Tag: crime

Hostile Environment

Did government outsource ‘Hostile Environment policy for illegal immigrants to extreme right wing groups? Allegations that neo-Nazis employed by Home Office to intimidate alleged illegals with burning crosses and racist attacks.

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From Russia, With Ineptitude

Russia’s President Putin has condemned those who attempted to assassinate former Russian spy Sergei Skirpal and his daughter, saying that they had been told to make it look like suicide. Claims that policy of out-sourcing assassinations in post-communist Russia has resulted in embarrassing ineptitude that threatens Russia’s standing in world of political killings.

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Tea and Terror

Was the Salisbury nerve agent attack which has left a former Russian spy and his daughter fighting for their lives actually a ‘false flag’ attack organised by the local council in an attempt to create publicity for the city? Council insider makes incredible claims as Boris Johnson prepares to penalise Russia for attack by mooning their London embassy.

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Left Handed Guns

Calls for American left to assert Second Amendment rights and arm themselves in order to force through gun control at gun point. Only armed left-wing militias can protect citizens’ Constitutional rights from threat posed by right wing crazies, argue leftist leaders.

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Foreign Sex Aid

Charity shops besieged by pensioners seeking to exchange sex for second hand goods in wake of Oxfam sex for aid scandal. New charitable donors horrified to discover their money isn’t financing import of foreign sex workers for their use.

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Sex Education

Government’s plans for sex education in schools under fire. Minister proposes establishment of proper training schemes for potential sex offenders to ensure their aptitude and proficiency in their chosen field of deviance.

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I Buried Santa!

Was Santa killed and replaced by double in 1996? Astonishing claims by ‘Santa is Dead’ conspiracy theorists that Santa replaced by Jesus after being hit by van while delivering presents! ‘I buried Santa’ claims former van driver!

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Secret Santa

Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!

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Evil Elves

Londoners warned of threat posed to Christmas shoppers by gang of crazed dwarves dressed as Christmas elves. Police claim that evil elves are targeting people buying and giving inappropriate and disappointing gifts for relatives.

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Immoral Thoughts

Are feminists now using mind readers to detect men’s lewd thoughts? Tory MP claims feminist fundamentalists want to see men prosecuted for their abusive sexual fantasies about women.

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Nightmare Mayor

Council workers stage ‘military coup’ against so called ‘Nightmare Mayor’ of provincial UK town. Inspired by President Duterte, mayor launched reign of terror against alleged non recyclers, litter louts and non poop scooping dog owners.

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The Great British Sex Scandal

Are standards of British sex offending in decline? Is current political sex scandal too little, too late? Expert demands that MPs must step up sexual harassment to set example if US lead in sexual offences to be cut.

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Halloween Sex Pests

Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.

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Sex Offensive

Top therapist claims revolutionary treatment of sex addicts through use of sex bots. Technological ‘sex offensive’ will allegedly cure offenders by turning them into victims.

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Stiff Shifters

New Uber-like app Stiff Shifters offering to provide customers with hearse within fifteen minutes for cut price funeral services under fire from users. Mourners claim ‘hearses’ have included ice cream vans and coffins carried on roof racks.

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