Tag: entertainment

Club Sex

Is Soho’s new ‘Club Sex’ an outrage to public decency, as claimed by opponents? Club will offer live stimulated ‘rape shows’ for predominantly male members. Owner claims watching fake rapes will satiate appetites of potential rapists for sexual molestation of women. Campaigners condemn exploitation of male violence against women for entertainment.

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White Man’s Delight

New company offers ‘White Man’s Delight’ holidays for UK bigots disenchanted with Brexit Britain. Plan to buy a small country and institute ‘woke free’ regime for visitors to enjoy ‘politically incorrect holidays’ abusing women and minorities, consequence free. Promise England in the seventies-style ‘paradise’ for those tired of ‘wokery’.

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Smut on the Beach

As environmentalist battle to clean up latest porn spillage to hit Britain’s beaches, experts ask if vast quantities of contraband European porn washing up on the coast is result of Brexit? Tory MPS. meanwhile, propose temporary visa scheme to alleviate current Brexit-inspired shortages of continental sex workers and mistresses.

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The Decline and Fall of Dracula

Did Dracula end his days as a drug addled vagrant on the streets of London? New book claims legendary bloodsucker brought low after imbibing blood of coked up City types during 1980s. Also alleges Frankenstein’s monster now a cripple due to dodgy organ transplants and mummy hit with reincarnation restraining order.

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Hate Island

New reality TV show draws criticism for bringing together representatives of various extremist ideologies on ‘Hate Island’ in order to see if they can form liaisons. Viewers get to vote on ‘best’ and ‘worst’ extremists to find winning couple. Passions run high as Klan member uses blazing cross to warn Nation of Islam representative off of relationship with QAnon supporter.

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Art of Politics

Controversial unofficial statue of Princess Diana doing it ‘doggie style’ with soldier destroyed by council after causing outrage. Latest example of ‘guerilla art’ portraying public figures and politicians in unflattering poses sparks debate as to whether works constitute art, political statement or just gratuitous public offense.

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Cat in the Hat’s Final Solution?

Are the works of beloved children’s author Dr Seuss racist? Do his books propagate Nazi propaganda? Sensational allegations that original draft of ‘Cat in the Hat’ featured title character wearing coal scuttle helmet and harassing Jewish children.

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Holy Sedition, Batman!

US public demands to know where Batman was during Capitol insurrection? Absence of superheroes during Trump terrorists’ attempt at sedition criticised as comic book nerds ask whether suppressed Michael Moore Justice League movie predict coup attempt?

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Mondo Farage

Propaganda or parody? New pseudo-documentary featuring Nigel Farage divides critics with its apparently faked scenes of former UKIP leader chasing immigrants off of beaches and of immigrant communities in London practicing ritual sacrifices. Modern day Mondo or offensive agit-prop?

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Sex Monsters!

Are classic horror movies all about sex? Horror movie fan shocked by amount of explicit perverted sex in old horror films – from the sexual depravities of Dracula to the bestiality of the Wolf Man. Vows in future to stick to more innocent dismemberments and slashings of modern horror.

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Celebrity Bollocks

Little Miss Strange ruminates on recent minor celebrity sightings on her street – could this herald a celebrity infestation as they colonise the area, or is she just being stalked by Nick Knowles? Is the only solution really to punch a Z-lister today?

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Captive Audience

Are celebrities exploiting captive audience provided by coronavirus lockdown? Accusations that inane celebrity videos driving housebound population to brink of insanity as instances of arson, attempted murder and suicide rise sharply.

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The Show Goes On?

As UK goes into lockdown, popular culture struggles to deal with restrictions imposed by social distancing rules in order to ensure that it is show business as usual. Proposals for gossip columnists to simulate celebrity incidents with dolls while suggestions that football season be continued via Subuteo mooted.

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Dead Good TV

Could grave robbing for entertainment make for great TV? Fan suggests radical new format for ‘Masked Singer’, featuring dead celebrities revived as zombies by necromancy beneath masks. Is the elephant Elvis? Dead good TV or just bad taste?

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Celebrity Cull

Do we need to start culling celebrities? Any celebrity expressing idiotic or ill informed opinions should be targeted for culling, experts suggest amid fears that TV reality and talent shows creating too many low quality celebrities.

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The Great British Porn Challenge

Reality TV show that gets participants to film own adult movies is latest UK viewing sensation. ‘Great British Porn Challenge’ hailed as greatest TV phenomenon since ‘Great British Bake Off’. Makers claim series aims to revive lost skills of adult movie production in the UK.

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