Tag: crime

Stiff Shifters

New Uber-like app Stiff Shifters offering to provide customers with hearse within fifteen minutes for cut price funeral services under fire from users. Mourners claim ‘hearses’ have included ice cream vans and coffins carried on roof racks.

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Fake Quake?

Did Mexico fake recent earthquake in order to defraud US and other donors of relief funds? US ‘Shock Jock’ controversially claims natural disasters are ‘racket’ on part of poorer countries to siphon billions of dollars from wealthy states.

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Licence to Discriminate

British Secret Service slammed by new report claiming SPECTRE, KGB and other evil secret organisations have better record on employing women, homosexuals and ethnic minorities. Accused of having ‘Licence to Discriminate’ against minorities.

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Terrorist Tourism

Are tourists turning terrorist? Incredible claims that disgruntled foreign visitors hitting back at cities calling for curbs on tourism with suicide bombings. Secret terror travel agencies offering ‘all inclusive’ terror breaks.

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I Let My House to a Serial Killer

‘I let my house to a serial killer!’ complains Airbnb customer. Users of Airbnb and similar services share tales of how their properties were used as porn movie sets and temporary brothels!

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Faking Terror

Were London Bridge attackers actually part of Jihadi terror re-enactment group? Bizarre tabloid claims that whole terror incident a tragic misunderstanding with make believe terrorists armed with fake suicide bomb belts and rubber knives mistaken by police for real thing.

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Evil Dead

Were police sent to guard the mortuary holding ‘Moors Murderer’ Ian Brady’s body due to fears that an attempt would be made to resurrect him? Tabloids accused of exploiting dead killer’s notoriety for circulation with bizarre stories of body snatching and return from the grave.

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Victims of Fame

Does fame obsessed media treat victims of non-celebrity sex offenders as ‘second class’? Victims’ group demands equal access to celebrity sex offenders for working class kids, to ensure high profile and potentially lucrative reporting of their stories.

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Naturist Naturalist

BBC wildlife presenter’s naked Malta rampage revealed! Did popular naturalist bare all to disrupt bird hunters? Tabloid alleges BBC nature programmes promoting naturism with calendar featuring presenters in provocative nude poses with animals!

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Wheels of Terror

Was Westminster terror attacker radicalised by watching Top Gear? Incredible claims that attacker who used car as weapon actually militant motorist dedicated to taking back the streets for drivers. TV producers deny anti road safety agenda of motoring shows inspire automotive terrorism.

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Sick and Depraved?

Islamic State joins Prime Minister in condemning ‘sick and depraved’ Westminster terror attack by militant sexual deviants. Sex-based outrage sees naked man trying to batter way into Parliament with erect penis and groups of deviants performing exotic sex acts in front of commuters on Westminster Bridge.

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Virtual Jihadi

Parents shocked as second hand video game turns out to be Jihadi suicide bomber simulator. Warnings that charity shops could be flooded with used virtual terrorism games simulating JIhadist attacks.

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Dying for Ratings

Was George Michael Murdered by News Media Conspiracy to boost Christmas News Ratings? Top Conspiracy THeorist Claims Queen also on media ‘Hit List’.

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Zombie Justice

Should convicted criminals who die before they’ve completed their sentences be brought back from the grave to finish their punishment? Newspaper suggests voodoo be employed to bring back as zombies offenders attempting to cheat justice through death.

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Slay Ride

Major UK Terror Alert After Hijacked Santa’s Sleigh Crashes into Shoppers at German Market. Was Driver Part of Group Trying to Drive Out European Xmas Traditions in Favour of British Yule-tide Celebrations?

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Throw a Brick at the Homeless

Is Right Wing News Site’s Xmas Appeal Encouraging Followers to Throw Bricks at Homeless? Editor Claims he’s Merely Trying to Provide Rough Sleepers with Means to Build Own Homes.

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