It really feels as if the fabric of our so-called reality has finally been pulled asunder to reveal that we’re actually living in some kind of conspiracy theory where every public figure is actually a depraved sex offender protected by the establishment. Everything we ever suspected now turns out to be true: politicians and celebrities abuse children on an industrial scale, yet the police never investigate the claims of their victims and government departments apparently collude in the cover-ups. You can’t trust anyone famous any more – after all, if cuddly kids entertainer Rolf Harris can turn out to be a sex offender, then anything is possible. Who’s next? And so we slip into another moral panic, with every celebrity in creation being fingered (if you’ll excuse the phrase) as a possible sex offender. The only people who seem to be happy about the current situation are the conspiracy theorists themselves who, after decades of being ridiculed as cranks, are now running around shouting ‘We told you so!’.
Except, of course, they didn’t. Whilst the recent revelations that various public figures have been getting away with committing sex crimes for decades whilst the authorities apparently turned a blind eye, is shocking, it doesn’t prove that all human history is being manipulated by the Illuminati. Moreover, as far as I’m aware neither Rolf Harris nor Jimmy Savile have been proved to be giant reptiles in human disguise, (the jury’s still out on Max Clifford). Nor do any of these celebrity peados live in the hollow earth, Lemuria, the Bermuda Triangle or outer space. If anything, all this scandal proves is something we already know: we live in a society where wealth can buy anything. Provided you have the right connections, of course. It helps if you get invited to Chequers by Maggie Thatcher or paint the Queen. It’s the same old conspiracy which has always sat in plain sight in this country – the conspiracy of vested influence, inherited wealth and privilege.
But that isn’t good enough for many people – the has to be more, they say. This can’t just be about a bunch of wealthy perverts being able to corrupt the system sufficiently to avoid justice for several decades. It just can’t be that simple. Now, I’m not saying that they might have a point – all the recent stuff about an alleged ‘Westminster Peadophile Ring’ involving high-ranking Tory MPs in the eighties certainly seems to point to there being a problem greater than simply a few sexually depraved celebrities abusing their wealth and fame. The lack of action by the police and government of the time is also disturbing, as is the reluctance of the mainstream media to report recent allegations (apparently backed up with the testimonies of victims) about the goings an at Dolphin Square, (the flats which accommodated many MPs in the eighties), is even more worrying. But none of this means there was the kind of highly organised conspiracy involving every member of Britain’s establishment which some of the conspiracy sites I’ve seen lately are trying to claim. And when I say every member of the establishment, I really do mean every one of them. Just nane public figure and you’ll find an allegation about them. More than that, you’ll find that they are part of a wider web of sex crimes. all being covered up by the shadowy and powerful figures who lie behind our governments.
Now, I’m all in favour of conspiracy theories. They can be very entertaining and can represent a useful intellectual exercise in terms of trying to find ways of linking together disparate events, organisations and individuals into an apparently logical pattern. I use the term ‘logical’ advisedly, as conspiracy theories operate on the basis of their own internal logic, which makes reference only to their own internal structure and version of history. Because, of course, they represent alternate versions of history which rearrange and reinterpret actual events so as to fit their preconceptions. Where actual facts cannot be repurposed in this way, hearsay, urban myth and ‘received wisdom’ are co-opted as ‘facts’ instead. Once a conspiracy theory reaches a certain level of complexity it achieves a ‘critical mass’, being used by its adherents to explain everything that happens, not just in the real world, but also in their own lives. A sort of pseudo-religious creed, or a twisted political ideology, is formed – leaving its acolytes with no reason to think beyond is narrow and warped terms of reference. Which, in the case of one particular site which is making these claims about the scale of the supposed sex abuse scandal, is what is currently happening. Every event, whether it be the recent cabinet reshuffle, the murder of Jill Dando or terrorist attacks in London, are somehow part of a conspiracy to cover up rampant child abuse on the part of Britain’s elites. (The reshuffle was to purge the cabinet of peados following the recent allegations, Jill Dando was on to the conspiracy and was assassinated to provide an example for other investigative journalists, lest they were tempted to pry into the conspiracy too and the 7/7 attack was orchestrated by Mossad, for whom Malcolm Rifkind is an agent and he’s the cousin of Leon Brittan, the former Home Secretary on whose watch Geoffrey Dickens’ dossier allegedly naming and shaming various peadophile MPs vanished, if you were wondering).
The scope of this supposed conspiracy is breathtaking – did you know, for instance, that Esther Rantzen is involved in it? Oh yes! Apparently she set up Childline as a way of monitoring the victims and making out sure their claims never became public. There’s much, much more of this sort of stuff – it’s all so insane that when I first stumbled across the site in question, I thought it must be some sort of satire site. After all, some of the fake conspiracies we come up with here at The Sleaze are almost as far-fetched as this site’s content. But no, it’s apparently all ‘true’, backed up with impeccable sources. Well, I say impeccable, but if you read closely you’ll find that the ‘sources’ are all along the lines of ‘someone’s brother’s mate who used to work in intelligence’. If you read enough of their ‘stories’, you’ll quickly notice two underlying themes: homophobia and anti-semitism. Yes, indeed folks, like most of these crackpot theories, it all comes down to it being the Jews fault – in this case, the Jews in league with the gays. You see, most of the establishment sex abusers are actually Jewish (especially those in the BBC, which is rife with Jews and gays) and protected by Mossad. Which, after all the other craziness, demonstrates a depressing lack of originality.
Don’t forget, this is all from a single site, there are undoubtedly many other similar sites making similarly bizarre claims. But why should it bother us? Well, the problem is that by keeping on churning out these kinds of whack-a-doodle conspiracies, these sites, and those behind them, distract from and devalue the real conspiracies going on. The more these crackpots postulate these all-encompassing conspiracies orchestrated by Mossad, the less likely people are to believe in the real allegations of peadophilia, which might, if there is sufficient public outrage, actually get investigated at long last. Maybe the mainstream media aren’t willing to report the Dolphin Court allegations is because these crackpots have already co-opted the perfectly legitimate investigations into it and woven them into their anti-semitic conspiracy, thereby tainting it in the eyes of the rest of the press, not to mention the public. Which, in conclusion, leads me to my crackpot conspiracy theory: that these sites are actually financed and run by the establishment to pre-empt investigations into real-life conspiracies by discrediting them as being merely figments of the imaginations of lunatics.