House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn’s ‘Zombie Government’ comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting ‘shoot ’em in the head!’ Rival parliamentary factions ‘tool up’ as Brexit debate turns violent!
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Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?
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Santa’s secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!
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Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.
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Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.
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Can gender fluidity exist beyond the grave? Can spirits ‘cross over’ after they cross over? Man sues local medium after dead mother’s spirit manifests itself – but in male form.
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London man claims he was assaulted by Hitler’s ghost following his steamy affair with the spirit of Eva Braun. Charged with affray following ferocious battle in high Street with phantom Fuhrer.
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Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight. The deep voiced mystery man then proceeds to probe them on the most intimate aspects of their lives, claiming that the conversation is being broadcast to the nation on Radio Midnight.
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Man startled by ‘living statue’ vows to ‘take back the streets from the street entertainers’, Claims that public spaces increasingly cluttered by presence of untalented and intimidating street ‘performers’. War declared on jugglers, buskers, living statues and other ‘performers’ of no artistic merit.
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Is new exploitation movie ‘I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out’ pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?
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Is the mysterious codex of the Fifteenth Century Voynich Manuscript just gibberish? New TV series claims document, at best, semi-pornographic doodlings of bored medieval student. Further alleges that ancient Mayan art produced under influence of powerful hallucinogens rather than representing alien visitors.
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Are the great British public actually a bunch of ill informed morons? With radio phone ins more popular than ever and social media allowing ordinary citizens to publicly express their opinions as never before, top academic claims that everything they say is utter, ill informed, bollocks. Should government actually be discouraging greater electoral engagement by the terminally ignorant?
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Was Santa killed and replaced by double in 1996? Astonishing claims by ‘Santa is Dead’ conspiracy theorists that Santa replaced by Jesus after being hit by van while delivering presents! ‘I buried Santa’ claims former van driver!
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Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!
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Londoners warned of threat posed to Christmas shoppers by gang of crazed dwarves dressed as Christmas elves. Police claim that evil elves are targeting people buying and giving inappropriate and disappointing gifts for relatives.
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Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.
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