Beleaguered Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is hoping to regain his political standing with a bold programme of constitutional reform, with the aim of bringing the glamour of show business to the mother of Parliaments. “I want to bring Parliament into the twenty first century and tap into...

“It’s a proven historical fact that watching the antics of the fabulously rich and privileged does more to boost the morale of the poor and deprived during a time of austerity than any amount of welfare or job creation schemes,” says John Dick-Wadd of the right wing political think tank...

Has Top Gear presenter and prize cock end Jeremy Clarkson inadvertently blown the lid on a sinister new government plot? Top conspiracy theorist Will Cupstock believes that Clarkson’s recent controversial remarks on a BBC chat show contain important clues as to a secret government policy to...

“I know it isn’t what people want to hear, but world peace is bad for business,” declares former UK Ministry of Defence adviser Alan Wickler. “Besides, it simply isn’t natural – the truth is that people love a good war. It brings communities together, builds character and keeps...

“He woke up in bed next to a dead hooker – you should have seen the look on his face!  He was white as a sheet and shrieking with terror! I really thought he was going to crap himself!”  chortles Old Etonian Dickie Throbbington-Heyes, as he recalls the 1990 Bullingdon Club jape which...

The government’s so-called ‘Free Schools’ – semi-independent schools set up by groups and individuals outside of direct local government control – are proving controversial, with one such establishment, staffed by ex-military personnel and run like a military academy, hitting the...

“It was all that bloody bear’s fault, coming up here mauling local youths, the white bastard,” twenty three year old Tottenham resident Doug Frottle told The Sleaze. “I mean, I didn’t see it myself, but I heard it on the news. One minute some kids are being chewed up by a bear,...

Embattled Liberal Democrat leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is apparently facing a new threat to his position in government from an unlikely source – Larry the Downing Street cat. “There’s no doubt that Nick Clegg is bloody worried by the immediate impact Larry’s...

“It’s all a fake, everybody knows that Osama bin Laden died sometime before 2007 and was replaced by a double,” claims Arthur Funhatch, one of a growing number of conspiracy theorists questioning the official US government account of the terror leader’s death. “The key evidence are...

“Quite frankly, we decided that this was the easiest way to recover the debt,” Prime Minister David Cameron today told the Commons, as he defended the recent actions of his Chancellor and First Secretary of the Treasury. “Once the Icelandic people had voted against repaying...

“There’s no doubt that Hague’s got his mojo back – as soon as the first missile was launched at Libya, he was moaning in ecstasy and pounding the cabinet room table with his fist,” alleges former Downing Street aide Jim Stonkwell, whose amazing claims have raised the possibility that...

“When Cameron started going on about how he was going to declare war on the enemies of enterprise, I thought he meant he was going to crack down on the Klingons,” says forty-nine year old Len Griddles, as he hides in the wreckage of his Middlesbrough home, attempting to evade marauding...

“Well, it’s quite obvious that prison doesn’t work – they’re full of innocent people. I know, I’ve visited them and spoken to the inmates,” declared Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke at a press conference last week. “Every other one told me how they’d been ‘fitted up’ by...

Is the British Prime Minister being blackmailed by one of the world’s top media magnates? That’s the astonishing claim being made by a former tabloid reporter. “What else do you think that secret meeting over Christmas between Rupert Murdoch’s people and Cameron was about? And why else...

“It’s the perfect way to destroy this infidel celebration of debauchery – turning its own most potent symbol against it,” declares self-proclaimed al-Qaeda operative Marek El Luny in his latest You Tube video, as he proudly demonstrates his latest weapon in his glorious fight against...

British Prime Minister David Cameron has bowed to pressure and taken his official pornographers off of the public payroll. “It was a bloody disgrace,” says top trade unionist Teddy Screwer. “His government is busy cutting the jobs of tens of thousands of public servants, and Cameron is...

“I don’t know why people are complaining about these government spending cuts and the ‘Big Society’ – it’s the best bloody thing that’s ever happened,” declares Albert Diggcock, as he fixes another cannon to the bow of his tiny yacht. ...

With a recently convicted former Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) employee having told a court that voices in his head had told him to try and sell secret documents, and another SIS analyst found murdered after allegedly being involved in London’s gay S&M scene, serious doubts are...

Hard on the heels of the resignation of a special advisor to Foreign Secretary William Hague amidst allegations of an ‘inappropriate relationship’ between the two men, the coalition government has been rocked by another sex scandal, with claims that senior minister is secretly...

New details of the recent negotiations which culminated in the shotgun marriage of David Cameron and Nick Clegg, to consummate the new Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government have emerged. “It was clear from the outset that there was, undoubtedly, a strong mutual...

With opinion polls still pointing toward a hung parliament, there have been claims that the Conservative Party is secretly examining alternative poll strategies. “It’s quite clear that actually laying out policies isn’t going down too well with the electorate –...

There are fears that some of the country’s top political figures could be cracking up under the pressures of electioneering, after former Tory leader William Hague apparently admitted that, for several months, he had suspected that current Conservative leader David Cameron was merely a...

The British National Party (BNP) today kicked off its General Election campaign with the launch of its new energy policy, with proposals to rename the National Grid the British National Grid, and to introduce a new energy tariff based upon ethnicity. “It’s only right that British...

Is David Cameron planning a military coup? With the Tories’ opinion poll lead slipping, and a hung parliament seeming the most likely outcome of this year’s general election, fears are growing that the Conservative leader might attempt to seize power through military force. A...

The Cabinet Secretary Gus O’Donnell has angrily denied that he had to issue Prime Minister Gordon Brown with a verbal warning, following complaints from Downing Street staff that Brown had savaged several of them during the last full moon. “These claims are absolutely...

A newspaper columnist has sensationally claimed that al Qeada is not an Islamic fundamentalist terror group, but actually it is a front for a coalition of environmental and naturist groups. “It’s quite obvious,” ranted John Barnyard in his column in The Shite. “What...

Britain’s porn industry last week heaved a collective sigh of relief, following the release of celebrated adult film performer Keith Nutsack (known professionally as Rod Walloper), who had been held hostage in Gaza by militant Palestinian porn producers for over three months. “It...