Is Jeff Bezos’ penis about to bring down Trump? Amazon boss calls Trump-supporting tabloid’s bluff, daring them to publish illicitly obtained ‘below the belt’ photos of the billionaire. Does ‘smoking wang’ point toward President?
Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.
Were police sent to guard the mortuary holding ‘Moors Murderer’ Ian Brady’s body due to fears that an attempt would be made to resurrect him? Tabloids accused of exploiting dead killer’s notoriety for circulation with bizarre stories of body snatching and return from the grave.
British Tabloid Axes Topless Page Three Girls in Face of Competition From Free Online Porn. Admits There Are Insufficient Numbers of Technologically Illiterate Perverts to Justify Continuation of Fixture.
Fears of ‘end of privacy’ as News International launches spy satellite to gather tabloid sex and scandal stories. Orbital surveillance systems provide media empire with more extensive coverage of celebrities’ private lives that phone hacking.
Did The Queen Pose Naked for Amateur Photographer? Top Tabloid’s Editorial Judgement Called into Question Following Admission that Royal Exclusive is Simply Latest in Series of Stories Bought From Sex Offenders!
Salford Man Claims Top Premiership Footballer Behind Public Exposure of His Extra-Marital Affairs! Alleges Poster Campaign Namimg and Shaming Him as Adulterer is Tit-For-Tat Revenge for Breaking Super Injunction by Naming Footballer on Twitter!
Ecclesiastical Outrage Amid Claims That News of The World Tapped Mobile Phones of Top Bishops! ROgue Reporter Makes Amazing Claims of Leading Clergy Overheard Admitting Religion a Sham and Other Shocking Clerical Behaviour!
Tabloid Claims Success in Solving High Profile Murder as Chief Suspect Commits Suicide Following Front Page Accusations! Outrage as Newspaper Applies Principles of Cheque Book Journalism to Crime Fighting!
Public Outrage as Newspaper Proprietor Reveals Secret Experiments to Rip Headlines Directly From Readers’ Minds! Brains of Comatose Subjects Stimulated With Electrodes to Produce More Relevant Content!