Is the appearance of a number of mysterious domed installations linked to a rise in political extremism in the UK? “Our investigations have shown that wherever these things appear, an upsurge of extreme right-wing activity follows – UKIP, the English Defence League, England First and sundry other nutters suddenly start organising and demonstrating,” top conspiracy theorist Reg Prout told The Sleaze. “It always happens in towns with no history of extremism and the locals they recruit also have no history of involvement in politics of any kind, let alone extreme right-wing organisations campaigning on anti-immigration or down right racist platforms.” Prout believes that the mysterious installations – which are always situated just outside the affected towns and are constructed in complete secrecy – are of extraterrestrial origin. “Those domes are obviously pressurised, probably containing an environment which, whilst toxic to humans, can sustain life forms alien to this planet,” he explained. “We’ve had several reports from witnesses of tanker trucks, apparently full of some kind of chemical sludge, coming and going from these places – obviously these are nutrients vital to the survival of the aliens.” Prout has theorised that the alien creatures contained in the domes are somehow ‘taking over’ the bodies of unsuspecting earth people, using them as vessels by which they can exist in our atmosphere and turning them into extremists at the same time.
“Alien possession would explain the apparently irrational hatred of those who appear ‘different’ – they identify with their host bodies, which seem to be predominantly white and male, as being the norm” muses the conspiracy theorist. “The desire to destroy immigrant communities could simply be a defence mechanism – these aliens probably see them as ‘rival’ invaders!” Prout believes that alien possession could explain many of the other bizarre behaviours exhibited by extremist leaders. “Take the UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, for instance – he always seems somewhat disconnected from reality and is given to suddenly shouting or laughing loudly at inappropriate moments. He certainly doesn’t seem to be completely in control of what he’s saying, either,” he notes. “These are sure signs of an alien parasite struggling to maintain control of a foreign life form, trying desperately to appear ‘normal’. Either that, or he’s drunk all the time. That said, all his boasting about his drinking prowess and all that ostentatious hanging about in pubs he does, is probably just a cover the Farage-being employs to explain his erratic behaviour to us earthlings.” Prout is less clear as to the long term goals of the aliens. “Clearly, their short-term aim seems to be to seize political power as unobtrusively as possible,” he speculated to The Sleaze. “If they achieve that, then who knows what their next step will be – initially they might start building more of those installations to ‘convert’ ever greater numbers of their people. Then again, their long term aim might be to alter the earth’s atmosphere so that they can inhabit the planet in their true form – perhaps that’s why all these extreme right-wing types are climate change deniers and want to put a stop to renewable energy sources. The more carbon emissions they pump into the atmosphere, the less habitable the planet becomes for us, but ideal for them!”
However, fellow conspiracy theorist Paul Lanke believes that Prout is wrong about the aliens’ long-term plans. “He’s thinking Quatermass II when, in reality, we’re facing a Quatermass and the Pit situation,” he told The Sleaze. “Believe me, this isn’t the first time that these alien bastards have visited earth – they were first here thousands, maybe even millions, of years ago, when they first started possessing our ancestors. Now they are back to reclaim their heritage!” Lanke explained that he believes that, on their previous visits, the aliens had stimulated the evolution of the human race and had left some kind of residual genetic trace in the humans they possessed at that time. “They bred us to be the perfect vessels for their forms to be able survive on earth – like organic spacesuits,” he claimed. “All this hated their stirring up now, it’s designed so as to enable them to identify those humans who carry their genetic ‘mark’ and are therefore best suited to host them! All those people who go on their marches, attend their rallies, even just vote for them, they are doomed to host alien parasites! Ultimately, they hope that there will be an eruption of hatred, in which all those humans without the trace are ‘purged’ out of existence!”
Bizarre though the theories of Prout and Lanke might sound, scores of ordinary Britons, from the length and breadth of the country, have told The Sleaze of their own experiences the mystery installations and the simultaneous rise of right-wing extremism in their localities. “I first glimpsed it when I was driving down a country lane just outside of town – there it was, nestling between the trees and the contours of the fields, what can best be described as an industrial installation. Painted grey, I saw it for only a second or two, but the presence of two dome-like structures was obvious. I had no idea what it was, or when it had been built, it certainly hadn’t been there the last time I’d driven down that road a few months earlier,” recalls Charlie Fruit a resident of a small town in the West of England, whose experiences are typical. “Then, a couple of days later, I noticed all these election banners for UKIP plastered all over the town for the local council elections. It struck me then that we’d never had that lot organising here before that installation had appeared!” According to Fruit, the levels of extremist activity rapidly increased, with violent EDF demonstrations and angry UKIP meetings. “The EDL tried to organise a march on the local mosque,” says Fruit. “Except that we’ve never had a mosques here – so they beseiged Mr Khan’s newsagents instead!”
Such stories only serve to reinforce the conspiracy theorists’ beliefs that the UK is facing an alien threat in the form of right-wing extremism. “They’re out to undermine anything which promotes human solidarity, as only by banding together against them do we have any hope of defeating this threat,” opines Prout. “That’s why try to demonise immigrants and foreigners and are so dead set against the European Union!” Official sources have dismissed Prout’s allegations and claimed that the mystery installations are actually harmless food waste recycling plants. “Obviously, they’ve begun to infiltrate even the upper echelons of the British establishment,” Prout told The Sleaze. “After all, over the past five years there has been a significant rightward swing in British politics.” The conspiracy theorist is well aware of the irony of claiming that some of Britain’s leading anti-immigration politicians are actually ‘illegal aliens’ themselves. “But it’s the only explanation”, he mused. “How else are we to explain why these people hold such irrational, illogical and inhumane views, unless they are not human themselves?”