Santa’s Secret Sweat Shop
Santa’s secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!
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Tag: weird
Alien Excrement
Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.
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Call of the Monstrous
Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.
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My Mother the Transgender Ghost
Can gender fluidity exist beyond the grave? Can spirits ‘cross over’ after they cross over? Man sues local medium after dead mother’s spirit manifests itself – but in male form.
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I Fought Hitler’s Ghost
London man claims he was assaulted by Hitler’s ghost following his steamy affair with the spirit of Eva Braun. Charged with affray following ferocious battle in high Street with phantom Fuhrer.
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Night Caller
Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight. The deep voiced mystery man then proceeds to probe them on the most intimate aspects of their lives, claiming that the conversation is being broadcast to the nation on Radio Midnight.
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Taking Back the Streets
Man startled by ‘living statue’ vows to ‘take back the streets from the street entertainers’, Claims that public spaces increasingly cluttered by presence of untalented and intimidating street ‘performers’. War declared on jugglers, buskers, living statues and other ‘performers’ of no artistic merit.
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I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out
Is new exploitation movie ‘I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out’ pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?
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Ancient Idiots?
Is the mysterious codex of the Fifteenth Century Voynich Manuscript just gibberish? New TV series claims document, at best, semi-pornographic doodlings of bored medieval student. Further alleges that ancient Mayan art produced under influence of powerful hallucinogens rather than representing alien visitors.
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Overheard Conversations
Are the great British public actually a bunch of ill informed morons? With radio phone ins more popular than ever and social media allowing ordinary citizens to publicly express their opinions as never before, top academic claims that everything they say is utter, ill informed, bollocks. Should government actually be discouraging greater electoral engagement by the terminally ignorant?
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I Buried Santa!
Was Santa killed and replaced by double in 1996? Astonishing claims by ‘Santa is Dead’ conspiracy theorists that Santa replaced by Jesus after being hit by van while delivering presents! ‘I buried Santa’ claims former van driver!
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Secret Santa
Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!
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Evil Elves
Londoners warned of threat posed to Christmas shoppers by gang of crazed dwarves dressed as Christmas elves. Police claim that evil elves are targeting people buying and giving inappropriate and disappointing gifts for relatives.
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Halloween Sex Pests
Halloween – the time when ghosts, ghouls and celebrity sex offenders come out to play. Under cover of ‘trick or treat’, Hollywood’s top sex pests have often donned a spooky costumes to try and take advantage of unsuspecting lone women.
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The Two Faces of Brexit
A bizarre continental take on Brexit, which casts the whole debate over whether the UK should leave the EU or remain as a horror movie. Essentially a variant on Jekyll and Hyde, it features a pro-European journalist turning bestial after being secretly injected with a mysterious serum by a sinister pro Brexit politician.
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Stiff Shifters
New Uber-like app Stiff Shifters offering to provide customers with hearse within fifteen minutes for cut price funeral services under fire from users. Mourners claim ‘hearses’ have included ice cream vans and coffins carried on roof racks.
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