Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a reader fears ‘fire down below’ during sex thanks to her pyrokinetic powers. Can the Rev help?
Should convicted criminals who die before they’ve completed their sentences be brought back from the grave to finish their punishment? Newspaper suggests voodoo be employed to bring back as zombies offenders attempting to cheat justice through death.
Major UK Terror Alert After Hijacked Santa’s Sleigh Crashes into Shoppers at German Market. Was Driver Part of Group Trying to Drive Out European Xmas Traditions in Favour of British Yule-tide Celebrations?
Man Punches Out Salvation Army Officer for Wishing Him an Unsolicited ‘Happy Christmas’. So Called ‘Man Who Hate Christmas’ Plans to Sabotage Yuletide by Poisoning Supermarket Seasonal Foodstuffs with own Excrement.
Government plans to break junior doctors’ dispute by using blackleg alternative medical practitioners, including voodoo priests, spiritualists and shamans, revealed. Patients complain of use of animal sacrifices instead of pharmaceuticals.
Were Successive Nazi, Soviet and US Attempts to Create ‘Dead Sexy’ Soldiers Capable of Using Sexual Energies to Remotely Kill Inspired by Secret Buddhist Priesthood? Did President Kennedy Fall Prey to Russian ‘Sex Assassin’?
Experts warn of ‘erotic apocalypse’ if public given access to recently uncovered ancient pornography. UK government seeks to suppress addictive classical smut amid fears that its potency could destroy civilisation.