Did Her Majesty The Queen lead English football hooligans against Russian thugs at Euro 2016? Extraordinary allegations as top hooligan claims armour clad Jeremy Corbyn rallied English hooligans in Marseilles.
Who were Jimmy Savile’s celebrity co-conspirators in alleged 1970s BBC child sex ring? Mrs Thatcher and Prince Charles implicated in top-level cover-up of dead DJ’s activities as tabloids desperately attempt to keep story going!
Frenzied mobs of breast-obsessed Brits besiege foreign embassies in protest at their inability to see topless photos of Duchess of Cambridge published in those countries! Fears for safety of Royal jugs as mobs’ expectations of Kate’s knockers reach unrealistic levels!
Essex Police Call Off Massive Hunt For Naked Prince Harry Following Sighting by Members of Public. Local Woman Claims Blurred Photo of ‘Prince’ Scratching Balls in Field is Actually Her Commoner Layabout Ginger Son.
All Aboard for the New World Order! Is Proposed new Royal Yacht Really to be Ark to Save Wealthy and Privileged From Approaching Apocalypse? Sinister Truth Behind Bonkers Education Secretary Michael Gove’s Proposals Exposed!
Which Member of the Royal Family Has Blood on Their Hands? Allegations of Royal Killer at Large After Discovery of Body on Royal Estate! Police Detective Claims Establishment Cover-Up Following Removal From Investigation for Trying to Interrogate Prince Philip!
Did The Queen Pose Naked for Amateur Photographer? Top Tabloid’s Editorial Judgement Called into Question Following Admission that Royal Exclusive is Simply Latest in Series of Stories Bought From Sex Offenders!