Tag: tory satire

Tory Death Cult

Is the Tory Party under Boris Johnson actually a death cult? Top political analyst claims Tory supporters being lead into oblivion by a false Messiah.

Read More

Manifesto Madness

Does Labour have ‘Manifesto of Madness’ designed to undermine middle class conservatism through compulsory drug taking and homosexuality? Extraordinary claims by Tories that Corbyn victory would mean ‘enforced permissiveness’.

Read More

National Death Service

Is Britain’s National Health Service being transformed into a ‘National Death Service’? Activist argues Tories turning NHS into institution for mass euthanasia of poor, disabled and elderly.

Read More

Boris and the Beast

Is Boris Johnson the reincarnation of neolithic sex beast? Incredible claims that Prime Minister’s alleged groping of women is result of this bestial past life involuntarily reasserting itself. Claims that other right wing leaders also apes in past lives.

Read More

Smash and Grab?

Parliamentarians fear any attempt to arrest law breaking Prime Minister Boris Johnson might result in parliament being smashed by his Hulk alter ego. Experts, however, believe if Johnson allowed to break law with impunity, law breaking will be legitimised and the UK overwhelmed by lawlessness.

Read More

Trump Island

Is government planning to sell UK to Donald Trump post-Brexit? Former Tory adviser suggests sale would solve UK’s problems in event of no deal Brexit by obviating need for trade deals and replacing expensive public services with Trump corporate services.

Read More

Black and White House

President Donald Trump shocks nation by appearing in black face and performing minstrel songs live from White House. Aides claim President’s actions represent celebration of black American culture and are definitely not racist.

Read More

True Blue Sex Scandal

Top political spin doctor laments lack of good sex scandals during Tory leadership contest. Contends that well-managed and carefully leaked affair can enhance candidate’s standing with male voters who believe sexual prowess and virility translate into political competence and international statesmanship.

Read More

Bent Out of Shape

Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime – promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.

Read More

The Tories’ Last Orgy

Is the Tory party about to implode into an orgy of sadism and sexual depravity? Top political activist compares state of Tory government to last days of Third Reich, predicts it will self-destruct in hedonistic frenzy of sex and violence.

Read More

Worst Defence

Were Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson’s latest policy initiatives inspired by watching children’s TV? Worst Defence Secretary ever’s plans for moonbase and interceptors to combat future alien threat allegedly ripped off from Gerry Anderson TV shows.

Read More

Bum’s Rush

Fears that post-Brexit toilet paper shortages could lead to civil unrest. Government prepares plans for rationing (two sheets per dump) and martial law, while citizens explore potentially hazardous alternatives including newspaper and scouring pads.

Read More

Ghosts of Brexit

Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?

Read More

Tory Tough Guy

Public amazement as Home Secretary takes tough line on immigration by personally attacking rubber dinghy and hurling illegal occupants back into sea. New policy initiative or cynical political posturing as Sajid Javid positions himself as Tory tough guy in race to succeed Theresa May?

Read More

Happy Brexmas!

Top Brexiteer switches sides following visitations from three ghosts with visions of Brexit past, present and future. Spectre of a far from Happy Brexmas with Santa being denied free movement to deliver presents, leads to cabinet minister embracing second referendum and ‘No Brexit at All’.

Read More
Loading