Man threatens to sue NHS for reviving him from clinical death. Claims medics’ actions wrenched him unwillingly from heavenly paradise. Controversially claims hereafter is eternal pub presided over by Christ the Geezer.
Just what is the truth behind the Third Secret of Sutton Coldfield? Why is it being suppressed by the Vatican? Conspiracy theorist claims it prophesises gay pope, thereby threatening whole basis of Catholicism.
Does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn possess divine powers? Supporters tell of Corbyn’s seemingly miraculous ability to defeat government without winning Commons votes. Socialist Messiah or useless crackpot?
Is alleged ‘Robot Suicide Bomber’ that took out episode of ‘Robot Wars’ vanguard of new ‘Techno Terror’ campaign by Isis? Fears that household appliances could be reprogrammed into killers by radicalised repair men after housewife suffers near fatal washing machine assault.
Florida Preacher Denies Exploiting Orlando Shootings to try and ‘Cure’ Homosexuals by Organising Donations of ‘Heterosexual’ blood for Injured. Claims Two Pints of ‘Real American’ Blood Will turn Recipient Straight.
Where is Jesus? With the Messiah Sixteen Years Overdue for Second Coming, We’re Offering Five Pounds to the Reader Who Spots Him. Remember, You Must be Carrying a Bible and Say ‘You Are Jesus Christ and I Claim my Five Pounds’ When you See Him to be Eligible for the Prize.
Have Muslim Extremists Sought Supernatural Assistance from Ancient Egyptian Goddess to Conquer Iraq? Did Hitler Invoke Cult of Isis to Send Living Mummys Against Red Army? Historian’s Bizarre Claims Provoke Outrage!
Top Tory Minister Believes Rapture Has Occurred! Those Left Behind – The Poor and Infirm – Are Sinners and Must be Punished in Order to Gain Redemption! Amazing Claims that Ian Duncan Smith’s Welfare Policy Influenced by Shady Christian Fundamentalist Group!