“I suppose that some people might classify it as necrophilia, but no actual corporeal body is involved,” declares controversial medium Henry Wagstaffe, commenting on the new craze sweeping the occult scene – sex with ghosts. “Whilst the spirit form these occultists are having sex with might be as cold and clammy as a corpse, unlike a corpse, they are completely responsive. They also don’t fall apart when groped and penetrated.” Forty three year old former joiner’s mate Wagstaffe has rapidly become a local celebrity, with his regular ‘sexy séances’ in his hometown of Macclesfield, at which he claims to be able to conjure up spectral lovers to order for attendees. “If they’re dead, then I can summon them for you,” he boasts. “Of course, once summoned, they are in my power and it is possible for me to ‘bind’ them and place them in thrall to whoever wants their services.” Incredibly, the medium even claims that he can force the spirits into bottles, so that they can be taken home by his customers, and called upon to provide carnal services at their leisure. Whilst some of the participants at Wagstaffe’s séances are interested in fulfilling their sexual fantasies through post-mortem liaisons with the spirits of dead celebrities, the majority are simply seeking to be reunited with deceased loved ones. Indeed, Wagstaffe has revealed that it was his attempts to assist a grieving friend – thirty two year old TV repair man John Hogger – which resulted in his current business.
“He’d lost his wife – she’d tragically taken her own life at an early age – leaving him utterly devastated,” explains the spiritualist. “Week after week following her death, I watched him fall further into despair. It seemed that he just couldn’t live without his beloved wife. He begged me to try and summon her from the other side, just so as to her face, or hear her voice again. Against my better judgement, I agreed.” So it was, that on a cold Thursday evening last December – on the anniversary of the death of John’s wife – Wagstaffe found himself conducting a private séance for his friend. “It took hours to summon her, even with the aid of my spirit guide Sid (the ghost of a nineteenth century pimp) – he told me that she seemed very reluctant to cross over, but finally I managed to materialise her,” he says. “Then the most extraordinary thing happened – I expected some weeping and wailing, that sort of thing, but before I knew they were at it! Going hammer and tongs on the table! There was ectoplasm flying everywhere!” Not surprisingly, Hogger begged Wagstaffe to perform further séances, but the medium couldn’t face the prospect of witnessing more full on spiritual sex. “Believe me, the sight of those heaving spectral buttocks is something I don’t want a repeat performance of – worse still, as she was translucent you could see him thrusting in and out of her. Quite repulsive,” he says. “That’s when I had the idea of binding her spirit and trapping it in a vessel, so that he could take her home with him. It had the added advantage for John, that once ‘bound’ in this way, she’d do absolutely anything he wanted –anything!”
News of John Hogger’s new found supernatural bliss soon spread amongst Macclesfield’s occultists, resulting in Wagstaffe receiving a stream of requests to materialise sex slave spirits. “That’s when I decided that I might as well seize the opportunity and start charging for it,” he declares. “At first they were just sad cases like John, seeking deceased loved ones, then I started getting the weirdos – the ones after the deceased wives and husbands of friend and neighbours who they had coveted in life. Then came the celebrity chasers – pretty soon Sid and I were working overtime!” Nevertheless, there were still some hurdles to be overcome before some potential customers could be won over. “Some of them feared that the objects of their desire would return in the same state that they had died,” Wagstaffe explains. “I can see their point – I mean, you wouldn’t want to have sex with the mangled spectre of a car crash victim, with severed limbs, multiple contusions and their brains oozing out, now would you? But I was able to reassure them that the astral bodies we conjured up would resemble the spirits as they had been in the prime of their earthly lives. Better, in fact.”
Whilst Wagstaffe himself doesn’t fully understand the appeal of this spectral sex craze, many of his clients have assured him that it is the best sex that they have ever experienced. “It isn’t just that these bound spirits are completely compliant and will perform on demand,” he confides. “Apparently the whole sexual experience is heightened. For instance, one woman whose dead husband’s spirit I had raised, told me that when his ghost penetrated her, it was like an electric shock coursing through her whole body, and when he came it was like a nuclear explosion going off inside of her! Ectoplasm came pouring out of her every orifice and she lit up like a Christmas tree!” Another client told of how when his phantom girlfriend came to orgasm, his whole flat erupted into poltergeist activity. “She screamed like a banshee whilst cutlery, ornaments, even furniture flew around them,” says Wagstaffe. “He reckoned that as she climaxed the bed rose six inches off of the floor, before the bedclothes burst into flame! He said the scorched knackers and singed pubes were worth it for the amazing sex!”
Not surprisingly, Wagstaffe’s activities have been condemned by religious figures, with the vicar of his local church warning that it can only end in evil. “He was round here the other day,” confides Wagstaffe. “He was banging on about how we are all being deceived and that what I’m conjuring up are really demons taking the form of client’s loved ones. He keeps ranting on that they were only pretending be subservient and biding their time. According to the silly old fart, I could be responsible for unleashing a plague of spectral rapists and sex offenders upon mankind!” Although the medium laughs off such warnings, the original recipient of his assistance, John Hogger, is beginning to suspect that they might have some credence. “My life’s become a living Hell,” a wan faced Hogger has told The Sleaze. “At first it was great having my wife back – better than when she was alive, actually. I mean, in her spectral form she was so much more compliant, she didn’t answer back or moan all the time, and she’d do stuff she refused point blank to do before. Oral sex, for instance. Now, not only would she give me a blow job, but it was brilliant – my balls would glow and I’d ejaculate flames from my penis! Best of all, she swallowed them!”
However, after a few months, things began to go awry for Hogger. “She became incredibly demanding – insatiable, in fact,” he recalls. “If I refused her demands for sex, she’d force me – transforming into ectoplasm and penetrating me anally! It was bloody agony! All the time she was screaming ‘See how you like it, you bastard!’, I was terrified! “ Hogger described another occasion when his ghost wife suddenly extruded an ectoplasmic penis and forced it into his mouth, giving him no choice but to fellate it. “It was huge, I thought I was going to choke,” he says. “When it ejaculated, it felt like the fires of Hell were shooting down my throat – I couldn’t speak for days afterward!” A desperate Hogger – who is currently taking sanctuary in a local Catholic church – is seeking an exorcist to rid him of the sex obsessed spectre. “I tried keeping her off of me by threatening her with a crucifix,” he explains. “But she just snatched it from and masturbated with it – at which point it burst into flame! I clearly need professional help!”