Was top British sex fiend Jimmy Savile the result of secret government experiments during World War Two to develop super powered soldiers? This is the sensational claim being made by former Ministry of Defence research scientist Dr Marlon Pook. “It’s the only explanation for the sheer scale of his offending – no normal man could possibly have sexually assaulted so many victims over such a relatively short period of time. They would never have had the stamina,” the scientist told top tabloid the Daily Norks. “But with his super speed, Savile was able to molest multiple victims virtually simultaneously in several different locations.” Pook also claims that Savile was able to deploy other of his special powers to ensnare his victims in the first place. “How else do you think a freaky looking weirdo like Savile ever convinced innocent young people that they were safe with him if not through his hypnotic powers?” he asked. “He used the same powers to put the police off of the scent every time they investigated him – he used his powers to make them destroy their own evidence and completely forget the allegations!”

Pook’s allegations come in the wake of revelations that the US military had created the ‘Sex Men’ a force of sex powered porn stars to operate covertly against America’s enemies. “It all goes back to World War Two and the US’ attempts to create a ‘super soldier’ serum, which could transform ordinary weedy recruits into super-powered fighting machines,” he told the Daily Norks. “Whilst the US project used a lot of British scientific talent, the White House was reluctant to share the research with the UK, so Winston Churchill authorised the creation of an equivalent UK project at Porton Down.” According to Pook the top secret UK project selected as subjects a number of individuals who had been deemed unfit for military service. Amongst them was a young Jimmy Savile, he alleges. “Back then in 1944, he had just been discharged from his National Service after suffering spinal injuries whilst working in the coal mines as a ‘Bevin Boy’,” the scientist explained. “When the project offered him the possibility of a full recovery if he became a guinea pig for their experiments, he jumped at the chance.” Savile’s recovery was indeed miraculous. “He was transformed from a weedy git into a macho powerhouse,” claimed Pook. “But even then there were signs of his dangerous sexual deviance – one night he broke out of the secure compound he and the other experimental subjects were housed in and ran amok in the local area. Not only were several local women molested, but there were also reports of local farm livestock being horribly molested. Luckily, they recaptured him and hushed the whole incident up – West Indian servicemen who were billeted nearby were blamed and several of them were shot by the Army to placate the locals.”

Undaunted, the War Office still believed that it could harness Savile’s depraved sexual energies in service of the war effort. “According to some of the documents I’ve seen discussions as to the possibility of parachuting him into Berlin to try and penetrate Hitler’s bunker and bugger the Fuhrer to death,” Pook told the tabloid. However, before Savile and the other subjects could be deployed, the war ended, leaving the British government with the problem of what to do with Savile and the other ‘super soldiers’. “Even then there were worries about the risks a dangerous, super powered sexual predator might pose to the public if released back into society,” Pook claimed. “Euthanasia was briefly considered, but with the truth about the Holocaust rapidly becoming public knowledge, it was felt that this might appear hypocritical.” Instead, it was felt that it would be safe to release Savile back into the community, provided safe outlets for his abnormal energies could be found.”Initially he devoted his energies to sport, becoming first a noted cyclist, then a professional wrestler,” says Pook. “But he was eventually forced off of the wrestling circuit after numerous complaints from opponents that he was simply using the sport as an excuse to feel up men.”

Following his expulsion from the world of professional wrestling, Savile forged a career as a Disc Jockey and secret sex offender. “It was the swinging sixties and sexual depravity was becoming the norm,” Pook recalled. “The government was busy legalising everything: homosexuality, polygamy, adultery, bestiality – you name it, they were making it legal. It must have seemed like paradise to Savile!” Against this background, Savile was able to exercise his super powers to the limit in his pursuit of perversity. “The night clubs and discos of the sixties scene became his hunting ground,” the scientist claimed. “His limitless energy and super stamina meant that he could dance all night as he tracked his prey on the dance floors of swinging London!” As ever, the authorities were complicit in helping to cover up Savile’s sex crimes. “There was that time he kidnapped a cabinet minister’s under age daughter from a disco after hypnotising her – dozens of police cars chased his sports car halfway across the Home Counties before they cornered him in a quarry on the outskirts of Guildford,” Pook told the tabloid. “He escaped arrest by using his super powers to walk up the side of the quarry! To stop the story getting out the authorities had to pay out a lot of back handers to the cops involved. There were still a few who refused to be bought off and threatened to go the press – they were fitted up for the possession of LSD, ensuring that their bizarre stories about Savile would be dismissed as acid trips!”

Eventually the authorities decided that the only way they could hope to control Savile was by making him part of the establishment – working at the BBC. “They initially tried to stick him out on one of those pirate radio stations, hoping that the isolation from women would curb his anti-social activities,” revealed Pook. “But after a few weeks he’d buggered both the crew and broadcasting staff senseless, before swimming to shore and ravaging a fishing village. The BBC seemed a better bet – a regular supply of star struck victims for him in a controlled environment. Besides, it had already helped control the depravities of another super powered sex offender.” According to Pook antipodean entertainer and sex offender Rolf Harris was also a result of secret government experiments. “They exposed this Australian child to a nuclear blast when they were testing A-Bombs in the outback during the fifties,” he alleged. “As a result of the extreme dose of radiation he received, he started ageing more rapidly than normal, turning hairy to boot.” Amongst the mutations induced by the radiation was a third leg which Harris kept hidden most of the time, but occasionally used in his act. “He could retract it,” explained Pook. “Except when he performed ‘Jake the Pegg’, when he’d extend it. Obviously, audiences just thought it was a fake leg, but trust me, it was real.” Harris also developed super speed and dexterity with his hands. “It’s how he got away with groping so many women, apparently in full view of TV cameras without anyone seeing,” opined Pook. “Then he’d use his telepathic powers to make his victims forget that it ever happened for decades.” With Savile now dead and Harris safely behind bars, the question remains: did the pair have latent tendencies toward sexual deviance which were exacerbated by their experimental treatments, or was it the treatments themselves that caused the deviance?”