Category: Weird

Down With Xmas!

Man Punches Out Salvation Army Officer for Wishing Him an Unsolicited ‘Happy Christmas’. So Called ‘Man Who Hate Christmas’ Plans to Sabotage Yuletide by Poisoning Supermarket Seasonal Foodstuffs with own Excrement.

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No Sex Please!

Man banned from having sexual intercourse without giving police forty eight hours notice. Authorities claim his orgasms so powerful they induce frenzied sexual activity in anyone in close proximity.

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Bugger Boris

Is Boris Johnson the notorious Balham Buggerer? Top paranormal investigator claims Boris’ inner Turk unleashed under stress as he regresses into Turkish great grandfather to commit depravities.

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Destroy All Beards

Are HIpster Beards Really Alien Parasites? Is Human Race’s Only Hope a Salesman Capable of Destroying Horrible Hipster Beards Through the Power of His Mind?

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Dead Sexy

Were Successive Nazi, Soviet and US Attempts to Create ‘Dead Sexy’ Soldiers Capable of Using Sexual Energies to Remotely Kill Inspired by Secret Buddhist Priesthood? Did President Kennedy Fall Prey to Russian ‘Sex Assassin’?

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Christmas Curse!

English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is ‘Christmastein Monster’ Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?

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The Haunted Trousers

Are Man’s Trousers Haunted by Evil Spirit of Sex Offender? Exorcism Performed on Possessed Pantaloons Following Paranormal Phenomena in Groin Area, Including Ectoplasm and Bizarre Bulging!

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Erotic Apocalypse

Experts warn of ‘erotic apocalypse’ if public given access to recently uncovered ancient pornography. UK government seeks to suppress addictive classical smut amid fears that its potency could destroy civilisation.

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Conspiracy of the Insignificant

Bilderberg is not the only conspiracy, claims journalist. What is secret of mystery group which meets at budget hotels? Is there a ‘Conspiracy of the Insignificant’?

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Titanic Conspiracy

Did Titanic Really Sink in 1912? Conspiracy Theorist Sensationally Claims that Liner Still Afloat and Hosting Cabal of Immortal Celebrities Who Faked Own Deaths!

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The Conspiracy Man

Top Conspiracy Theorist Rocked by Revelation that he May be a Fabrication. Fears That he is Actually a Deep Cover Establishment Operative Conducting False Flag Operations and Spreading Disinformation.

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What Lies Beneath

Were UK’s Recent Earthquakes Caused by the Mole Men? Rogue Geologist Claims Underground Dwellers Retaliating for Damage Caused by Fracking. Press Fears Mole Men Activities Could Depress House Prices.

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The Ghost Gropers

Does Saying Jimmy Savile’s Name Five Times Summon Sex Offender’s Ghost? Fears that Britain’s Youth Putting Themselves in Supernatural Sex Peril as Dangerous Halloween Craze Sweeps Nation!

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Right is Wrong

Were the Nazis Really the Good Guys? Were the Allied Leaders Really Child Sacrificing Satanists? Top Conspiracy Theorist Claims Conventional History a Deception to Conceal Incredible Truth!

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Counter Crop World

Do Crop Circles Herald Invasion of Mirror People From a Counter Earth? Top Conspiracy Theorist Claims Upsurge in Evil due to Replacement of Leading Politicians, Bankers and Celebrities With Evil Counterparts!

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Flight of Fancy

Is Notorious Prankster Behind Disappearance of Malaysian Airways Flight MH370? Police Search Garage and Garden Shed of Maidenhead Practical Joker After Tip-Off That Hijacked Passengers Sold into Slavery at Local Chinese Restaurants!

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