Did Her Majesty The Queen lead English football hooligans against Russian thugs at Euro 2016? Extraordinary allegations as top hooligan claims armour clad Jeremy Corbyn rallied English hooligans in Marseilles.
Florida Preacher Denies Exploiting Orlando Shootings to try and ‘Cure’ Homosexuals by Organising Donations of ‘Heterosexual’ blood for Injured. Claims Two Pints of ‘Real American’ Blood Will turn Recipient Straight.
Where is Jesus? With the Messiah Sixteen Years Overdue for Second Coming, We’re Offering Five Pounds to the Reader Who Spots Him. Remember, You Must be Carrying a Bible and Say ‘You Are Jesus Christ and I Claim my Five Pounds’ When you See Him to be Eligible for the Prize.
Church of England’s New Pay Day Loan Service – Your Daily Bread – Under Scrutiny After Debtors Invoke Wrath of God After Missing Single Payment. Defaulters’ Houses Struck By Lightning, First Born Slain as Lender ‘Gets Biblical’.
Frenzied mobs of breast-obsessed Brits besiege foreign embassies in protest at their inability to see topless photos of Duchess of Cambridge published in those countries! Fears for safety of Royal jugs as mobs’ expectations of Kate’s knockers reach unrealistic levels!
Essex Police Call Off Massive Hunt For Naked Prince Harry Following Sighting by Members of Public. Local Woman Claims Blurred Photo of ‘Prince’ Scratching Balls in Field is Actually Her Commoner Layabout Ginger Son.