Should convicted criminals who die before they’ve completed their sentences be brought back from the grave to finish their punishment? Newspaper suggests voodoo be employed to bring back as zombies offenders attempting to cheat justice through death.
Major UK Terror Alert After Hijacked Santa’s Sleigh Crashes into Shoppers at German Market. Was Driver Part of Group Trying to Drive Out European Xmas Traditions in Favour of British Yule-tide Celebrations?
Sheriff’s Deputies in US South ordered to black up in order to avoid being targeted by black snipers. Local Sheriff also believes wearing of black face by white officers will also take racial element out of police brutality.
Jihadist group ISIS have claimed responsibility for the huge turd which recently brought Brussels to a standstill. Belgian authorities declare ‘Code Brown’ as Jihadist ‘Shit to Kill’ tactics hit Metro.
Britons to be Banned from Sniffing Own Farts under new Legislation Cracking Down on Legal Highs. Warnings From Experts that Low Quality Imported Farts Could be Responsible for Serious Illnesses and even Deaths Among Fart Sniffing Clubbers.
Has Trauma of Sex Crimes Committed by Seventies TV Personalities Driven Their Former Fans to Crime? Defendants in Series of Violent Crimes Blame Rolf Harris and Jimmy Savile for Tainting Their Childhood Memories!
Did Combat Trauma Cause Ex-Soldier’s Deadly Gun Attack on Neighbours’ Guy Fawkes Party ? Claims Fireworks Caused Flashback to Afghanistan. Did Supernatural Trauma Cause Drunk’s Attack on Trick or Treaters? Claims Costumes Caused Flashback to Transylvania Monster Attack.
Alleged Celebrity Sex Offenders Publicly and Brutally Groped by Sinister Black-Clad Figure! Uber-Pervert, Vigilante or Officially Sanctioned Avenger? Mystery Surrounds Identity and Intent of the Groper in Black!
Have uniform dating websites been infiltrated by jihadist terrorists? Fears are growing that UK-based Muslim fundamentalists have opened up a new front in their war against the West by using online dating services to target UK military personnel!
Is a naked superhero cleaning up streets of Lewisham? Mayor and police in London Borough dismiss reports of Nude Man rescuing old ladies and shoppers from predatory beggars and charity collectors as hoax!