Category: Pop Culture

The Show Goes On?

As UK goes into lockdown, popular culture struggles to deal with restrictions imposed by social distancing rules in order to ensure that it is show business as usual. Proposals for gossip columnists to simulate celebrity incidents with dolls while suggestions that football season be continued via Subuteo mooted.

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Dead Good TV

Could grave robbing for entertainment make for great TV? Fan suggests radical new format for ‘Masked Singer’, featuring dead celebrities revived as zombies by necromancy beneath masks. Is the elephant Elvis? Dead good TV or just bad taste?

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Celebrity Cull

Do we need to start culling celebrities? Any celebrity expressing idiotic or ill informed opinions should be targeted for culling, experts suggest amid fears that TV reality and talent shows creating too many low quality celebrities.

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The Great British Porn Challenge

Reality TV show that gets participants to film own adult movies is latest UK viewing sensation. ‘Great British Porn Challenge’ hailed as greatest TV phenomenon since ‘Great British Bake Off’. Makers claim series aims to revive lost skills of adult movie production in the UK.

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Spanked by the Swastika

Several old cans of film dug up from a field reveal a sensational wartime secret involving a lost British pornographic propaganda film. Was ‘Spanked by the Swastika’ banned because of fears it made Nazis sexually attractive, or because it made bondage available to the masses?

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The Wet Sell

Will male incontinence products be the next advertising phenomena? With women’s incontinence products market now saturated, advertisers turning to male equivalents, promising ‘Wet Sell’ to make rubber pants and adult nappies to cater for binge drinking and curry consequences sexy.

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Casting Cats

Fury over trailer for new film version of ‘Cats’ – critics accuse makers of prejudice due to failure to cast real cats. Claim use of human actors playing felines as bad as white actors blacking up to play negro roles. Casting allegedly part of media’s pro-dog, anti-cat, agenda.

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Unreal Ales

Can the Campaign for Real Ale tell the difference between effluent and craft beer? While real ale buffs enthuse over new brew, micro brewery owner accused of brewing unreal ales from raw sewage as part of revenge plot for loss of local pub.

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Calling Call My Bluff’s Bluff

Was genteel and pseudo-intellectual British TV game show Call My Bluff actually an instrument of government oppression?
Top conspiracy theorist claims show part of establishment conspiracy to subvert English language, thereby redefining the way we view certain issues.

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Killer Drillers

What is Drill Rap? Is it a new power tool based youth craze, or a sinister military parade inspired dance movement? UK media commentators ridiculed for ignorance of musical genre they are blaming for current wave of London youth violence.

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Night Caller

Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight. The deep voiced mystery man then proceeds to probe them on the most intimate aspects of their lives, claiming that the conversation is being broadcast to the nation on Radio Midnight.

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Taking Back the Streets

Man startled by ‘living statue’ vows to ‘take back the streets from the street entertainers’, Claims that public spaces increasingly cluttered by presence of untalented and intimidating street ‘performers’. War declared on jugglers, buskers, living statues and other ‘performers’ of no artistic merit.

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Match Made in Heaven?

Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.

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Marriage of Inconvenience

Despite recent Royal Wedding boosting popularity of matrimony in the UK, growing numbers of single people continue to believe in inconvenience of marriage. Consequently, wedding-themed magazine proposes self-marriage service allowing singles to walk down the aisle with themselves.

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I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out

Is new exploitation movie ‘I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out’ pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?

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Pop Shots

Which Spice Girl is Your Masturbatory Fantasy? That’s the question we’re asking in our fabulous new competition as we try to lay to rest one of the great unanswered questions of the nineties – was it Spicy, Scary, Posh or Baby who inspired the most pop shots. For balance, we’re also asking the ladies – which celebrity has the biggest schlong?

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