Tag: politics

Foreign Sex Aid

Charity shops besieged by pensioners seeking to exchange sex for second hand goods in wake of Oxfam sex for aid scandal. New charitable donors horrified to discover their money isn’t financing import of foreign sex workers for their use.

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Sex Education

Government’s plans for sex education in schools under fire. Minister proposes establishment of proper training schemes for potential sex offenders to ensure their aptitude and proficiency in their chosen field of deviance.

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Overheard Conversations

Are the great British public actually a bunch of ill informed morons? With radio phone ins more popular than ever and social media allowing ordinary citizens to publicly express their opinions as never before, top academic claims that everything they say is utter, ill informed, bollocks. Should government actually be discouraging greater electoral engagement by the terminally ignorant?

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Saving Brexit?

Is Nigel Farage’s call for second EU referendum part of cunning plan to save Brexit from Tory incompetence? Top journalist claims that by reversing decision to leave EU, Farage plans to start whole process afresh, on his terms! Former UKIP leader also allegedly behind collapse of old party to clear way for new hard line pro leave party to fight third referendum!

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Immoral Thoughts

Are feminists now using mind readers to detect men’s lewd thoughts? Tory MP claims feminist fundamentalists want to see men prosecuted for their abusive sexual fantasies about women.

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Nightmare Mayor

Council workers stage ‘military coup’ against so called ‘Nightmare Mayor’ of provincial UK town. Inspired by President Duterte, mayor launched reign of terror against alleged non recyclers, litter louts and non poop scooping dog owners.

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The Great British Sex Scandal

Are standards of British sex offending in decline? Is current political sex scandal too little, too late? Expert demands that MPs must step up sexual harassment to set example if US lead in sexual offences to be cut.

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The Two Faces of Brexit

A bizarre continental take on Brexit, which casts the whole debate over whether the UK should leave the EU or remain as a horror movie. Essentially a variant on Jekyll and Hyde, it features a pro-European journalist turning bestial after being secretly injected with a mysterious serum by a sinister pro Brexit politician.

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Fake Quake?

Did Mexico fake recent earthquake in order to defraud US and other donors of relief funds? US ‘Shock Jock’ controversially claims natural disasters are ‘racket’ on part of poorer countries to siphon billions of dollars from wealthy states.

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Licence to Discriminate

British Secret Service slammed by new report claiming SPECTRE, KGB and other evil secret organisations have better record on employing women, homosexuals and ethnic minorities. Accused of having ‘Licence to Discriminate’ against minorities.

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Terrorist Tourism

Are tourists turning terrorist? Incredible claims that disgruntled foreign visitors hitting back at cities calling for curbs on tourism with suicide bombings. Secret terror travel agencies offering ‘all inclusive’ terror breaks.

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Coming of the Sex Bots

Should sex robots looking like children be banned? Experts warn of potential perils posed by realistic sex bots, including rape and sexual harassment by proxy. Should they only be playthings of wealthy rapists, or available to the masses to facilitate redistribution of sexual intercourse?

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Modern Conspiracies Are Rubbish!

Are modern conspiracy theories rubbish? Startling claims from top conspiracy theorists that recent conspiracies such as Manchester bombing and Kensington fire have been poorly conceived and ineptly carried out. Call for return to classic conspiracies involving Aliens, Nazis and replicants.

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Faking Terror

Were London Bridge attackers actually part of Jihadi terror re-enactment group? Bizarre tabloid claims that whole terror incident a tragic misunderstanding with make believe terrorists armed with fake suicide bomb belts and rubber knives mistaken by police for real thing.

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In Sickness and in Health?

Are serious diseases like cancer a medical scam? Astonishing claims from Tory politician that most sicknesses invented by medics to justify existence of National Health Service and swindle billions of ponds of tax payers money to fund bogus treatments for fake diseases!

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That Seventies Manifesto

Is Labour planning to, literally, take Britain back to the seventies? Journalist claims manifesto promises compulsory strikes, radio prog rock quotas and peadophile children’s TV presenters. Austin Allegro and Hillman to be put back in production and digital TV scrapped in favour of traditional three channel TV.

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