Are Aliens About to Take the Earth From Behind? As Thousands of Flying Saucer Contactees Prepare to Bare Behinds in Anticipation of Close Encounters, UFOlogists Warn of THreat Posed by Extraterrestial Sex Tourists Out to Exploit Naive Earthlings!
Read MoreDid the US Army Pay Soldiers to Stare at Pornography? New Film Claims Existence of Top Secret ‘Sex Ops’ Programme With Aim of Creating Cadre of Assassins Capable of Remotely Killing Using Tantric Sex Techniques!
Read MoreWe’re Not Going on a Summer Holiday
Read MorePublic Outrage as Newspaper Proprietor Reveals Secret Experiments to Rip Headlines Directly From Readers’ Minds! Brains of Comatose Subjects Stimulated With Electrodes to Produce More Relevant Content!
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Attempting to avoid gold diggers following his lottery win, local radio DJ Mark Flakers and his friend and Marc Donnelly become involved with a gang of counterfeiters led by Blackpool mayor Fat Harry White and the mysterious, but beautiful, Miss Laycock…
Read MoreConfusion as London Mayor Boris Johnson Suggests Buttock Skiing and Horse Pummelling as New Events for 2012 Olympics! International Olympic Committee Ignore Calls to Modernise Traditional Sports to Make Them More Relevant to Modern British Youth!
Read MoreHas Top Pornographer Discovered Entirely New Sexual Position? Believes That Newly Discovered Technique Will Revitalise Adult Industry Dominated by Extreme Sex as Customers Grow Bored With Conventional Porn!
Read MoreTraumatised England Fans Claim Defeat to Germany in World Cup Like ‘Being Castrated’! Fears of Civil Unrest as Disgruntled Football Supporters Issue Death Threats Against England Players!
Read MoreWas Michael Jackson Assassinated by Music Industry Bosses to Boost Record Sales? Industry Insider Alleges Massive Plot to Eliminate Troublesome Top Music Stars to Avoid Scandals and Create Merchandising Opportunities!
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In this version of the Quest for the Holy Grail, Queen Guinevere, has taken to her bed with an incurable affliction – ‘the wound that never heals’. Little does King Arthur know, but this affliction is actually a bad case of the clap which she has caught from his favourite knight, Sir Thrustalot…
Read MoreThe Sleaze Manifesto
Read MoreAccolade or Blasphemy? Condemned by the Church, Adored by the Public, Britain’s Top Jesus Impersonator Reveals the Highs and Lows of Being a Tribute Messiah! Groupies, Wild Motorcycle Stunts and Communion Wine Combine as Son of God Honoured!
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Were Heavy Smoking Sea Birds Behind Gulf ‘Oil’ Slick? Oil Executive’s Astounding Claims Inspired by Top Palaeontologist’s Theories That Cigarettes Caused Extinction of Dinosaurs!
Read MoreTop Chef Launches Blistering Attack on TV Cooks! Claims Modern Cuisine Being Ruined by Pretentious Food, Egotistical Chefs and Obsessive Hygiene! Restaurant Condemned by Critics, Customers and Environmental Health!
Read MoreWas Nick Clegg Seduced by Smooth Old Etonian Charms of David Cameron? Speculation Runs Wild After Liberal Democrat Leader Spurns Advances of ‘Rough Trade’ Gordon Brown to Form ‘Long Term Relationship’ With Cameron After Being Wined and Dined by Tory Leader!
Read MoreAre Tories’ Preparing to Literally Buy Victory in General Election? Right Wing Think Tank Proposes Strategy of Buying Votes and Claiming Corruption on Expenses to Avoid Hung Parliament!
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