Tag: politics

Sick and Depraved?

Islamic State joins Prime Minister in condemning ‘sick and depraved’ Westminster terror attack by militant sexual deviants. Sex-based outrage sees naked man trying to batter way into Parliament with erect penis and groups of deviants performing exotic sex acts in front of commuters on Westminster Bridge.

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Turning on Trump

Did Trump’s CIA hacked TV capture footage of president pleasuring himself to TV programme? Experts fear presidential ‘sex video’ could now be in hands of Wikileaks. Did Nigel Farage visit Julian Assange in attempt to retrieve video on behalf of Trump?

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Mechanized Labour

Are senior Labour party figures secretly planning to replace Jeremy Corbyn and Tom Watson with robots? Leadership ‘upgrade’ seen as essential after trials show mechanical leadership more charismatic and popular with voters.

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Rise of the Robots

Experts warn that within years robots will be able to carry out any human job. Where next for humanity, as even robot beggars predicted for near future?

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Alternative Facts

Is Trump adviser Steve Bannon actually a tramp? Does Trump throttle vagrants to death with his bare hands? Meet the man who manufactures such ‘alternative facts’ in the name of political balance.

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Going Green

Corbyn unveils plans to combat British vegetable famine, whilst government denies plans for rationing and powdered vegetables. Greens welcome proposals to turn whole UK into giant market garden.

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Virtual Jihadi

Parents shocked as second hand video game turns out to be Jihadi suicide bomber simulator. Warnings that charity shops could be flooded with used virtual terrorism games simulating JIhadist attacks.

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Corbyn’s Got Talent

Jeremy Corbyn to enter ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ as part of new media strategy. Advisers believe Labour Leader’s musical fruit act will demonstrate his populist appeal.

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Throw a Brick at the Homeless

Is Right Wing News Site’s Xmas Appeal Encouraging Followers to Throw Bricks at Homeless? Editor Claims he’s Merely Trying to Provide Rough Sleepers with Means to Build Own Homes.

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Left is Right

Is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn actually a deep cover Tory mole on a mission to destroy the party from within? Academic makes sensational claims that supposed left winger is actually trying to alienate voters to ensure Tory hegemony.

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We Trump in Peace

Is Donald Trump Behind Global Warming? Amazing Allegations President-elect Attempting to Alter Earth’s Climate to Facilitate Alien Colonisation! Conspiracy Theorists Argue as o Whether Trump Alien, Lizard or Commie!

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Grabbed by the Octopussy?

Octopuses to sue after Donald Trump described as being all over alleged groping victim ‘like an octopus’. Object to defamatory implication they are all sex offenders. Counter claim Trump is victimising them after ‘grab them by the octopussy’ remark.

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Save the Children

Britain’s peadophiles complain that too many unaccompanied refugee children arriving in UK are actually adults. Demand tougher age tests to ensure that the government only save the children for them, not over age impostors.

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Medical Magic

Government plans to break junior doctors’ dispute by using blackleg alternative medical practitioners, including voodoo priests, spiritualists and shamans, revealed. Patients complain of use of animal sacrifices instead of pharmaceuticals.

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Dumping Europe

Right wingers demand EU ‘clean beaches’ regulations be abolished post-‘Brexit’, Demand right to dump British sewage on British beaches without EU interference. Suggestions that immigrants’ excrement should be repatriated to countries of origin.

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Saint Corbyn

Does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn possess divine powers? Supporters tell of Corbyn’s seemingly miraculous ability to defeat government without winning Commons votes. Socialist Messiah or useless crackpot?

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