Tag: tory sleaze

Machine Politics

Are Britain’s Political Leaders Robots Dedicated to Destruction of Mankind? Top Tech Writer Claims Machine Politics of Tories Dehumanising Population in Readiness for Total Robot Takeover!

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Parliamentary Nudes

Government in Disarray as Stolen Nude Photos of Top Tory Ministers Released Online! Identity of Hackers Behind Naked Tory Scandal a Mystery – Muslim Extremists Suspected!

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Rough Trade

Rent-Boys March on Parliament in Protest at Tory MP’s Use of Brazilian Male Escort. Accuse Tories of Being Unpatriotic, Insisting that ‘British Bottoms are Better’.

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High Office

Was Maggie Thatcher a coke fiend? Former MP sensationally claims late Prime Minister’s success entirely down to drug use! Alleges her most successful policies result of Premier being off her face!

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Porn to Rule

Why is UK Government Obsessed With Internet Porn? Does Online Filth Really Threaten to Undermine Britain’s Economy? Or do Tories Simply Want to Restrict Working Class Access to Free Smut?

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Head of State

Did David Cameron Use Severed Head of Lady Thatcher to Try and Turn Opponents to Stone? Downing Street Angrily Dismisses Bizarre Claims that Tories Plan Disembodied Head Worshipping ‘Cult of Thatcher’!

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Who Killed Maggie Thatcher?

Who Killed Maggie Thatcher? Was Former PM Victim of Conspiracy to Cover Up Involvement of Establishment Figures in Jimmy Savile Sex Scandal? Political Commentator’s Bizarre Claims Condemned by Both Left and Right!

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Horsing Around

Former Tory Minister Claims Britain’s 2012 Olympic Success Result of Athletes Unwittingly Eating Horse Meat! Alleges Secret Policy to Introduce Horse into Working Class Diet Implemented in 1990s Following Humiliation of 1996 Olympics!

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Citizen Pain

Is government’s new citizenship test part of sinister right-wing plot to disenfranchise poor? Amazing allegations that Downing Street will make test compulsory for poor with those failing deported to offshore sweat shops!

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Horror Tory

Is top Tory Lord actually a vampire? Former Conservative Party Treasurer threatens to sue over allegations of involvement in bloodsucking at 1970s girls’ reform school!

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Fixing Jim

Did Jimmy Savile Sexually Abuse Entire UK Population? As Number of Dead DJ’s Alleged Victims Proliferates, Top Cop Claims Savile Used Hypnotic Powers to Abuse UK Through Their TVs!

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Dishonourable Members

Was the Thatcher-era Conservative Party a hot bed of sexual depravity? Former party official’s claims of S&M orgies attended by top Tories and celebrities at conferences dismissed by current party leadership as outrageous lies!

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Dead Perverted

Who were Jimmy Savile’s celebrity co-conspirators in alleged 1970s BBC child sex ring? Mrs Thatcher and Prince Charles implicated in top-level cover-up of dead DJ’s activities as tabloids desperately attempt to keep story going!

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Sexually Offensive

Outrage as Tory MP Proposes Reform of Law on Sex Offences! Right-Winger Seeks to ‘Decriminalise Natural Male Sexual Urges’ by Legalising Groping and Indecent Exposure!

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Sexual Benefits

Are young unemployed people being forced into prostitution by the government? Outrage at claims that young unemployed threatened with benefits being stopped if they refuse ‘work experience’ as rent-boys and prostitutes.

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Bed and Buggery

Peeping Toms for God? Controversial Bishop Supports Voyeuristic Bed and Breakfast Proprietors in Fight to Prevent Themselves From Being Exposed to Gay Sex!

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