Tag: supernatural

Zombie Justice

Should convicted criminals who die before they’ve completed their sentences be brought back from the grave to finish their punishment? Newspaper suggests voodoo be employed to bring back as zombies offenders attempting to cheat justice through death.

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Medical Magic

Government plans to break junior doctors’ dispute by using blackleg alternative medical practitioners, including voodoo priests, spiritualists and shamans, revealed. Patients complain of use of animal sacrifices instead of pharmaceuticals.

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Destroy All Beards

Are HIpster Beards Really Alien Parasites? Is Human Race’s Only Hope a Salesman Capable of Destroying Horrible Hipster Beards Through the Power of His Mind?

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Christmas Curse!

English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is ‘Christmastein Monster’ Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?

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The Haunted Trousers

Are Man’s Trousers Haunted by Evil Spirit of Sex Offender? Exorcism Performed on Possessed Pantaloons Following Paranormal Phenomena in Groin Area, Including Ectoplasm and Bizarre Bulging!

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Corbyn’s Coven

Is Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn High Priest of a Powerful Witches’ Coven? Astonishing Claims From Tory Back Bencher Who Alleges that Corbyn Plans to Destroy Britain Through Black Magic.

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Eastern Evil

Are Eastern European Immigrants Vampires and Werewolves Literally Draining UK’s Lifeblood? Extraordinary UKIP Claims on Eve of General Election!

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Collateral Damage

Did Combat Trauma Cause Ex-Soldier’s Deadly Gun Attack on Neighbours’ Guy Fawkes Party ? Claims Fireworks Caused Flashback to Afghanistan. Did Supernatural Trauma Cause Drunk’s Attack on Trick or Treaters? Claims Costumes Caused Flashback to Transylvania Monster Attack.

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The Haunting of Simon Cowell

Panic at X Factor as Producers Hold Seances to Try and Contact Simon Cowell after Judge Vanishes Following Exorcism at His Mansion! Has Supercilious Pop Impresario Been Exorcised by Mistake, or Kidnapped by Evil Spirits?

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The Ghost Gropers

Does Saying Jimmy Savile’s Name Five Times Summon Sex Offender’s Ghost? Fears that Britain’s Youth Putting Themselves in Supernatural Sex Peril as Dangerous Halloween Craze Sweeps Nation!

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Witches of Westminster

Government Rocked by Witchcraft Allegations After Cameron Accused of Using Black Magic to Influence Scottish Independence Referendum! Claims that British Politics Rife with Witches!

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The Dead That Crap

Aid Worker Claims West African Ebola Outbreak a Fake! Alleges Global Scientific Community is Actually Covering Up Plague of Zombies!

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Cult of Isis

Have Muslim Extremists Sought Supernatural Assistance from Ancient Egyptian Goddess to Conquer Iraq? Did Hitler Invoke Cult of Isis to Send Living Mummys Against Red Army? Historian’s Bizarre Claims Provoke Outrage!

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Hollywood Ghost Buster

Meet the Man Who Exorcised a Top TV Star’s Private Parts, Battled Flesh Eating Celebrity Zombies and Staked Undead Entertainers! Hollywood’s Top Ghost Buster Speaks Exclusively to The Sleaze!

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The Devil’s Triangle

Does Area of South London Rival Bermuda Triangle for Mysterious Disappearances? Top Conspiracy Theorist’s Controversial New Book Claims Massive Cover Up of Vanishing Buses, Trains and Celebrities in Bermondsey Triangle!

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Witch Watch!

This week, in order to show our wholehearted support for the Government’s new anti-witchcraft...

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