Tag: sex scandal

Boris and the Beast

Is Boris Johnson the reincarnation of neolithic sex beast? Incredible claims that Prime Minister’s alleged groping of women is result of this bestial past life involuntarily reasserting itself. Claims that other right wing leaders also apes in past lives.

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Spanked by the Swastika

Several old cans of film dug up from a field reveal a sensational wartime secret involving a lost British pornographic propaganda film. Was ‘Spanked by the Swastika’ banned because of fears it made Nazis sexually attractive, or because it made bondage available to the masses?

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True Blue Sex Scandal

Top political spin doctor laments lack of good sex scandals during Tory leadership contest. Contends that well-managed and carefully leaked affair can enhance candidate’s standing with male voters who believe sexual prowess and virility translate into political competence and international statesmanship.

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Foreign Sex Aid

Charity shops besieged by pensioners seeking to exchange sex for second hand goods in wake of Oxfam sex for aid scandal. New charitable donors horrified to discover their money isn’t financing import of foreign sex workers for their use.

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Secret Santa

Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!

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Immoral Thoughts

Are feminists now using mind readers to detect men’s lewd thoughts? Tory MP claims feminist fundamentalists want to see men prosecuted for their abusive sexual fantasies about women.

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The Great British Sex Scandal

Are standards of British sex offending in decline? Is current political sex scandal too little, too late? Expert demands that MPs must step up sexual harassment to set example if US lead in sexual offences to be cut.

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Halloween Sex Pests

Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.

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Sex Offensive

Top therapist claims revolutionary treatment of sex addicts through use of sex bots. Technological ‘sex offensive’ will allegedly cure offenders by turning them into victims.

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Never Say Di

Former Royal medium reveals Princess Diana’s sensational post-mortem affairs. TV station condemned for airing recordings of seances in which Lady Di chronicles afterlife assignations with Errol Flynn and John Lennon.

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Victims of Fame

Does fame obsessed media treat victims of non-celebrity sex offenders as ‘second class’? Victims’ group demands equal access to celebrity sex offenders for working class kids, to ensure high profile and potentially lucrative reporting of their stories.

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Turning on Trump

Did Trump’s CIA hacked TV capture footage of president pleasuring himself to TV programme? Experts fear presidential ‘sex video’ could now be in hands of Wikileaks. Did Nigel Farage visit Julian Assange in attempt to retrieve video on behalf of Trump?

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Three Line Whip

As ‘Whip and Tell’ stories involving government ministers proliferate, Tory back bencher launches private members bill proposing new code of conduct for sex workers involved with politicians.

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Dead Scandalous

Who are the mystery celebrities protected by latest super injunctions? Are they actually dead – but only for tax purposes? Tabloid makes sensational claims!

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I Shagged a Celebrity

Our readers’ incredible stories of celebrity sex encounters! Did Rod Hull and Emu engage in a kinky three-in-a-bed romp? Did a young hippie really ‘duke the Duke’ in 1973?

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