Tag: politics

That Seventies Manifesto

Is Labour planning to, literally, take Britain back to the seventies? Journalist claims manifesto promises compulsory strikes, radio prog rock quotas and peadophile children’s TV presenters. Austin Allegro and Hillman to be put back in production and digital TV scrapped in favour of traditional three channel TV.

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Naturist Naturalist

BBC wildlife presenter’s naked Malta rampage revealed! Did popular naturalist bare all to disrupt bird hunters? Tabloid alleges BBC nature programmes promoting naturism with calendar featuring presenters in provocative nude poses with animals!

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Shooting Wars

Low budget film director’s use of Syrian conflict for filming war movie raises fears of unscrupulous film makers prolonging and agitating conflicts to produce cheap action footage. Astounding claims that World War Two extended by two years for benefit of Hollywood studios! Was Vietnam War staged by CBS?

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Wheels of Terror

Was Westminster terror attacker radicalised by watching Top Gear? Incredible claims that attacker who used car as weapon actually militant motorist dedicated to taking back the streets for drivers. TV producers deny anti road safety agenda of motoring shows inspire automotive terrorism.

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Sick and Depraved?

Islamic State joins Prime Minister in condemning ‘sick and depraved’ Westminster terror attack by militant sexual deviants. Sex-based outrage sees naked man trying to batter way into Parliament with erect penis and groups of deviants performing exotic sex acts in front of commuters on Westminster Bridge.

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Turning on Trump

Did Trump’s CIA hacked TV capture footage of president pleasuring himself to TV programme? Experts fear presidential ‘sex video’ could now be in hands of Wikileaks. Did Nigel Farage visit Julian Assange in attempt to retrieve video on behalf of Trump?

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Mechanized Labour

Are senior Labour party figures secretly planning to replace Jeremy Corbyn and Tom Watson with robots? Leadership ‘upgrade’ seen as essential after trials show mechanical leadership more charismatic and popular with voters.

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Rise of the Robots

Experts warn that within years robots will be able to carry out any human job. Where next for humanity, as even robot beggars predicted for near future?

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Alternative Facts

Is Trump adviser Steve Bannon actually a tramp? Does Trump throttle vagrants to death with his bare hands? Meet the man who manufactures such ‘alternative facts’ in the name of political balance.

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Going Green

Corbyn unveils plans to combat British vegetable famine, whilst government denies plans for rationing and powdered vegetables. Greens welcome proposals to turn whole UK into giant market garden.

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Virtual Jihadi

Parents shocked as second hand video game turns out to be Jihadi suicide bomber simulator. Warnings that charity shops could be flooded with used virtual terrorism games simulating JIhadist attacks.

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Corbyn’s Got Talent

Jeremy Corbyn to enter ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ as part of new media strategy. Advisers believe Labour Leader’s musical fruit act will demonstrate his populist appeal.

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Throw a Brick at the Homeless

Is Right Wing News Site’s Xmas Appeal Encouraging Followers to Throw Bricks at Homeless? Editor Claims he’s Merely Trying to Provide Rough Sleepers with Means to Build Own Homes.

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Left is Right

Is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn actually a deep cover Tory mole on a mission to destroy the party from within? Academic makes sensational claims that supposed left winger is actually trying to alienate voters to ensure Tory hegemony.

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We Trump in Peace

Is Donald Trump Behind Global Warming? Amazing Allegations President-elect Attempting to Alter Earth’s Climate to Facilitate Alien Colonisation! Conspiracy Theorists Argue as o Whether Trump Alien, Lizard or Commie!

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Grabbed by the Octopussy?

Octopuses to sue after Donald Trump described as being all over alleged groping victim ‘like an octopus’. Object to defamatory implication they are all sex offenders. Counter claim Trump is victimising them after ‘grab them by the octopussy’ remark.

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