Tag: weird

Unreal Ales

Can the Campaign for Real Ale tell the difference between effluent and craft beer? While real ale buffs enthuse over new brew, micro brewery owner accused of brewing unreal ales from raw sewage as port of revenge plot for loss of local pub.

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Perversion Therapy

Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called ‘Perversion Therapy’? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from ‘Conversion Therapy’ scandal.

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Too Good for the Poor

Is poverty too good for the poor? Extraordinary claims of well off City-types who engage in poverty role play. Buying up slums to revel in supposedly stress free, irresponsible lives of the poor, in order to relieve the ennui of their privileged lives.

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Conspiracy of Conspiracy Theories

Are conspiracy theories themselves part of a conspiracy to subvert democratic institutions and national economies for the benefit of a shadowy elite? New book makes astounding claims that most popular conspiracy theories are being disseminated by sinister figures hoping to profit from the uncertainty and chaos they cause.

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Bent Out of Shape

Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime – promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.

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The Tories’ Last Orgy

Is the Tory party about to implode into an orgy of sadism and sexual depravity? Top political activist compares state of Tory government to last days of Third Reich, predicts it will self-destruct in hedonistic frenzy of sex and violence.

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Disability Wars

Investigation into Stephen Hawking’s former nurse uncovers underground network of gladiatorial contests for the disabled. Did late physicist’s use of high tech weaponry to win competition lead to Far Eastern gambling syndicate ‘offing’ him?

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Jurassic Fart

Did the dinosaurs fart themselves into extinction? Top scientist sparks controversy with new theory that Jurassic giants own noxious emissions might have wiped them out by triggering catastrophic climate change.

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Shoot ‘Em in the Commons

House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn’s ‘Zombie Government’ comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting ‘shoot ’em in the head!’ Rival parliamentary factions ‘tool up’ as Brexit debate turns violent!

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Ghosts of Brexit

Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?

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Santa’s Secret Sweat Shop

Santa’s secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!

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Alien Excrement

Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.

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Call of the Monstrous

Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.

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My Mother the Transgender Ghost

Can gender fluidity exist beyond the grave? Can spirits ‘cross over’ after they cross over? Man sues local medium after dead mother’s spirit manifests itself – but in male form.

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I Fought Hitler’s Ghost

London man claims he was assaulted by Hitler’s ghost following his steamy affair with the spirit of Eva Braun. Charged with affray following ferocious battle in high Street with phantom Fuhrer.

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Night Caller

Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight. The deep voiced mystery man then proceeds to probe them on the most intimate aspects of their lives, claiming that the conversation is being broadcast to the nation on Radio Midnight.

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