Category: Politics

What is the truth behind Tory MP’s desperate late night call to local party treasurer pleading for money? Was he being held against his will in a sex dungeon over an unpaid bill for whippings? Or was he held for ransom by irate rent-boys furious at his encroachment onto their territory? Or was it all an elaborate scheme to embezzle party funds?

As Reform Party drops candidate who turned out to be dead, journalist claims that fringe party is deliberately deploying corpses as candidates as elderly base of support starts to die off. Further alarming allegations that fringe parties could be planning to reanimate dead supporters to boost support, amid reports of polling station overrun by zombies!

Is a dating app for S&M enthusiasts being used to lure Tory MPs into ‘honey trap’ for purposes of blackmail? Backbench Tories apparently being enticed into ‘torture dungeons’ with anonymous photos of genitalia, then photographed while being bound and beaten. Security Services baffled as to who is behind plot.

Americans urged to ‘forget the Alamo’ as calls to expel Texas from the Union grow. With ‘Lone Star State’ refusing to implement Federal laws on border controls, top politicians suggest State should either become independent or rejoin Mexico. Mexicans unenthusiastic at prospect of subsequent ‘Gringo invasion’ if latter occurs.

Is Donald Trump senile? Ex-President’s mental fitness for office called into question after alleged bizarre behaviour, including urinating on supporters at rally. Fans claim Democrat conspiracy to deflect attention from President Biden’s senility. Critics claim wealthy Trump backers believe dementia struck Trump would make White House easier to control.

Is a Washington fast food joint actually a front for a child cannibalism cult serving flesh burgers to liberal degenerates? As acolytes of latest crazy right wing conspiracy theory attack burger restaurant, experts dismiss claims as being yet more extremist fantasies and label its followers as ‘deluded’.

As social media debates whether Hamas and the Houthis are savage alien invaders or some kind of musical act, questions are raised as to current standard of online political discourse. Is online ignorance part of far right strategy to promote conspiracy fantasies and false narratives in order to smother rational debate?

As Stephen Hawking revealed to have been guest on Epstein’s right-wing fantasy island, conspiracy theorists speculate as to how quadriplegic physicist was able to participate in alleged orgies? Did it involve mechanical assistance, advanced puppetry or even magic? Are right-wingers using Epstein affair to project own perverted fantasies onto opponents?

Is homelessness just a lifestyle choice? Top Tory MP claims people are just dropping out of their regular lives to enjoy benefits of living tax and responsibility free on the streets – calls for them to be rounded up and sent to Rwanda. Also targets pensioners for making lifestyle choice to be old and live off of the state – should they be euthanised?

Is Sunak’s Tory government aiming to hasten global apocalypse with its reckless anti-green policies? Are the Tories’ increasingly extreme right-wing policies on everything from the environment to human rights the result of a diabolical pact which will guarantee a special self-governing Tory Hell if they do Satan’s work and engineer end of world?

Are Tories organising fights between right-wing Tory MPs and dangerous dogs for money? Government denies ‘XL Bully’ dog died of its injuries after bout with Suella Braverman in secret arena. Should extremist Tory MPs be muzzled instead of so called dangerous dogs?

Sinister cult leader Rishi Sunak announces plans to brainwash Britain into conformity. ‘Running down Britain’ to be classified as warning sign of possible ‘radicalisation’. Critics to be subjected to ‘deradicalisation’ process to impress true British values of bigotry, xenophobia, sexism and authoritarianism upon them.

Have the likes of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump been taken roughly from behind by Vladimir Putin? Wild and unfounded social media speculation follows publication of vague claims of sexual abuse by unnamed parties against other unnamed parties in world of global politics. Irresponsible journalism or scoop of the century?

Are refugee boats being sunk by rogue submarine operated by secret cabal of right-wing anti-immigration politicians and activists? Incredible claims that private groups have taken government’s ‘Stop the Boats’ slogan literally, as Nigel Farage denies allegations he was seen captaining U-Boat in Channel.

Are top Tories being harassed and victimised by monsters? Claims that Boris Johnson menaced by The Blob while Mothra held responsible for Suella Braverman’s recent speeding conviction. Was Liz Truss’ economic master plan destroyed by Gorgo eating the Treasury?

‘Lesbian Visibility Week’ causes panic amongst US right-wingers, raising fears that invisible lesbians have been walking among unsuspecting Americans for years. Calls to protect American women from sexually rampant unseen lesbians who could be lurking in any elevator, changing room or bathroom.