Are Madonna and other celebrities adopting third world children for purely altruistic reasons, or are they actually part of a sinister new underground blood sport: toddler fighting? The phenomena recently came to light after the prosecution of a group of women in Devon, who had incited two toddlers to beat seven bells out of each other. “They were amateurs and their case was just the tip of the iceberg,” reveals social worker John Smegg, who has been investigating this disturbing new ‘sport’ for Brent Council. “Trust me, there are highly organised child-fighting tournaments going on out there – with people prepared to bet big money on their outcome!” Although child fighting might have started off as two toddlers pummelling each other with their tiny fists in someone’s living room, watched only by family and neighbours, it has now developed into a multi-million pound business which attracts the attention of the rich and famous. “It’s like boxing really – they’re attracted by the forbidden pleasures of blood, sweat and violence,” opines Smegg. “Attending a kiddies’ cage match in a damp South London underground garage lets them feel that they’re brushing shoulders with a dangerous, yet exciting, netherworld of crime and depravity.” Tournaments held on Brent’s run down housing estates now attract hundreds of spectators, many of them extremely well heeled. “It’s not unusual to see Rollers, Range Rovers and Ferraris rubbing shoulders with the rusty Cavaliers and burned out Granadas in the communal car parks on Saturday nights,” reflects Smegg. “In the course of my investigations I’ve seen some very well known and connected people down in the garages where they hold the fights, screaming at some three year old to give their opponent a kicking! Toffs in top hats, celebrities in furs, estate slappers in stained track suits – you’ll find them all rubbing shoulders down there!” The social worker’s undercover investigations have revealed a shadowy world where children are ‘trained’ by pumping them full of additives to increase their aggression, and toddlers are sold by their young singles mothers to sinister ‘trainers’. “I’ve infiltrated one of these so-called training establishments,” reveals Smegg. “It was in a dingy council flat in Haringey. The curtains were permanently drawn, the heating turned up full, and the fridge bulging with microwave ready meals, frozen chips and two litre bottles of fizzy drinks. The spare room was lined with cages – each one containing a vicious child. Often they are sat in front of TVs showing violent videos for up to ten hours a day, so as to completely desensitise them.”

But just what kind of people would allow their own offspring to participate in such barbaric ‘entertainment’? “We’re talking about the dregs of society here – hard drinking, glue sniffing, benefit claiming wasters to whom a child merely represents another source of income,” says Smegg. “They are morally depraved and completely without conscience.” With the so-called sport’s growing popularity, its fans have begun to demand more than just straightforward fist fights. “These bastards have come up with all sorts of variations – the ‘hardcore’ match being especially popular,” Smegg explains. “In this type of contest, the participants are allowed to use a variety of everyday items as weapons: building blocks, push chairs, rattles, that sort of thing.” Indeed, the social worker claims to have witnessed one particularly harrowing hardcore match in which a four year old was beaten senseless with a stuffed toy Telly Tubby by his three year old opponent. Another variation on the basic contest is the ‘cage match’, where the participants fight it out in a playpen, the winner being the first to climb their way out. Inevitably, the rich and famous attracted to the ‘sport’ soon became bored with simply watching, and decided to participate in the bouts. Not surprisingly, stockbrokers, financiers, glamour models and movie stars were reluctant to allow they’re own toddlers to risk all in the arena with pure-bred semi-feral estate children. Instead, they started adopting specially trained ‘fighting children’ from overseas. “Over in the former Warsaw Pact countries they breed them specially in camps – by the time they’re two these kids have perfected at least two forms of martial art, street fighting and knife skills,” claims Smegg. “Some celebrities prefer something more exotic – and expensive – and look further afield. In Africa they train their fighting children by putting them up against animals – they’re expected to be able to throttle a leopard with their bare hands before they reach the age of three!” Using international adoption agencies as a cover, the trade in such children is now worth millions. “For the celebrities involved it is money well spent,” the social worker says. “On the one hand it gives them kudos in the murky world of child fighting – it’s a bit like owning a thoroughbred race horse – whilst to the outside world, rescuing some poor child from poverty elevates their public profile.”

In the course of his investigations, Smegg saw huge amounts of money being bet on the outcome of such matches. “It’s gone way beyond local underground bookies taking five quid bets in the pub,” he says. “Since the celebrities and high rollers have got into toddler fighting, the big Far Eastern gambling syndicates have got involved!” With so much money now riding on the outcomes of bouts, there have inevitably been accusations of match fixing. “There have been at least two cases of dwarves being substituted as ringers,” alleges Smegg, “along with claims of baby milk being spiked with sedatives to nobble odds on favourites.” Not surprisingly, Smegg is determined to smash the evil kiddie fighting syndicates he has uncovered. However, he has found it difficult to get the authorities to take his claims seriously. “Originally, I presented a statistical analysis to my council bosses, showing that children under the age of five in Brent were being referred to doctors and hospitals with injuries such as grazed knuckles, black eyes and broken noses, approximately three times a month,” he says. “This was at least nine per cent above the national average. The last time that we’d seen such a statistically high occurrence of those kind of injuries was four years ago amongst the disabled – that time we uncovered an extreme wheelchair combat ring operating in the Borough!” Incredibly, the council refused to act on this compelling data, leading Smegg to suspect a conspiracy. “I’m convinced that they’re corrupt and being paid off by the celebrities involved in this racket,” he says. “Either that, or the bastards are involved themselves!” Consequently, the intrepid social worker decided to launch his own undercover operation to gather evidence. Incredibly, despite now having had his dossier for several weeks, the Metropolitan police have still not acted on it. Indeed, a spokesperson has confirmed to The Sleaze that they do not intend making any arrests. “I’m afraid that Mr Smegg – who, incidentally is on indefinite sick leave from Brent Council – has a track record for this sort of thing,” they told us. “We well remember his alleged wheelchair combat ring – it turned out to be a disabled basketball club. However, we arrested dozens of care workers – two of whom later committed suicide – seized numerous videos and computers, and took several disabled people into protective custody on his say so, before we established that it was all perfectly innocuous.” Frustrated, Smegg is now planning to take his ‘evidence’ to the tabloids.