Is there a secret project to divert asteroid to hit the earth, specifically targeting Trump White House? Amazing claims that European governments engaged in secret project to smash US East Coast with meteor in attempt to rid the world of MAGA scourge.
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Top British racist agitator claims last year’s race riots failed due to intervention of ‘League of Asian Superheroes’ using their powers to protect asylum seekers from violent thugs. Did UK government experiments to feed Punjabi women radioactive chapatis in the sixties create race of super-powered Asian mutants?
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Is the US a nation of psychopaths who have chosen to elect a president who aligns with their own disturbed and deranged mind-set? From their celebration of lawlessness in the Old West to their obsession with personal ownership of lethal weapons as a personal right, the average American exhibits many of the key traits of the psychopath…
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Trump stuns allies with plans to redevelop post-war Ukraine into ‘Riviera of the Black Sea’. Ukrainian population to be relocated to annexed Canada as Trump demonstrates ‘Art of the Steal’ in peace negotiations with Putin as he aims to add Ukraine to Gaza in his property portfolio.
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Is Elon Musk’s disenchantment with current state of European neo-fascism driving him to create the ‘perfect Nazi’? Warnings that the billionaire plans to create ‘clockwork Nazis’ embodying Aryan ideals of genetic perfection using advanced robotics and AI which will lead new European fascist movement.
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Should all creative activity be handed over to Artificial Intelligence? With writers, actors, directors and other creatives increasingly being ‘outed’ as sex offenders, religious freaks, animal molesters and Nazis, top science fiction writer claims that AI created fiction, films and TV would save fans from emotional trauma of having to constantly cancel their idols.
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Was the burning down of Mel Gibson’s house in California wildfires a case of divine judgement? Was the Almighty trying to tell Mel to walk back the anti-Semitism, misogyny and crazy right wing politics? Conservatives dismiss idea, instead claiming fires more likely a judgment on modern Soddom and Gomorrah that is liberal Hollywood. Either that, or ‘Jewish Space Lasers’ are being used to target industry conservatives.
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Has Elon Musk been inspired to try and become a super villain as a result of his father’s involvement in building Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s space laser in 1971? Is X owner planning to destroy UK government via social media rather than space laser? Is Musk ultimately too limited in his vision to be true super villain?
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UK press accused of being over reliant upon supposed high-level confidential sources rather than investigative journalism after bishop falsely accused of defecating on neighbour’s lawn. Top academic claims most sources actually nosy neighbours and local voyeurs peddling rumour and innuendo. Are facts now obsolete in journalism?
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Are you scared yet? You should be, according to the UK’s media. If you don’t freeze to death in the blizzards they predict, then you’ll be murdered in your beds by immigrants, nuked by Putin or attacked by household appliances powered by Chinese technology! But don’t worry, you can be perfectly safe if only you’d vote Tory….
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Are modern nativity plays too woke? Top conservative columnist complains of too much ‘inclusiveness’ including shepherds played by little girls, Chinese wise men and grifting pregnant refugees. Is Christmas itself, with its socialist calls for ‘goodwill to all men’ and ‘peace on earth’, being hijacked by the ‘wokerati’?
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Top PR guru outlines how recently deposed Syrian dictator Bashar al Assad can be rehabilitated and returned to ranks of international elite. Are charitable causes – especially for sick children – key to reputation recovery? Is it true that any monster can be rehabilitated, regardless of their crimes and misbehaviour, simply by re-casting themselves as the victim?
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Is it ‘Ready, Steady, Cock’ as top BBC food presenter Gregg Wallace stands accused of sexual misconduct? Lurid new claims of Wallace painting genitals green and pretending they were vegetables during time as greengrocer spark fears that media being flooded with ludicrous fake allegations as part of campaign to discredit original accusations.
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Will Church of England run talent contest to select new Archbishop of Canterbury? Could new Archbishop come from outside denomination? Claims that candidate ‘auditions’ so far have included Voodoo witch doctors sacrificing chickens at evensong and Satanists practicing Black Mass, orgies and buggery at Sunday service.
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Do CIA and FBI have contingency plans to assassinate Trump if he goes full on fascist in his second term? Journalist claims plans to ensure ‘Fat Boy Has Fallen’ via exploding women, poisonous golden showers and deadly burgers in place. But with Trump cabinet packed with extremist cranks, will taking out just Trump be enough to avert fascist dystopia?
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Is techno-jerk-in-chief Elon Musk planning to inseminate Mars with his phallic rockets loaded with his own seed in hope of creating super race? Top tech figures claim the Trump-ass-kisser extraordinaire’s human intimacy problems also driving him to develop sex robot for remote sex with earth women in order to propagate his ‘superior’ DNA.
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