Dead and Unburied

Police raid on chain of budget undertakers reveal alleged running corpses-for-hire racket. Were dead bodies being rented out to fill out sparse crowds at football matches, concerts and Tory party meetings? Anti-immigration political candidate claims some bodies skinned to provide ‘suits’ for illegals to pass for white!

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Shoot Them All

Is the UK’s population really predominantly made up of foaming at the mouth extreme right-wing bigots, as the media would have us believe? Or is the self-styled ‘silent majority’ really just a ‘very loud minority’ trying to drown out the voices of the decent majority? Should we simply put them all against a wall and shoot them in order to restore sanity?

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Ten Trumps That Shook The World

Are the world’s cities under attack from titanic human trumps? Top scientists claim recent series of city levelling natural disasters actually caused by huge vegan farts. Are a group of vegan extremists holding world to ransom, threatening to global destruction unless whole globe gives up animal products?

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Forget the Alamo!

Americans urged to ‘forget the Alamo’ as calls to expel Texas from the Union grow. With ‘Lone Star State’ refusing to implement Federal laws on border controls, top politicians suggest State should either become independent or rejoin Mexico. Mexicans unenthusiastic at prospect of subsequent ‘Gringo invasion’ if latter occurs.

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Is Trump Senile?

Is Donald Trump senile? Ex-President’s mental fitness for office called into question after alleged bizarre behaviour, including urinating on supporters at rally. Fans claim Democrat conspiracy to deflect attention from President Biden’s senility. Critics claim wealthy Trump backers believe dementia struck Trump would make White House easier to control.

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All Flesh is Meat

Is a Washington fast food joint actually a front for a child cannibalism cult serving flesh burgers to liberal degenerates? As acolytes of latest crazy right wing conspiracy theory attack burger restaurant, experts dismiss claims as being yet more extremist fantasies and label its followers as ‘deluded’.

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Invasion of the Houthis

As social media debates whether Hamas and the Houthis are savage alien invaders or some kind of musical act, questions are raised as to current standard of online political discourse. Is online ignorance part of far right strategy to promote conspiracy fantasies and false narratives in order to smother rational debate?

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Right-Wing Fantasy Island

As Stephen Hawking revealed to have been guest on Epstein’s right-wing fantasy island, conspiracy theorists speculate as to how quadriplegic physicist was able to participate in alleged orgies? Did it involve mechanical assistance, advanced puppetry or even magic? Are right-wingers using Epstein affair to project own perverted fantasies onto opponents?

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New Year, Old Irritations

Is New Year an instantly disappointing celebration? After all, everything that was wrong on December 31st is still going to be wrong on January 1st, despite all the celebrations, resolutions and euphoria. We say goodbye to our troubles only to say hello again a moment later….

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Holy Grope

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he counsels a man accused of perpetrating a ‘Holy Grope’. Spiritual healer or sex offender? Man accused of abusing his healing gifts for sexual gratification.

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The Cult of Santa

A series a child disappearances from Santa’s grottos all over UK raises fears of seasonal peadophile ring operating in shopping centres. Others speculate Santa kidnapping kids to break North Pole elf strike. Top folklorist fears the abductions are the work of the sinister Cult of Santa in furtherance of its aim to resurrect the one true Santa.

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It’s a Good Life on the Streets

Is homelessness just a lifestyle choice? Top Tory MP claims people are just dropping out of their regular lives to enjoy benefits of living tax and responsibility free on the streets – calls for them to be rounded up and sent to Rwanda. Also targets pensioners for making lifestyle choice to be old and live off of the state – should they be euthanised?

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Raining Rubbish

After refuse-filled missile strikes Brussels, spewing stinking household waste across city, UK is accused of running secret scheme to dispose of its rubbish by firing it off in rockets. Despite denials by British authorities, suspicions linger that rain of effluent over German city might also have been from malfunctioning UK waste disposal missile.

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Bloody Black Friday

Sinister shopping cult plans human sacrifice to ensure good bargain hunting at this year’s ‘Black Friday’ sales. Seeking ‘Black Friday’ virgin to be burned to death in giant wicker cash register. Academic speculates that ‘Black Friday’ shopping frenzy is cultural reincarnation of pagan ‘Wild Hunt’.

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Hallucinogenic Halloween

Town calls for Halloween to be banned after drugged up ‘Trick or Treaters’ go on homicidal rampage after being given hallucinogens disguised as sweets. Further mayhem caused by Suella Braverman-masked teenagers harassing immigrants and asylum seekers with threats of deportation if Halloween treats not forthcoming.

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The Madness of Modern Shopping

When is a packet of chocolate covered peanuts not a packet of chocolate covered peanuts? An impulse purchase in Tesco Metro leads Doc Sleaze into the labyrinth that is the madness of modern shopping when the peanuts he tries to pay for turn out to be non-existent, according to the shop whose shelves they are on.

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Spectral Exposure

Is a phantom flasher terrorising an English town? Are local children being subjected to spectral exposure by a vengeful spirit? As local vigilantes dig up local graveyards in search of deceased sex offender, spirit itself contacts medium to protest innocence of peadophilia in life, claiming post-mortem antics are payback against his former persecutors.

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Confessions of a Modern Day Ghost Hunter

Britain’s top ghost hunter discusses his most mind-boggling cases. From toilet-blocking phantom stools in Trowbridge to the ghostly talking anus of Plymouth and the moaning nun of Minehead, our leading paranormal investigator explains why restless ghosts are moving into our modern, new build, houses.

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Going Down in Flames

Is Sunak’s Tory government aiming to hasten global apocalypse with its reckless anti-green policies? Are the Tories’ increasingly extreme right-wing policies on everything from the environment to human rights the result of a diabolical pact which will guarantee a special self-governing Tory Hell if they do Satan’s work and engineer end of world?

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Stop the Saucers!

Are flying saucers the new ‘small boats’ in the fight against illegal immigration to the UK? UFO expert claims spaceships dropping off huge numbers of literal illegal aliens by night in UK. Are creatures from outer space stealing our jobs, benefits and women? Counter claims of secret government deal with aliens to take human illegal immigrants off-world for ‘processing’.

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