weird | The Sleaze

The Third Secret

Aug 15, 2019 | Religion & Royalty

Just what is the truth behind the Third Secret of Sutton Coldfield? Why is it being suppressed by the Vatican? Conspiracy theorist claims it prophesises gay pope, thereby threatening whole basis of Catholicism.

The Wet Sell

Aug 1, 2019 | Pop Culture

Will male incontinence products be the next advertising phenomena? With women’s incontinence products market now saturated, advertisers turning to male equivalents, promising ‘Wet Sell’ to make rubber pants and adult nappies to cater for binge drinking and curry consequences sexy.

Casting Cats

Jul 25, 2019 | Pop Culture

Fury over trailer for new film version of ‘Cats’ – critics accuse makers of prejudice due to failure to cast real cats. Claim use of human actors playing felines as bad as white actors blacking up to play negro roles. Casting allegedly part of media’s pro-dog, anti-cat, agenda.

Unreal Ales

Jun 6, 2019 | Pop Culture

Can the Campaign for Real Ale tell the difference between effluent and craft beer? While real ale buffs enthuse over new brew, micro brewery owner accused of brewing unreal ales from raw sewage as part of revenge plot for loss of local pub.

Perversion Therapy

May 30, 2019 | Weird

Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called ‘Perversion Therapy’? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from ‘Conversion Therapy’ scandal.

Too Good for the Poor

May 23, 2019 | Weird

Is poverty too good for the poor? Extraordinary claims of well off City-types who engage in poverty role play. Buying up slums to revel in supposedly stress free, irresponsible lives of the poor, in order to relieve the ennui of their privileged lives.

Conspiracy of Conspiracy Theories

May 9, 2019 | Politics

Are conspiracy theories themselves part of a conspiracy to subvert democratic institutions and national economies for the benefit of a shadowy elite? New book makes astounding claims that most popular conspiracy theories are being disseminated by sinister figures hoping to profit from the uncertainty and chaos they cause.

Bent Out of Shape

Apr 25, 2019 | Politics

Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime – promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.

The Tories’ Last Orgy

Apr 15, 2019 | Politics

Is the Tory party about to implode into an orgy of sadism and sexual depravity? Top political activist compares state of Tory government to last days of Third Reich, predicts it will self-destruct in hedonistic frenzy of sex and violence.

Disability Wars

Mar 21, 2019 | Crime

Investigation into Stephen Hawking’s former nurse uncovers underground network of gladiatorial contests for the disabled. Did late physicist’s use of high tech weaponry to win competition lead to Far Eastern gambling syndicate ‘offing’ him?

Jurassic Fart

Feb 28, 2019 | Science

Did the dinosaurs fart themselves into extinction? Top scientist sparks controversy with new theory that Jurassic giants own noxious emissions might have wiped them out by triggering catastrophic climate change.

Shoot ‘Em in the Commons

Jan 31, 2019 | Politics

House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn’s ‘Zombie Government’ comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting ‘shoot ’em in the head!’ Rival parliamentary factions ‘tool up’ as Brexit debate turns violent!

Ghosts of Brexit

Jan 24, 2019 | Politics

Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?

Santa’s Secret Sweat Shop

Dec 13, 2018 | Weird

Santa’s secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!

Alien Excrement

Nov 15, 2018 | Science

Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.

Call of the Monstrous

Nov 1, 2018 | Weird

Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.

Tag: weird