Tag: politics

Tory Death Cult

Is the Tory Party under Boris Johnson actually a death cult? Top political analyst claims Tory supporters being lead into oblivion by a false Messiah.

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Manifesto Madness

Does Labour have ‘Manifesto of Madness’ designed to undermine middle class conservatism through compulsory drug taking and homosexuality? Extraordinary claims by Tories that Corbyn victory would mean ‘enforced permissiveness’.

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National Death Service

Is Britain’s National Health Service being transformed into a ‘National Death Service’? Activist argues Tories turning NHS into institution for mass euthanasia of poor, disabled and elderly.

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The Turning of Nigel Farage

Has Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage been converted to the cause of Remain? Has he been secretly brain-washed by EU with aim of sabotaging latest Bexit deal? Or is he victim of black magic plot on part of powerful witch doctor and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn?

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Boris and the Beast

Is Boris Johnson the reincarnation of neolithic sex beast? Incredible claims that Prime Minister’s alleged groping of women is result of this bestial past life involuntarily reasserting itself. Claims that other right wing leaders also apes in past lives.

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Smash and Grab?

Parliamentarians fear any attempt to arrest law breaking Prime Minister Boris Johnson might result in parliament being smashed by his Hulk alter ego. Experts, however, believe if Johnson allowed to break law with impunity, law breaking will be legitimised and the UK overwhelmed by lawlessness.

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Broken Up Britain

If Brexit has ‘broken’ Britain, with opinion on leave or remain splitting the population down the middle, is the solution to break up Britain? Cross party political group propose North-South split, with South staying in EU and North cast adrift. Strict North to South immigration rules suggested to protect Southern jobs.

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Trump Island

Is government planning to sell UK to Donald Trump post-Brexit? Former Tory adviser suggests sale would solve UK’s problems in event of no deal Brexit by obviating need for trade deals and replacing expensive public services with Trump corporate services.

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Black and White House

President Donald Trump shocks nation by appearing in black face and performing minstrel songs live from White House. Aides claim President’s actions represent celebration of black American culture and are definitely not racist.

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True Blue Sex Scandal

Top political spin doctor laments lack of good sex scandals during Tory leadership contest. Contends that well-managed and carefully leaked affair can enhance candidate’s standing with male voters who believe sexual prowess and virility translate into political competence and international statesmanship.

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Phoney War

Did President Trump’s German relative play crucial role in Allied victory in World War Two? New book claims General Von Trumpenhoffer advised Fuhrer D Day invasion was ‘Fake News’, ensuring reinforcements not sent. Also told Hitler to build wall to keep out Russians and suggested suing Allies for bomb damage.

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Perversion Therapy

Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called ‘Perversion Therapy’? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from ‘Conversion Therapy’ scandal.

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Too Good for the Poor

Is poverty too good for the poor? Extraordinary claims of well off City-types who engage in poverty role play. Buying up slums to revel in supposedly stress free, irresponsible lives of the poor, in order to relieve the ennui of their privileged lives.

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Conspiracy of Conspiracy Theories

Are conspiracy theories themselves part of a conspiracy to subvert democratic institutions and national economies for the benefit of a shadowy elite? New book makes astounding claims that most popular conspiracy theories are being disseminated by sinister figures hoping to profit from the uncertainty and chaos they cause.

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Bent Out of Shape

Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime – promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.

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