“What’s wrong with the right that they’re always getting upset about stuff?” asks top academic Jerry Mire, Visiting Professor of Sexual Politics at the Bromyard Institute of Weaving. “They always seem to be whingeing on about something or other that’s upset them – only the other day they were all getting het up about the government declaring the establishment of a ‘Stephen Lawrence Day’ to commemorate the murdered black teenager. It was all the usual stuff about how it was discrimination against murdered white youths that none of them had a day named after them! I mean, it’s utterly pathetic! And they call people on the left snowflakes!” Indeed, Mire notes that much of this right-wing anguish, frequently expressed via social media, centres on a perceived sense of racial discrimination. “It’s quite bizarre, despite white people still being very much in the majority in the UK, these ‘righties’, despite themselves being predominantly white, middle class males, keep whining on about how hey are oppressed,” he told the Daily Norks in an interview to publicise his new book, Right and Wrong. “The slightest thing sets their tirades off: news stories about a black person or someone with an ‘Islamic’ name being appointed to a senior position – that’s always down to ‘positive discrimination or tokenism’ – someone who isn’t white being found not guilty of a violent crime – racial bias of the justice system – or even just the sight of a black man in a suit who is clearly better educated and spoken than them – ‘political correctness gone mad’.”

if it isn’t ethnic minorities supposedly being given unfair advantages, then it is women’s rights which seem to be upsetting the over sensitive right wing snowflakes, according to Mire. “Once again, they seem to be upset over the very notion of gender equality, equating it with unfairness and advantage, rather than parity,” he mused. “Of course, equal rights for homosexuals and transsexuals is even more upsetting for these ‘righties’. In their world view, these groups – and women, not to mention ethnic minorities – are simply refusing to accept that their historically poor treatment is ‘normal’ and that they are instead trying to gain an ‘unfair’ advantage under the guise of ‘equality’.” A persistent theme of the right’s grievances, Mire contends, is that, despite representing an ethnic and social majority, they are actually the oppressed, their ‘rights’ and ‘freedoms’ continually infringed. “This has been reflected in their recent obsession with ‘free speech’ and their continual whining that their rights to freedom of expression are being curtailed because various right-wingers have been banned from social media for making racist, sexist and homophobic comments,” says the academic. “Which is ironic considering that most of the media has traditionally been in the hands of right wing owners who regularly ensure that left of centre views concerning such issues as equality, racism, tolerance and, yes, freedom of the press, are suppressed. Yet these oversensitive ‘righties’ equate such press imbalance with not being allowed to spew vile abuse at people and groups they don’t like! They really need to get a grip and stop being so sensitive – just accept the world as it is!”

Some of these so called ‘righty snowflakes’ have furiously hit back at Mire’s comments. “It is completely unfair to label us as right wing – we’re just ordinary people expressing a common sense view of today’s issues, reflecting the consensus of the ‘silent majority’,” Julius Prink, who uses the Twitter handle @sword_of_stgeorge203 and frequently retweets former English Defence League leader Tommy Robinson, told the West Berkshire Motor Trader’s Gazette. “We don’t have any party political affiliations – we just tell it as it is! If some people find some of our comments offensive, then tough – nobody has the right not to be offended! That’s the essence of free speech – that sometimes you have to hear things you don’t like! We have to suffer all that left wing politically correct crap, after all.” Prink believes that the currently oppressive political atmosphere in which those wanting to exercise their right to free speech and express unpopular opinions is epitomised by a recent court case in Scotland. “It’s bloody outrageous – a bloke was prosecuted and fined for telling a joke,” he told the local newspaper, referring to the man who trained a puppy to give Hitler salutes when cued with various Nazi ‘catch phrases’, including ‘Heil Hitler’ and ‘Gas the Jews’, then posted the resulting video on You Tube. “I mean, I know it was in poor taste, but it was just a joke – aren’t we even allowed to have a sense of humour any more?”

In response to this latter comment, Mire has pointed out that the ‘it was just a joke’ is the standard defence of bullies and bigots whenever their unacceptable behaviour is challenged. “Besides, the fact is that this individual wasn’t prosecuted for telling a joke, or even simply being offensive,” the professor opines. “He was prosecuted for inciting racial hatred by continually saying ‘Gas the Jews’. The fact is that freedom of speech’ does not and never has meant that you can publicly say anything you like. The use of racially or sometimes religiously inflammatory language is restricted by law – for good reason.” Mire also notes the irony inherent in the fact that many of the ‘righties’ supporting the right of someone to use anti-Semitic language in the guise of free speech, are the very same people who have been lambasting Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour party for alleged anti-Semitism. “But we shouldn’t be surprised at this political hypocrisy – these are the people who claim not to have party political affiliations. The sort of people who claim to be equally frustrated with both major parties, (but still seem to spend a lot of time ‘liking’ and retweeting stuff posted by right-wingers),” he points out. “Their refrain used to be that there was no difference between Conservative and Labour, so it didn’t matter which way they voted, (they voted Tory, as they always had). Yet, as soon as Corbyn became Labour leader and the party remembered that it was meant to be a bit left of centre, they started screaming about ‘extremism’ rendering the party unelectable! Make up your minds – either you want a clear ideological differentiation between the main parties or you don’t!”

The problem underlying the right wing snowflakes’ over sensitivity, Mire argues, is their inability to accept change. “It’s really a form of arrested development – they cannot move on from the image of the world they grew up in,” he says. “They believe that this world, with all its inequalities, bigoted values and unfairness – attitudes amplified by their parents, who also harked back to the ‘better world’ of their childhoods – represents the ‘natural order’ and is immutable. They cannot accept that all of their received wisdom and ‘values’ might be wrong – anything which challenges these makes them feel insecure and upset.” The solution, he believes, is simple: “Look, these right-wing cry babies just have to bloody well grow up and stop throwing their toys out of the pram every time they find that the real world doesn’t conform to their childish fantasies!”