Suburban Sex Machines

With sex becoming fashionable in London, with erotic boutiques offering women designer dildos and vibrators opening in the West End, this issue The Sleaze takes a look at the other end of the scale – the growing number of enthusiastic amateurs developing their own sex machines and bondage gear in their own homes. Increasingly, adverts are appearing in the specialist press, and websites springing up on the internet, offering penetration and stimulation devices with names such as the Beaver Beater, the Fanny Batterer, the Donkey Flogger, the Snake Milker, the Ladies Delight and the French Polisher, claiming to be able to offer the customer a range of experiences normally only available from specialist establishments, in the privacy of their own homes. In search of these erotic devices and their intrepid inventors, we travelled to Surbiton, a leafy suburb of London considered by many to be the epicentre of amateur shagging machine development, in order to meet a leading designer.

Outwardly, Melvin Gink, a 45 year old civil servant, appears to be the stereotypical suburban commuter. However, from the garage of his modest 1940s semi-detached house he has designed and built some of Britain’s most sought after mechanical sex aids. “This, the Driller Thriller, was my first,” he told us, proudly displaying what appeared to be an electric drill with a huge rubber dildo in place of a bit. “Its very simple, but satisfying, and can be used both vaginally and anally – its main disadvantage is that it needs an operator to hold it and provide it with lateral thrust, solo use isn’t possible.” Most of Gink’s subsequent devices have followed a similar principle to the Driller Thriller – the adaptation of a simple household device, usually a power tool.

“The Pussy Whipper was the next innovation. Again it is adapted from an electric drill, this time with modified gearing so that the speed can be varied – at low speeds it gives a mild, quite pleasurable, slapping, at high speed it can spank a woman’s front bottom red raw in minutes,” Gink explained as he showed us another drill, this time with strips of leather attached to its bit and mounted on a steel arm. “When the subject’s legs are secured in a wide apart stance, the Pussy Whipper can be brought in to do its job – at low speeds it can run for up to six hours before overheating.” A heavy duty penetrating device – the Intruder – is fashioned from an angle grinder with a crank replacing the circular blade, this in turn operates a long rod with a huge dildo on the end. The whole contraption is mounted on a metal frame, apparently constructed from Meccano. “Its designed to give a degree of thrust and penetration which no normal man can match – currently its geared to give a long, leisurely stimulation, it easily exceeds ordinary male stamina,” says Gink, adding that he hopes soon to modify the Intruder to include a vibrating tip.

His latest innovation – still in the experimental stage – is a suction device, the Jug Milker, derived from a powerful cyclone action vacuum cleaner. “It is designed to be used on either the breasts or vagina – I’m working on a twin nozzle arrangement to allow both breasts to be simultaneously sucked – and the suction action can be pulsed to give maximum stimulation,” he enthused. “The carpet shampooing function of the original vacuum cleaner opens up the exciting possibility of adapting its spray and pump actions to deliver warm soapy enemas.”

In addition to his shagging machines, Gink also produces his own bondage equipment. “Most people are put off of bondage because of the perceived cost – they assume they have to buy a lot of expensive specialist gear,” opines Gink. “In fact, most of what you need can be found in the average home. For instance, why buy expensive nipple and clitoral clamps when ordinary clothes pegs can do the job just as well?” Indeed, Gink’s first bondage device was very simple. “I had my wife suspended from one of those ceiling mounted clothes airers in our kitchen. Unfortunately, the rope I used wasn’t strong enough and she crashed down through the kitchen table – luckily it wasn’t damaged,” he reminisces. In fact, Gink’s wife has been a willing guinea pig for all of his sex machines. “I used to strap her to the kitchen table and give the full works, but we soon stopped doing that as it was very unhygienic – I mean, people have to eat off of that table.”

Gink proceeded to show us his spare bedroom, which he has converted into a fully-equipped bondage parlour where he and his wife now test his devices. Ropes and manacles dangle from ceiling beams, whilst an old wooden bed frame is set up with restraints for spread-eagle ties and an old tubular steel hat-stand has been converted into a whipping post. However, the room is dominated by a home-made rack, apparently constructed from a telescopic ladder laid horizontal and fitted with a manual cranking mechanism. “The crank came from a car jack,” Gink confirmed. “As long as its kept well greased, it operates perfectly.” Gink revealed that he and his wife find their bondage/mechanical stimulation sessions so satisfying that they have not engaged in normal penetrative sex since 1991. “This provides all the stimulation we need, my machines never tire nor do they suffer from impotence or premature ejaculation. Also, its so much less messy than the alternative” he says. “My best climaxes have come whilst handling my devices. In fact, my very first erection was at the age of eight, whilst leaning against my mother’s washing machine whilst it was on its spin cycle.”