Category: Religion & Royalty

Queen Zombie

Did Queen Elizabeth II rise from the grave to disrupt King Charles’ coronation and wrest the crown from his head? Astounding claims from viewers who claimed to have witnessed living dead Royals, including Queen, Queen Mother and Prince Philip launch zombie attack on coronation ceremony on live TV. Mass hallucination or republican plot?

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A Bit of Spare

Are Royal Family a bunch of racists who hunt ethnic minorities for sport in inner city areas? Is Prince William a hard drinking bar brawler? Is his brother a trigger happy psychopath, mowing down his own soldiers by mistake? Rival Royal experts respond to Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’ with more bizarre Royal claims.

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Royal Death Cult

Did the Queen jump out of her coffin at lying in state as practical joke before expiring again? Did those viewing coffin experience healing miracles? Top psychologist claims UK spent period of Royal mourning in state of hysteria, hallucinating late monarch as saint-like figure, as a ‘Royal Death Cult’ gripped nation.

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Let’s Kill the Queen!

Has the Queen become a homicidal maniac? On eve of Jubilee, former Palace employee makes extraordinary claims of paranoid monarch engaging in knife fights and attacking members of family she suspects of plotting to kill her for the crown. Top Royal commentator believes real threat coming from pagan cultists looking to sacrifice Queen to renew UK.

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Mad Fundamentalist Bastards

New fundamentalist terror group vows to be maddest mad bastards in world of terrorism. Dissatisfied with ‘too liberal’ approach of groups like Taliban, Mad Fundamentalist Bastards promises more extreme and senseless atrocities in the name of Holiness.

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The Mourning After

As TV news anchors come to blows on air over who is being most respectful to Prince Philip, many ask whether coverage of Royal death too extensive and too reverential. News outlet criticized for filling air time with conspiracy theories that Duke assassinated by Boris Johnson or Meghan Markle.

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The Queen in Black

Is HM The Queen really black? Shock claims of Her Majesty’s secret blackness by left-wing journalist rocks Britain’s conservatives. Has there been massive decades long conspiracy by UK establishment to cover up Queen Elizabeth’s true heritage?

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Her Majesty’s Last Orgy

Did the Queen spend lock down engaged in sex and drug fueled orgies in her Windsor Castle bunker? Wild tabloid tales of naked ladies-in-waiting engaged in gladitorial contests and soap stars forced to perform shows live and at gun point emerge.

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Vampire Jesus

Was Jesus Christ actually a vampire? Controversial new film sensationally claims that Christian church built upon blood sucking. Top Bishop calls for boycott of blasphemous movie, rejecting allegations that worshippers literally drink blood of Christ.

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Renouncing Royalty

Constitutional crisis or cobblers? Will Prince Harry and Meghan’s decision to renounce royal life and live on council estate in Slough result in end of the monarchy as we know it? Royal experts disagree as to consequences of Harry becoming Uber driver.

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Street Fighting Pope

What lies behind Pope Francis’ assault on a woman in St Peter’s Square on New Year’s Eve? Was he fighting off sex starved Papal groupie, or was he preparing to fight evil with his fists?

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Heaven Can’t Wait

Man threatens to sue NHS for reviving him from clinical death. Claims medics’ actions wrenched him unwillingly from heavenly paradise. Controversially claims hereafter is eternal pub presided over by Christ the Geezer.

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The Third Secret

Just what is the truth behind the Third Secret of Sutton Coldfield? Why is it being suppressed by the Vatican? Conspiracy theorist claims it prophesises gay pope, thereby threatening whole basis of Catholicism.

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They Saved Diana’s Brain

Did surgeons save Princess Diana’s brain on night of fatal Paris car crash? New documentary film makes extraordinary claim that Diana’s brain still lives and exerts telepathic influence over her family!

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Never Say Di

Former Royal medium reveals Princess Diana’s sensational post-mortem affairs. TV station condemned for airing recordings of seances in which Lady Di chronicles afterlife assignations with Errol Flynn and John Lennon.

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