more oil production and fewer urban low-emission zones. Alleges that more pollution would have stopped pandemic, reduced childhood illness rates.

Did a man travel back in time to try and stop assassination of John Lennon in 1980? Top physicist makes series of extraordinary claims regarding missing colleague. Alleges combination of time machine constructed in lab locker and tantric sex enabled leading scientist to create new reality where Lennon lives!

Pro LGBTQ newspaper column by Jeremy Clarkson prompts revelation that right-wing press using Artificial Intelligence to produce its bile-filled and reactionary columns and opinion pieces. Fears that AI has become self-aware and is ‘woke’, deliberately subverting Tory tabloids hate-filled messaging. Others claim AI hacked by ‘Wokerati’.

Is business booming for Britain’s mercy killers thanks to cost-of-living crisis? UK’s providers of illicit euthanasia services report surge in demand for their services as old and infirm find it increasingly difficult to make ends meet. Fear cold snap combined with high fuel prices will cut off demand for assisted dying as pensioners find freezing to death cheaper.