Are senior Labour party figures secretly planning to replace Jeremy Corbyn and Tom Watson with robots? Leadership ‘upgrade’ seen as essential after trials show mechanical leadership more charismatic and popular with voters.
Right wingers demand EU ‘clean beaches’ regulations be abolished post-‘Brexit’, Demand right to dump British sewage on British beaches without EU interference. Suggestions that immigrants’ excrement should be repatriated to countries of origin.
Is alleged ‘Robot Suicide Bomber’ that took out episode of ‘Robot Wars’ vanguard of new ‘Techno Terror’ campaign by Isis? Fears that household appliances could be reprogrammed into killers by radicalised repair men after housewife suffers near fatal washing machine assault.
Is main bidder for BBC weather forecasting contract involved in manipulating weather to fix outcome of sporting events for shady Far Eastern betting syndicates? Amazing claims made by investigative journalist!
Do Tory Plans to Use Large Hadron Collider to Shift UK into Deficit-Free Dimension Threaten Fabric of Reality? Scientist Warns Experiment Could Unleash Hordes of Extra-Dimensional Monsters onto Britain’s Streets.